9. Pride and the Problems Associated With It © 2014 - Matt Sharpe

pride (n.) late Old English pryto, Kentish prede, Mercian pride "pride, haughtiness, pomp," from prud (see proud). There is debate whether Scandinavian cognates (Old Norse pryði, Old Swedish prydhe , Danish pryd, etc.) are borrowed from Old French (from Germanic) or from Old English. Meaning "that which makes a person or people most proud" is from c.1300. First applied to groups of lions late 15c., but not commonly so used until c.1930. Paired with prejudice from 1610s.

A high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.

Synonyms - Conceit, self-esteem, egotism, vanity, vainglory imply an unduly favorable idea of one's own appearance, advantages, achievements, etc., and often apply to offensive characteristics. Pride is a lofty and often arrogant assumption of superiority in some respect. Conceit implies an exaggerated estimate of one's own abilities or attainments, together with pride. Self-esteem may imply an estimate of oneself that is higher than that held by others.Egotism implies an excessive preoccupation with oneself or with one's own concerns, usually but not always accompanied by pride or conceit. Vanity implies self-admiration and an excessive desire to be admired by others. Vainglory, somewhat literary, implies an inordinate and therefore empty or unjustified pride.

Proverbs 16:18 - "Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." That line from the Christian Bible is one that many find more familiar in its abridged version, "Pride goeth before a fall."It demonstrates the concept that pride as a motivation for words or actions will often lead one to a fall from whatever high place they had previously imagined they held. Pride in and of itself, is a product of the mind, while individuality is the natural state of the Soul. It is the True Self which is eternal, divine and Godlike. It is the Higher Self that many speak of, although only a few have any degree of experience with the reality of that point of view. It is entirely different from the lower self that the mystics speak of. It is this lower self that will be addressed here

It is this lower self that is under the grip of the Freudian ego, which tends to view things in the way that best suits its desires for itself. Far more rare is the consciousness that is actually willing to observe both sides of any given issue from a detached and objective viewpoint so as to discern the way the lower self acts when challenged. In this way one can potentially take steps forward in their own spiritual development and unfoldment. This is one aspect of how spiritual freedom can be achieved via the process of karmic re-balancing the lessons of which stretch the awareness of the individual until it can perceive reality as a whole rather than just through the eyes of self. The mental and emotional urges to avoid change are specifically the motivations that often cause an individual to engage in deception to others, regarding themselves. This is a form of hubris, one that seeks to manipulate the perceptions of others so that that perception is more favorable and in agreement with the way they would like themselves to be perceived.

In a case where the individual refuses to recognize the need for change despite it being quite visible, they generally proceed to deceive themselves, which is a fast track to creating a delusion with that item or situation. It is undeniable that self-honesty and inner strength are requirements for any degree of spiritual development. And each time a challenge of this sort is observed in an honest manner and an appropriate solution for it sought, regardless of the amount of discomfort that happens from having to face that reality, The individual gains a greater degree of inner strength from the experience, and potentially, ever expanding interpretations of reality that becomes ever more inclusive. In this way, as just a single example, the consciousness is made to expand from the state it had been in before that point.

Another form of deception that is born of pride is self-deception, where an individual simply is unable, or unwilling to deal with a particular reality about themselves or their life. Often such a one will replace the reality they are unwilling to face with a deception they find easier and more comfortable to deal with. As I said before, after one has used this sort of self-deception for a period of time, they may well allow it to develop into a delusion. Once a delusion is accepted as reality, its creator will tend to rule out anything that supports the existence of any reality that disagrees.

An aspect of pride that certainly must be discussed is that that seeks to use magic or magick, of whatever type. None of these are any different from the others. All are negative by virtue of the fact that they all promote the ego trying to control natural laws or forces and to subject those to the individual's will. Because of this basic fact, all forms of magic are not only pursued by the pride's desire for power, but each will bring a return based on what it truthfully is, the true motivation for its attempt. None are the magicians that are able to practice it and come to then end of their life and be free of having to pay a karmic price. For this reason so called white magic does not truthfully exist. All states of magic are well within the dichotomy of the lower planes and have no ability to go beyond those limits.

