The generally understood reason for folks not wanting to find Jesus is that you would have to give up your own sovereignty first.
Try starting over. Jesus is not going to provide you the kind of proof you are seeking. He is simply standing outside your door and knocking. You can choose to open the door or you can keep demanding he show you more forms of ID. :o)
I don't think most people would mind giving up their sovereignty if it meant eternal life. The ''atheists just don't want to be saved'' explanation is what they give you at church, but it's completely incorrect. Many have tried opening the door.