Out of Control
Antilock brakes chuffed and sputtered as he pumped and then pushed hard on the pedal, as the new Chevrolet slid on ice that he still couldn’t see. Black ice, the color of the pavement; how was it formed? Was it always lurking or did it need special conditions to leap up and grab the unsuspecting? The sky was black, the pavement was black, and his heart was black.
Milliseconds felt like minutes, seconds stretched. Time became elastic and static in the same instant. This morning, last year, tomorrow like a barista creation waiting to be stirred, separated by negative space.
Chatter, chuff, sputter, slide. Back tires chasing front in a dance to reach traction. Spin, turn; “turn into the slide, ease off the brake” his brain commanded but somewhere the amygdala screamed “press harder, press the pedal to the floor.” Why had he stormed out without letting her explain? STOP before we go over the edge.
Guard rails disappeared from his headlights glare as the rear tires won the race and were now leading the charge with no regard for the blood ponding like a kettle drum inside his ears. STOP.
He knew he wasn’t going to die because his life wasn’t passing in a flash, just trees, rock, trees, rock, nothing. Weightless and blind, he couldn’t see what was right in front of him. Had she always known him so well? Silence, in his head, in his heart and in his ears, was this the calm before the storm. It had been 4 years since they moved in together. STOP. And he did, the crash was like ice cubes popping from a tray, sharp and distinct but he didn’t know where it came from. Until the nylon was right in front of his face and pressing against his chest, he hadn’t recognized the small explosion that inflated the airbag. How had he not seen it coming? The blow up saved his life. Without it he would have continued to spin over the edge of his own design. A rude awakening initially, but a necessary reaction to dangerous circumstances.
The blow up saved his life and his relationship and now the car and his relationship needed to go in for some repairs.
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