_{Source: Pexels, modified}

Kartini Nurbaya was a tough woman. She was a single mother. She never complained about the tough life she had to live. She was very rational and it was hard to see her shed tears.

Kartini worked as a music journalist for Actus magazine. She often wrote reviews for indie music albums. According to her, indie music was a breakout force from mainstream music. "Major label does not need to be discussed anymore. They already have big capital and wide distribution networks. However, they do not contribute much to the development of music. Indie musicians do it," she said.

Kartini Nurbaya was my mother. She had been taking care of me alone since I was seven years old.

Now I was face to face with her in the living room. She knew I was shocked when I found out that this house was for sale. This was my grandfather's house, where my mother was born and raised. When grandfather died, mother inherited this house. I couldn't stop thinking, did she have the heart to let go of this house full of memories?

"Iwan, come sit here," she invited me to sit on the sofa next to her.

The table was filled with books and articles on rock music. Mom was probably writing something about rock music. Sehe pushed the objects over the edge of the table and piled up blocknotes, pens and pencils.

Reluctantly I sat down.

"I know you may be disappointed but I have to decide on this," he said.

Mother told me that the debt was due. The debt was large and could no longer be paid in installments with her salary. The Covid-19 pandemic also made condition worse because her salary was cut because business was sluggish. He was still grateful that she wasn't fired from her office. Her financial condition was getting harder, so she was forced to let go of this house.

I was confused how to react. I was clearly disappointed by the decision but also realized that there was no alternative but to sell the house. Mother had no other assets to sale in a short time.

The popular song House For Sale, sung by the Dutch band Lucifer in 1975, was ringing back in my ears:

House for sale
You can read it on the sign
House for sale, it was yours and it was mine
And tomorrow some strangers
Will be climbing up the stairs
To the bedroom filled with memories
The one, we used to share

This song, written by Gloria Sklerov and Harry Lloyd, was sung by Margriet Eshuijs, the main vocalist of Lucifer. House For Sale came out on the A-side on Lucifer's first single along with the song My Dream World which was written by Eshuijs on the B-side. The single was titled Alarm Disc and came in at number 4 in the Top 40 and the highest rating in the National Hit Parade. The song appeared again on the album As We Are (1975). (Source: Wikipedia)

My eyes were wandering. All my plans and hopes now suddenly collapsed. The future seemed to be dark. What should I do now?

To be continued...

_{Source: cottonbro from Pixabay}

Mimpi Menjadi Bintang (Bagian 15): Keputusan yang Sulit

Kartini Nurbaya adalah perempuan yang tangguh. Dia ibu tunggal. Dia tak pernah mengeluh terhadap kehidupan berat yang harus dia jalani. Dia sangat rasional dan sulit melihat dia meneteskan air mata.

Kartini bekerja sebagai wartawan musik di majalah Actus. Dia sering menulis resensi album-album musik indie. Menurutnya, musik indie adalah daya dobrak dari kemacetan musik arus utama. "Musik label besar tak perlu lagi dibahas. Mereka sudah punya modal yang kuat dan jaringan distribusi luar. Tapi, mereka tak banyak menyumbang dalam pekembangan musik. Musisi indie-lah yang melakukannya," kata dia.

Kartini Nurbaya adalah ibuku. Dia merawatku sendirian sejak aku usia tujuh tahun.

Kini aku berhadap-hadapan dengannya di ruang tamu. Dia tahu aku kaget ketika mengetahui bahwa rumah ini akan dijual. Ini rumah kakek, tempat ibu dulu lahir dan dibesarkan. Ketika kakek meninggal, ibu mewarisi rumah ini. Aku tak habis pikir, apakah ibu tega melepas rumah yang penuh kenangan ini?

"Iwan, ayo duduk di sini," dia mangajakku duduk di sofa di sebelahnya.

Meja itu penuh dengan berbagai buku dan artikel musik rock. Ibu mungkin sedang menulis sesuatu tentang musik rock. Dia mendorong benda-benda itu ke tepi meja dan menumpuk blocknote, pena, dan pensil.

Dengan enggan aku duduk.

"Aku tahu kamu mungkin kecewa tapi aku harus memutuskan hal ini," katanya.

Ibu bercerita bahwa utangnya telah jatuh tempo. Utang itu besar dan tak mampu lagi dicicil dengan gajinya. Pandemi Covid-19 juga memperberat keadaan karena gajinya dipotong karena bisnis sedang lesu. Dia masih bersyukur karena tidak dipecat dari kantornya. Kondisi keuangannya semakin berat sehingga dia terpaksa harus melepas rumah ini.

Aku bingung harus bereaksi seperti apa. Aku jelas kecewa atas keputusan itu tapi juga menyadari bahwa tak ada alternatif selain menjual rumah ini. Ibu tak punya aset lain untuk dilepas dalam waktu singkat.

Lagu populer House For Sale yang dinyanyikan band Belanda Lucifer pada 1975 kembali terngiang di telingaku:

House for sale
You can read it on the sign
House for sale, it was yours and it was mine
And tomorrow some strangers
Will be climbing up the stairs
To the bedroom filled with memories
The one, we used to share

Lagu ciptaan Gloria Sklerov dan Harry Lloyd itu dulu dinyanyikan Margriet Eshuijs, vokalis utama Lucifer. House For Sale keluar di sisi-A pada single pertama Lucifer bersama lagu My Dream World yang ditulis oleh Eshuijs di sisi-B. Single ini diberi judul Alarm Disc dam masuk di posisi 4 di Top 40 dan rating tertinggi di National Hit Parade. Lagu itu kembali muncul di album As We Are (1975). (Sumber: Wikipedia)

Mataku menerawang. Berbagai rencana dan harapan yang tadi tampak begitu sekarang tiba-tiba runtuh. Masa depan seakan menjadi gelap. Apa yang harus kulakukan sekarang?

Bersambung...

_{Source: Pixabay, modified}

I am a writer, blogger, and photographer. I hope you like my work. Please vote and reblog this post and follow @blogiwank if you support me.

Dream to be A Star (Part 15): Hard Decision

Mimpi Menjadi Bintang (Bagian 15): Keputusan yang Sulit