Often, as one's pride draws them into seeking after the power of magic, the individual is given a degree of success with it, which serves to reinforce their belief in its existence. But this proof of the belief is always a trap that one cannot so easily be free from. This demonstrates very clearly the quote from the Bible given in the first paragraph. Nearly always does pride goeth before a fall. So it is with magic and also with any desire for power, which in these worlds of duality can be said to be at war with the principle of love. Love is transcendent, origination in its full state beyond duality, beyond emotion and beyond mind. Power on the other hand is a desire that arises only in the lower states, and the power that the ego is able to encompass is a thing of the Universal Mind, or what Eckankar calls Kal Niranjan, the negative pole. Pride is its favorite thing, as it endlessly serves as the predominant tool it has in its arsenal to be used against incarnated Souls for the purpose of keeping them trapped in the lower states and lower planes.

Pride is often misunderstood by many religions and metaphysical groups. Often are made claims that we are God in subjective form, interacting with other individuals that are merely one and the same being. This is not true, but it is taken as such because it is a thing the mind can easily understand, so it seems to be a very deep truth and many will jump upon it and claim it is a mystical truth, when in fact to any that have the experience of Self-Realization it is obviously not the same thing. We are all the same in a general sense, meaning that we are all Soul, a Divine Spark, but we are not the same Divine Spark. We are of One, but we ourselves are not that One. Soul is an Individual, and each has likes and dislikes that are not necessarily the same as all other self-aware Souls. But each recognizes that all other Souls are indeed from the same Source and are made of the same components by the Eternal. This is the only accurate definition for the phrase "We are One". Soul does not ever become one with God, nor does it cease to exist for having melded into God. Instead it thenceforth carries the awareness of that realization of reality and its principles. It can be said, as in the way used by some Sufi groups, that we each have a higher and a lower ego, meaning the lower self that is aware in the lower states, and the Self-Realized Soul that is aware of Itself.

Pride, when used as a motivation for thoughts, words, or actions, will always create karma for that individual. This is the result of taking an action due to the expected reward for that action. Karma is often very much intertwined with the use of pride, which causes the individual to revisit those same choices, often in the opposite place as they were when they committed the offense. Then the individual has the opportunity to learn the lesson so as to never commit it again. And that is the rub, as each time the act is re-committed, the karmic price becomes heavier and strikes in an ever more powerful way, and this will happen regardless of an individual's belief or lack thereof in karma. In each case the pride makes a choice, and that choice amounts to an individual deciding that they want to learn a particular lesson in a more harsh way.

Most are not aware that there is a difference between individuality and pride. The distinction is a very important one. Soul, being the consummate individual, has no difficulty performing selfless actions or bringing the physical self learning opportunities that that physical individual might consider more harsh than is necessary. The lower mental and emotional selves are far more self-consumed by constantly serving their own desires and trying to avoid the situations they see as being harsh or painful, regardless of how beneficial the experience might be on the larger scale of things. The Soul will sacrifice Its comfort for the sake of the learning experience, knowing full well that the situation will be one that expands Its awareness and thereby Its consciousness within the physical body. The ego will always avoid such things at any cost, refusing to sacrifice its comfort due to the attachments to its perceived egoic benefit.

Individuality is not necessarily a bad thing, as long as it is not going so far as to invade another's personal space or will. We have a right to our sense of individuality, but we do not ever want to force anyone to accept it, as every individual has the right to choose what they will or will not accept. But in a likewise manner, we do not have to allow another to destroy that sense of individuality. Always look for the point of balance, it is always there in every situation, although at times finding that can in itself be a major lesson.

