I grew up Catholic, and though you won’t catch me at church these days, that upbringing still sticks with me. My family and I keep a lot of the traditions alive—not because I’m tied to religion, but because it’s part of who I am. It gave me a blueprint for how to treat people, and there's no reason to toss that out.
I’m putting that out there so nobody reading this thinks I’m against religion. I see no point in tearing it down or attacking faith either. But that doesn’t mean I don’t scratch my head sometimes when good people—like the ones I grew up with—say crazy things.
The sin of empathy
Joe Rigney is a theologian and author, a fellow at New Saint Andrews College in Moscow, Idaho. His book The Sin of Empathy: Compassion and Its Counterfeits, just out in 2025, dives into why he thinks empathy can be dangerous. I watched him defend it in an interview, and like I figured, he’s leaning hard into big, splashy language to sell it. Still, there’s something worth chewing on in his wild idea.
Christians get taught to be kind, soft-hearted, to care for the down-and-out—that’s real. But Rigney’s got a point: bad people can sniff out a bleeding heart and use it. He told this one story that stuck with me—a lady crying about her tough life, tugging at his sleeve, only for him to find out later she was playing him. It’s a lesson I’ve learned myself after enough trips around the sun.
He also talks about staying anchored, not bending your beliefs just because someone’s begging you to. He uses this analogy of a drowning man: an empathic person jumps in to save him and risks drowning too, while a compassionate person holds the boat with one hand and reaches out with the other. It’s a neat picture, but it feels too clean for the real world.
Battle for Meaning
Here’s where I start tripping over these theology talks. We can’t even agree on what words mean. My “compassion” might not match yours, and if we don’t sort that out, we’re just spinning our wheels. Rigney nods at this, but then says “the left” is out to twist definitions—like it’s their fault alone. Come on, language changes all the time, no political team owns that.
Still, I picked up something useful. This idea of fake victims—people using sob stories to manipulate—isn’t new to me. But I hadn’t thought about how Christian kindness, the stuff I grew up on, could be a Trojan horse for it. That’s a real concern some believers are wrestling with.
Pushing Back
Here’s where I jump off the ride. Rigney’s argument starts sliding sideways when he leaves us hanging on what a “good Christian” should actually do. He warns about compromising principles, but what principles? What’s the boat we’re gripping while we save the drowning guy? He doesn’t say.
Then, as you’d guess, he pulls out “the woke,” the trans folks, the LGBT+ crowd—his hand’s fully on the table now. To him, good Christians ruin their salvation by empathizing with these groups, by accepting them. Accepting how? Letting them in church? Being friends? He’s fuzzy on that, and it bugs me.
I want to break this down fair and square, so here’s my pushback:
Empathy and Justice
Empathy doesn’t wreck justice—it makes it better. It’s not about ignoring facts; it’s about seeing the whole picture. Take a kid stealing food. A judge who gets why he did it might go for reform, not just jail time. Without that, you get a cold system that punishes but doesn’t fix. That’s not weakness; that’s humanity.
It’s Not a Weakness
Getting burned by trusting someone doesn’t mean empathy’s the problem. It means we need sharper judgment. Opening up to people takes guts—closing off to avoid hurt is the easy way out, and I’d argue that’s weaker every time.
Self-Indulgence Isn’t Empathy
Those folks posting videos of themselves helping out? That’s not empathy—that’s narcissism. Real empathy doesn’t need a camera. Mixing them up is sloppy thinking.
Rationality Needs Empathy
We’re not robots. Even picking lunch comes with feelings. Understanding how someone feels about their choices doesn’t make us saps—it shows we get how humans work. Rigney’s acting like empathy pulls us out of reality, but it’s part of it.
My Main Concern
This is where it gets real for me. Rigney’s fuzzy talk isn’t just a theology puzzle—it’s a loaded gun. People are already using it to justify ugly stuff, stuff that should keep us up all night. Like what? you may ask.
- Mass deportations.
- Kicking out the LGBT+ crowd.
- Removing women from leadership position at church(they are too empathetic it seems).
If we lose sight of our shared humanity—Catholic, Buddhist, whatever—we’re not just wrong here, we’re completely lost.
I grew up hearing about the Good Samaritan, a guy who helped a stranger when nobody else would. Rigney’s boat-clinging Christian feels miles from that to me. Apathy, though? That’s the sin I’d conjure, more so if I had to come up with a spicy book to sell.
Years ago I volunteered at a community outreach center that was run by a nun. She was amazing. Had worked all over the world helping people. I never met a kinder soul (except my mother). However, she had a rule. She never gave charity to someone who was begging on the street. She didn't know what they would do with the money (buy liquor?) or if they were truly needy. She used legitimate outlets, such as our outreach, to give.
I love that woman, but disagreed with her on that. I figured, even if I was scammed by a street beggar, so what? Nothing wrong with my generous act. The bad is all on them. Their problem. By turning away though, I may be turning from someone truly in need.
Let me add, I am always cautious in giving to random strangers, if I do at all. I never get close enough for them to harm me. I may reach through a car window, for example. This may be rude, but it is effective.
We can always find a reason to be cruel. Being kind--that takes a bit more out of us.
I think it's perfectly fine to be cautious, otherwise you would be putting yourself in peril for no good reason. It's not like if you are in danger, the food you share tastes better or something.
the right path is never the easy one...
Your comment is upvoted by @topcomment
Info - Support - Discord
Thank you very much🦋
I've never been religious, but was raised in a Christian tradition to some extent. I think there's a lot of hypocrisy from those who claim to be Christians (or other religions) and they will pick which bits to go with. It seems to be a lot about smiting the sodomites rather than being a good Samaritan. They might welcome the money lenders into their temples. I'm running out of Bible stuff I know :)
The empathy quote from Musk was taken out of context, but he, and Trump, do not seem too empathetic. They both have big egos and enjoy attention, but you don't see them doing much for charity. Attacking gays, trans, women, Muslims etc do them no favours. They are bullies, not strong.
I guess empathy just seems to 'woke' to them.
I have to look it up, maybe I will, but there's a pastor of a church who got heavily critiqued for sharing the sermon of the mountain with his congregation.
Apparently the sermon was too woke.
Jokingly, I said to my wife, that if Jesus was to come back, some right wingers would call him a libtard with no hesitation.
Yeah, I’m with you on this. Empathy isn’t the problem, apathy is. If we stop caring about people just because some might take advantage, we lose what makes us human. That’s way more dangerous
The new religious right has a deep hatred for anyone who isn't already within the sphere of what they deem holy.
i was not familiar with Petra... The only christian rock band I remember from back in the day was Stryper!
What about Larry Norman, Keith Green, or 2nd Chapter of Acts?
none of those...
I'll share with you the christian band that is always in my playlist.
Not quite my style. You might like the Jars of Clay album If I Left the Zoo, though. I like pretty much everything on that one. Solid late-90s alternative rock.
YouTube playlist link
They also played their cover version of that Petra song on a tribute album.
Oh this reminds me a lot of one of late friends... so much I'm a little blown away.
I got all emotional now remembering my younger years.
his kidneys gave out on him.