Hannah Witton is a YouTube personality who I came across by random browsing, which is something I do a lot since I basically live in YouTube.
She's a typical millennial, modern semi-feminist white girl and there's nothing about her or her content that really interests me.
Other than a video of hers from 2016 that I came across where she talked about being single for five and half years - despite wanting desperately to be in a relationship.
Out of interest, I clicked on it because even though she's not really my type, it's not like she's a mutant, so something has to be terribly wrong if she's been unwillingly single for five and a half years.
Basically, any woman between her 20s and her 30s, who's not horribly deformed in some way - and sometimes, even if they are - can get a guy if they want. Any woman. This fact is dictated simply by the law of supply and demand.
If a woman in her 20s has been single for five years despite her best efforts, it's usually a giant fucking red flag. There is something horribly wrong with her personality, there's no other explanation.
So, let's see what she had to say in her video about being single for five and a half years.
First of all, why does she want a boyfriend?
The lack of someone to lay everything on. To be like "This happened and this happened and this happened".
It sure didn't take long to find the first problem. Hannah sees her life partner as someone she can whine and complain to. To, like she herself put it, lay everything on. Her partner is someone who's obligated to carry all of her problems and then fix them. That sounds healthy. I wouldn't be surprised if Hannah has never spent a minute thinking what it is that she could offer to someone in a relationship. It's all about what she wants from the guy.
Do I ever have moments when I think no one wants to be with me? Yes, I do have those feelings. It's been five and a half years. I feel up to three years it's like "Woo, single, isn't this great!" But now I'm like "Wait, is there something wrong with me?".
Obviously, there's something wrong with her. And it's probably her expectations. I wouldn't call her ugly by any means. She even seems pretty sweet, and, albeit not a brain surgeon, definitely doesn't seem like she's stupid. There has to be something she's actively doing wrong since the only way a woman can stay single in her 20s is by actively doing something wrong. This is a fact. In order to find a partner, a woman doesn't even have to do anything, the men will do the work. So, sorry to break it you, Hannah, but yes, I think there's something wrong.
There are so many people who never find The One and never settle down.
Ah, knew it! "The One". See, this is what so many women like Hannah are doing wrong: they're like Morpheus in the Matrix, obsessing over finding The One. In the Matrix, Neo was a mythical being that was destined and prophecised to free people from the Matrix and lead humanity to victory over the machines.
Of course, those of us who watched the entire trilogy and paid attention, know that Neo was never The One and that The One was never meant to free humans from anything. The One was simply a construct created by the machines to lure humans into a sense of false hope, which would eventually lead to more control.
I think that the concept of The One in today's modern dating world works a lot like Neo did in the Matrix when you think about it.
Women like Hannah who chase after The One are not actually looking for a partner; they're living out a fantasy that's not true. The One is fiction, and women have been tricked to create their own unhappiness by fantasizing about The One. Finding a partner is much different from finding The One - someone obsessing over the latter will never accomplish the former.
Or have lots of Ones.
Wait, lots of Ones? Hannah, one means one. As in 1. As in less than two. This proves my point. The concept of The One isn't even literal to these women. It's just a fairytale character that exists solely in their heads. It has nothing to do with the real world. The problem that it brings is the fact that no existing man will ever be good enough because he will never be The One. And that's why these women will be single forever.
Do I ever worry that I've found myself while single to the extent that I won't be able to fit another person in? Yes! This speaks to me! I have my life, I have my routine. I know the things that I enjoy and I'm super busy in terms of work, and social life, and hobbies. When I think practically, in terms of time, of fitting someone in... what?
Dear Hannah, there's a word for that. It's "self-centered". Not the first and foremost quality men look for in a woman. And hey, if you're self-centered, be self-centered. But why are you making a video wondering why you've been single for over five years if on the video you list all of the things that prevent you from finding a boyfriend? If you're not willing or able to compromise, why would any men put up with your shit? For what possible reason? There are lots of better women out there who are not self-centered bitches. What is it that you could offer those men? Nothing.
That being said, I feel like if I meet someone who I really, really want to be with, I will make those sacrifices and I will compromise on my commitments and my time. That's always a big sign for me: If I'm not willing to sacrifice some of the things that I already have, I clearly don't like that person enough to be in a serious relationship with them.
