I think we oversimplify when we discuss relationships as if that word means anything.
If it covers everything from a fun situationship to a 40 year marriage, it's casting too wide a net.
In the early stages you're assessing each other. Do I want a future with this person?
Once you've made a lifelong commitment, (however that looks in your culture) you're now in the game of providing value to each other to vindicate their choice.
If you're both changing to better fit your understanding of your role inside that lifelong commitment, you're also both watching your partner change right after you committed to them. That can freak a lot of people out.
How far do I want to take this person? is a very different question than Where should we go together?
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