One particular problem that often arises due to pride is the blaming of others for choices we have made for ourselves. The ego often skews perceptions to the point that a person will blame another for causing what they deem to be a negative situation, but always it is the result of a choice made earlier on. The fact that they didn't realize it at that time changes nothing. This is called learning. The harder the lesson learned, the less likely a person is to ever forget it, and the more likely they are to amend their thoughts and their ways. After a number of self-created situations the individual tends to develop an ability to look ahead at the possible outcomes of any choice they make, before they actually move forward in that direction. This makes it possible to avoid making choices that will stand in the way of one's spiritual development. In Eckankar we call this Viveka, or Right Discrimination, the ability to discern what choices will stand in the way of Soul's unfoldment.

Pride is always a terrible master, as are the emotions. This is one reason that a spiritual path might tell its members about the need to surrender their will to that of God, or to the Spirit, and allow It to lead the way. This not only subdues the ego to the control of God, but also puts into place the mechanism that can propel the individual up the spiritual "ladder" in the most direct way possible. Learning this principle is the primary reason that one must achieve Self-Realization and eventually God-Realization by working their way from the lowest, most basic state of consciousness up to the the heights of awareness where that Soul becomes a Master and a pure servant of God, as well as a pure channel that this Primary Divine Will can work through directly to reach the lower planes.

Another topic that belongs in this discussion is spiritual aggression versus spiritual assertion. The two are not even remotely the same thing, although it is easy enough to confuse them. In the average human it is a dichotomy that one will go through time and time again, so becoming familiar with both states and the reasons they are used is very necessary. Both are born of the use of pride, however, the way in which it is used along with the motivation for the use of either are the primary ways of recognizing which is which. Spiritual aggression is a negative usage of pride, always seeking to overcome by force that which it opposes. Whether the motivation is born of a lack of self-worth, or comes from the incessant need to be right, or to not have one's belief system challenged, the results are the same. More karma. Regardless of the motivation, this is still an attempt to gain power over others, whether it is given freely or not, and is therefore a motivation that is found to be egoic and of no spiritual value.

If one realizes that they have been doing this, it is worthwhile to be fully honest with one's self and to seek out the perceived benefit one expected to gain from this action. Only after it has been identified, can that need or desire be seen, identified, recognized, controlled and finally be conquered. Spiritual teachers of all sorts can easily recognize this when it takes place, and they will always attempt to guide the chela or student through the experience in such a way that it can be resolved and learned from, whether the teacher be a Rishi, a Mahatma, a Guru, a Sant, a Shaman, a Lama, a Soami, a Māwlāwi, a Murshid or the Living ECK Master, just to name a few. To arrive at any of these stations, one must first themselves attain that state beyond duality and the lower pride, and ever after to guide and teach others to attain it for themselves. After reaching the point of Sainthood, one has merely reached the actual starting line. The highest states of consciousness still lie ahead of such a one. For the reason of making that detail clear, Eckankar states that one must arrive at the twelfth initiation to begin consciously working with the Sugmad. The subduing of the ego is a thing that none can ignore if they want to attain any of the higher states of consciousness.

Spiritual assertion is another thing entirely, one that involves the pride also, but is motivated by a different set of goals, one of which is called self-control or renunciation of a negative quality that is to be overcome. While controlling one's base mental and emotional aspects is required and does require a large amount of work in most cases, there can also be a time when one must be strong in their convictions so as to not be swept off of the path they have chosen, and regardless of the path, there will always come a time when one is forced to face some less than desired circumstances. The term assertion often implies that no proof is given to the claim, the assertion, and this is why i use the term in regards to spirituality, as often the spiritual benefit or lack thereof of any path is a thing that can be experienced by the individual alone, but that can never realistically be proven to another.