And again, there's her problem. This goes back to chasing The One. She assumes that a guy like that exists, and all she has to do is wait for him to show up. But, of course, he won't. She refuses to give anybody a chance, and to put in this in crypto terms, she's like someone who only buys a coin she imagines will go up forever, and then she dumps at the first sign of a red market, instead of deciding to work on it and hodl.
Her expectations are unrealistic, and she's creating all of these problems on her own.
Hell, I live in Finland and my girlfriend lives in California. And here's Hannah telling me it's hard for her to give up on a few hobbies for a second in order to work on her relationship. Really? And she's wondering why she's single.
Maybe I should give people a chance and compromise before I know if I'm into them that much.
Yes. It's called working on a relationship. I bet Hannah's already met several guys she could have been happy with, but she pushed them away and now they've found someone better.
Here's the thing. I'm 24, and unless someone absolutely perfect comes along, why would I make them a priority?
I don't even have to say anything. And, like I said, be that way, but don't waste a second wondering why it is that you'll never find anyone and die alone. If that's what you want, great. But it clearly isn't what Hannah wants, she desperately wants to be in a relationship, but she's doing everything in her power to prevent that from happening.
That's a harsh thing to say. I just heard that come out of my mouth. Nobody's perfect.
It's funny how she herself then even goes to realize, on camera, why she's single. By accident.
There's something else that women like Hannah don't get about The One.
Let's say that The One is the perfect being, the perfect man. The top of the top. The absolute best. Let's say he exists.
Why would he settle for you? Why would he give you the time of day? Men like that probably don't even date, they hook up with a new 19-year old every Friday and Saturday night at the nightclub.
There's no reason for him to even contemplate a relationship with you. What possible reason would the perfect guy have to date you and commit to you? There is none.
Especially since women like Hannah are so self-centered without even realizing it. Never willing to actually work on a relationship. They just expect it to be like a movie and happen on its own. It's because these people are millennials: working on something is eww, so, therefore, a relationship can't be perfect if it takes work. It never does in the movies, right?
A have a few female friends like this, and not that it's any of my business whether or not they're single, but considering that they whine about it all the time, I often do want to slap them in the face and tell them the things I have just expressed about Hannah here.
A common argument they use is my relationship with my late girlfriend, which they describe as so beautiful and so perfect and all that - and it was - but since they're so dumb, they think it just happened by accident, and didn't take years of work to get to where it was.
Stupid millennials. Millennials really are the single generation, destined to be alone and miserable. And I put the blame on Hollywood - even though the blame falls on these women, as well, for being too stupid to realize why fiction is fiction and not the real world.
But hey, whatever.
“Sometimes your best way to deal with shit is not to hold yourself as such a precious little prize.” - Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
It is true, those who complain the most about being single are typically the most distanced from reality when it comes to how they view love. Entitlement is an absolute romance killer. Fantasy has a place in childhood, but one day you grow up and realize there is no "prince charming" who will love you no matter what nasty attitudes you may hold dear. Just as potential "prince charming" does, a woman has to prove herself. It seems typical for females to have higher standards than males, so an imbalance is formed.
I have had male and female friends complain about being single. Typically the females were totally oblivious to their own flaws and thought they should be loved and doted on no matter what, and they thought if anyone needed to change it was the guys they were chasing (they chased jerks leaving nice guys on the sidelines.) Typically the men who complained about being single were "nice", and all too ready to dote on a female, and came off as naive about the brutality of the dating world, thinking all they needed to do was surround a girl in material gifts etc.
Based on my observations, I have a feeling that many well-meaning mothers give their sons horrific dating advice that sets them up for being walked all over by women in the future. As for girls, they grow up with their parents telling them how special and precious they are, and not to waste themselves on just any man. I can see how it might create a warped distortion of their own romantic value, making them shun plenty of worthwhile partners because they are still looking for the altruistic Romeo who puts them on a pedestal as their parents do.
But partnership isn't any of that. It's not romantic by any fantasy definition. It's more like finding a best friend you can be attached to the hip with (and attracted to), and then after the "honeymoon" period fades it's a continual effort to make it work with compromises, sharing both difficult and mundane tasks, and general team work. To want to find someone that is going to make your dreams come true, like a "Hollywood" romance played out in real life, such an expectation is deluded at best, parasitic at worst.
Your comments are way too good for Steemit. :D
They way you're usually supposed to do it is "wow nice post good information". Kidding aside, well said and I agree.
And like I said, not that it's any of my business what these people do, but them complaining about being alone year after year after year - yet, unable and unwilling to look for the flaw in themselves - is amusing, if nothing else. Irritating if you get exposed to it too often.
