It's hard to avoid broken people. Sometimes, believing that someone could get better is all it takes to put back the broken pieces.
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It's hard to avoid broken people. Sometimes, believing that someone could get better is all it takes to put back the broken pieces.
It's only hard if you're broken yourself, and instead of doing the much-needed self-work, you cultivate your emotional alignment by seeking them out even more.
The whole point is that you CANNOT fix broken people, because the whole reason why you're in a relationship with them is because both you and them are broken. Do you see what I mean? The reason why you're with them is because both you and him/her are using each other to feed the emotional addiction that you both suffer from. No emotionally healthy person in their right mind would ever start a relationship with a broken person, so you're with them because you are broken yourself. Your whole desire of wanting to help a broken person IS THE PROBLEM.
/Eddie
Wanting to help a broken person is a problem? I beg to disagree, sir. Helping them is perfectly fine. The problem is when YOU try to fix them. You shouldn't do all the work. The drive must come from them.
You seem to disregard the fact that what is being talked about here is getting involved with them romantically, intimately and inviting them into your life to stay, and then "helping them", which certainly does not work ever and is in and of itself a disorder, since what these people want is a state of perpetual misery with one another with the justification of "wanting to help" the other person, but which ultimately leads to just more misery.
Co-dependency, get it?
Relationships don't have a hard and fast rules. What applies to others may not necessarily apply to some. Not always. But i do get your point.
Co-dependency-based relationships aren't relationships, and the whole point is that you're NOT helping them, but simply feeding their emotionally destructive addictions. I'm not talking about healthy relationships. Did you miss the title of this post? This is co-dependency, which only serves as a destructive means of giving an addict more of the same drug that prevents them from solving the real issue, which will never be solved if people continue entering into romantic relationships with these people, because your emotional presence is their drug. That's the thing. "Helping" a person like that by giving them the drug is the opposite of helping them, which is why I posed the questions which gives people who feel like they need to help a set of ideas which might make them question their own desire of helping such unhealthy, codependent individuals, because if you try to "help" co-dependents by giving them a "relationship", which is exactly what they want so that they can feed off of your altruism, it always ends in disaster, 100% of the time.