Here are some traits that, if you experience them, indicate you probably have low self-esteem. Fortunately, low self-esteem is something you can improve if you're willing to put in the work. It can take some time, especially if you have very low self-esteem.
Negative self-talk.
That voice in your head sometimes stems from your upbringing. It could be how your parents used to talk to you or anyone else in your life who may have been very negative. Of course, some people have a positive inner voice and tend to have higher self-esteem than those with a negative voice. You can start altering this inner voice by gradually telling yourself a different story and perceiving things differently. You cannot control your initial thoughts, which may sometimes be negative, but you can correct them with something positive. If you're constantly doing this, ,your inner voice will eventually change into something more positive. This can be hard to do, but with time and effort, it is achievable.
Avoiding new experiences.
Many of us are more introverted and like to keep to ourselves, but humans need interactions with others. You might avoid new experiences because you're overthinking the entire situation. You might assume that others won't like you. The best way to fix this is to attend those events anyway. Not everyone will like you, but there will always be people who do, and something about yourself or your personality is scaring people off. You can also consider changing that, but make sure not to change yourself just for external validation. While we all have negative qualities we could realistically work on, avoiding new experiences stunts your growth in various ways. One thing I like to tell myself when I go to events and feel nervous is that other people feel anxious, too. This may not always be true, but sometimes, telling yourself these things can help you feel more comfortable knowing that others might feel the same way.
Going out of your way to please others.
We all want to do nice things for people and be caring and loving. However, constantly sacrificing yourself for others could be a sign of low self-esteem because you feel like you're not worth it. When someone has low self-esteem, they often treat others better than they treat themselves. Your relationship with yourself is significant. How are you supposed to do nice things for others if you don't care for yourself, too? At least initially, if you need an excuse to take care of yourself, remind yourself that the more you take care of yourself, the more you can take care of others. Ideally, you'll start taking care of yourself over time because you feel worthy of it.
Seeking constant reassurance.
Everyone wants to be liked by others, and we all like a bit of reassurance now and then. It feels good. But we shouldn't rely on others for that reassurance; we should be able to reassure ourselves. This is why we sometimes see relationships fall apart: one person asks for too much reassurance, thinking it will solve the underlying issue. The reality is it's just a Band-Aid for deeper self-hate. You need to address the underlying feelings about why you need that reassurance rather than expecting others to constantly tell you what you want to hear. Often, deeper issues, such as not feeling good enough, stem from our childhood and make us feel like we constantly need validation from others. Additionally, you cannot fully be yourself if you expect reassurance from others, as you're more likely to bend in certain ways to get people to like you, which can erode your self-esteem even more because deep down, you feel like you're not good enough as you are.
Taking criticism personally.
Most things in life aren't personal, which can be a hard pill for some of us. We are the center of our own lives, but we need to remind ourselves that we are not the center of the world or anyone's life, for that matter. Most of the time, if people are upset or grumpy, it's because they're having a bad day or someone else said something to them. It usually doesn't have anything to do with us. It's not your job to pry that out of another person if it is because of you. If they're adults, they should reasonably be expected to have that conversation with you if there's an issue, so it's safe to assume everything is good unless told otherwise. Sometimes, people, of course, will be passive-aggressive. But again, what are you supposed to realistically do? If the same thing is playing out in all of your relationships all the time, it might be worth investigating. Ideally, you have someone in your life who will be super blunt and honest with you, and at that point, you need to be grateful that they're willing to be honest and be careful not to get angry with them.
Perfectionism.
Being a perfectionist involves setting unrealistic standards and feeling like a failure when those expectations aren't met. It's often an excuse not to take action. No one is perfect, and expecting yourself to be perfect sets you up for failure. Also, every time you fail to accomplish your goals, your self-esteem will likely be hurt. Unfortunately, many habits that people with low self-esteem have often make their self-esteem worse, so you'll have to change many habits if you want to fix your self-esteem.
Indecisiveness
This could be a mix of worrying about people potentially getting upset at your decision or overthinking it to a very high degree as if it's a life-or-death situation. Many of us are indecisive, especially with how many decisions we have to make. But if it's something that really causes you to freeze up any time you have to make a decision, it's a symptom that you could potentially have low self-esteem.
Fear of rejection
We're all a little bit afraid of rejection. Who would want to get rejected, realistically? But if this fear is so crippling for you, it might be something you need to look into. People with low self-esteem often won't try anything new because they're afraid of things not working out, which can cause many problems in your life. Instead of realizing that you are human, we all make mistakes, and none of us are perfect, you're putting these unrealistic expectations on yourself.
Apologizing when it's not your fault.
People with low self-esteem often feel like everything is their fault, no matter what it is, so they apologize for it, feel guilty, and beat themselves up over it. It's important to remember when it is genuinely your fault, and you owe someone an apology, and when you're just apologizing to apologize. Apologizing when you're not at fault can appear out of place.
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