Oh okay whoops.
"Good read, I enjoyed it!"
Haha, that's probably what happens when new Steemers take the mass following and commenting advice to an extreme. Thanks by the way!
Sure it's their own business, but they also have taken their personal business to the public eye. And I felt your critique was coming from good intentions. It's the kind of "tough love" people need to hear sometimes (whenever they are actually ready to hear it.) It's not uncommon to have trouble objectively viewing the root of one's own problems. And perhaps some people will never snap out of their routine, but for others the external insight can offer them a key once they are receptive to looking at their problems from a different angle.
This made me laugh. I guess, you are in love with Hannah and I hope she will read this open love letter to her. You definitely have all it takes to be her One (or at least one of the Ones). I believe, you got a great future there! Good luck! 😀
Nope, not at all. In fact, the post goes into detail about why I wouldn't waste my time with her.
I've noticed how many struggle with the "I want to find someone.. just anyone who loves me" and in the next sentence going to "I just want to find the one perfect man I'm dreaming of".
Going from one end to another, whining about how she on other hand is lonely enough to be ready with just anyone but still looking for some kind of Prince Beautiful with a white horse and a lot of money.
FFS. This is why I avoid women talking about being single.
There is nothing wrong with being single, though.
Howdy neighbor!
So, I did this ... discovered all I have to offer is a penis. #simplicity
It's that fucking Hallmark channel I tell ya!
For sex.
sexyrealsexdolls.com
For sex.
When dating such a girl, make sure to tell her that your heart belongs to her, but that your dong is community property ;) - Steel Panther - 0:37
I think this is a psychological form of natural selection at play.
I was born in 1987 - I found love by mistake, when I wasn't looking for it at all. I don't want children, nor does my partner - I shudder to think of what future "entitled" generations will look like if people who don't get culled (when they should) by this form of psychological natural selection which I've just coined as a term.
No one's perfect, and nothing will last forever. While the chemicals in our brains tell us it is important to have something, or do to do something, there's just phenomena of the natural universe playing out.
Your last line sums it up perfectly, with the last word the best, whatever.
Yeah, on one hand these people are just doing everybody a favour by free-willingly ruling their genes out of the gene pool of future generations, but on the other hand, they probably end up pregnant after a drunken mistake born out of desperation anyway.
I hope you aren’t generalizing by saying all Millenials or all single women, or even Hollywood is to blame. Cause that would be irresponsible wouldn’t it? Hehe! 🐓🐓
I am.
Poor Hannah! She is just one of a million! 🐓🐓
There is only one The One and that is Jet Li.
Lol.
Have you read Houellebecq's first two or three books? And yes, that is on-topic. Some similar, some alternative explanations are to be found there, with the added bonus that he is even more cynical than you are.
No, but maybe I should? I'm always open to added cynicism.
I bet she has borderline personality disorder. Validation from your bf/gf/so is NICE but not necessary to STAY ALIVE
I saw this come up in the feed and smiled because I sensed another unpopular opinion coming on.
While I'm sure these people exist, I don't think I've ever met one. Most of the girls I've known or dated serially dated to the point where they had never not been dating for more than maybe a month since high school. They didn't know how to be alone. But, I'm slightly older than anyone in the millennial generation.
The details in this post are for sure mind blowing, but I will say that it was a bit harsh on your part. She is a person after all and you broke down her post and her as if she is your test subject. You were way too crtitical about each and everything she said, and if someone is single for 5 years despite wanting to have someone in their lives does not necessarily mean there is something terribly wrong with them. Finding someone you care so deeply about is a thing of chance and maybe that just never happened for her and her wanting to share her day to day happenings with her partner does not make her whiny and self centered. It just makes her human, literally every couple on the face of this earth does that, because they give a crap about each other and they want to know about each other. I do agree that there is never just that One person for everyone but there is nothing wrong with not wanting to settle for just anyone who comes along. It so happens that you can love someone, you care about them but there is something missing and it does not feel quite as it is supposed to, in that, it is better to break it off than to carry it on because you are too chicken to be alone and wait for someone who you feel passionate about. She did say if she comes across someone who makes her feel thatway she would make compromises, anyone would, love does that to you. You wrote the post beautifully but it is just extremely judgy, no matter how idiotic she sounds we can never just trash on them. We all lead different lives, circumstances are different for everyone. Who knows why anything happens? No offense, this is just how I feel so I decided to share.