When one comes across individuals that disagree with one's chosen path, those individuals may often become very attached to the idea of debunking said path. While in some cases this can be a necessary thing, it is also by its very nature not a thing that can generally be spread across a great number of situations, as the individual experiences some have gained on that path simply cannot be debunked. This does not necessarily make any claimant a liar either, things can go either way in a given situation, especially with the status of spiritual experience and or knowledge being highly subjective. Some will consider said path to be a Godsend, while others will consider it a falsity. To each their own. Everyone is at a different level of spiritual knowledge and experience from every other person that coexists on the planet, so this disparity is to be expected and is perfectly normal, beside the fact that it also creates no small amount of potential excitement due to the varying debates that one will eventually come across. This provides further opportunities for spiritual growth.

When one's experiences are challenged, it may become necessary to utilize a form of spiritual assertion as a way of giving others their space to pursue the spiritual states and religions they are interested in, while at the same time ensuring yourself that same opportunity. This is one case where the use of pride's strength is not a bad thing or one that serves no good purpose. While one should never throw around their spiritual experiences or beliefs to land them upon those who were not looking for that information, one certainly can retain their spiritual assertion in the face of the challenges presented by those who might oppose the path you have chosen. This is a positive way of remaining balanced, upon your center, while deflecting or not allowing the statements of others to influence you and cause you to lose that balanced and peaceful state. This can be very challenging and by its nature it has to be, as this is the sort of experience that helps the individual to realize that they have a right to a choice of their own, and being able to defend one's self, for lack of a better term, in the face of challenge or insults made upon your path, or the leader of and others within that path, or any other such factor that it is not necessarily your business to make comment upon.

Regardless of the situation one finds themselves dealing with due to pride, it is a constant necessity to observe the situation and being able to honestly discern who was at fault and what courses of action if any, are worthy of pursuit. There are no small number of factors and spiritual tenets that must be considered. Also there must always be an earnest ability to admit fault to one's self if that is a factor. When it is, the swallowing of the pride is a necessity, and subduing that egoic tendency is a victory worth achieving. But even as one victory is earned, one must never allow the attention to lapse or in the very next heartbeat they will return to the habitual way of the negative pride. One must be aware of their own motivations and be able to remain detached enough to judge them accurately, even if this displays an ugly truth about the self that demands more work. In situations where the fault is that of another, one must realize that not all such situations require a response or an action, or even a word. Self-control is a very necessary skill that the individual must gain experience with before they can approach the states of freedom that it provides.

The best way to combat the harmful effects of pride is to gain experience with the alternate states of being, the primary foe to pride is humility. True humility is so expansive that it leaves no room for the pride to occupy except in its higher more selfless form. Other qualities that aid in the overcoming of pride are tolerance for others, forgiveness as well as contentment. These qualities are aspects of love, from differing points and in different scopes, and contentment is the love of self but in a desireless state. One is content with what they have to work with, as well as being contented to deal with the challenges they have to contend with. Each of these states are more distinctions from each other than anything else, and many times these differences are quite subtle, which is but one more condition that allows each individual the opportunity to learn what is needed and in the way they need to learn those things. These are the lower world conditions that each needs to climb up through the hard way until they have achieved not only that first glance from that state of consciousness, but the full surrender to that higher state of being, so that it can continue to develop and grow in the individual. As one climbs the steps of this journey, they discover ever newer and greater states as they become as like unto a Saint, not only in words, but more importantly in action, demonstrating the ability to live from the state beyond duality and beyond the mind.

Then the journey continues through ever greater states and always expanding until the first stages of God-Realization are reached. Even then the journey has not yet finished, that Soul must work Its way further up and further in through ever more refined states of God-Awareness before they can be said to be actually God-Realized. God-Realization is also a state that is eternally in flux, ever expanding and ever changing from the twelfth initiation in Eckankar up through the fourteenth, at which point that Soul has become the Mahanta Consciousness embodied on earth, the Living ECK Master. This is a state quite far beyond those lower states where pride is always having to be dealt with, but each will one day approach these highest states only to serve the still incarnated Souls on earth. By this point the individual is now the exact opposite of what they had been earlier on, only concerned with their own lives and the conditions therein. At this point one serves all of Life, and every action taken is the greatest gift of love, even if that is not immediately apparent.