Hey Guys,
I just woke up and am chilling on my couch this Saturday morning - and decided to try my hand at @anomadsoul's free-write challenge. As most of you know - I am planning to attend Steemfest this year in Poland. @anomadsoul put out a fun "free-write" initiative to the attendees of Steemfest so that we can better get to know each other. For those who don't know, a free-write is where you just put all your thoughts down - without judgement - and without regard to spelling/grammar etc.
Writing in this way is actually super out of my comfort zone! I usually put a lot of work into making sure my posts feel fresh, organized, and attractive - but I think this will be a good challenge for me. Honestly, I love free-writing - but it is usually with a pen and paper while I reflect and just let my thoughts out. These written ramblings often make no sense and are even filled with little drawings. I love it though. It almost just makes me feel like i'm a channel for whatever creative energy needs to flow though me. I actually had an awesome session like that yesterday where I just sat in the sun and let all my emotions out on paper.
I know that I'm feeling a range of different thoughts and emotions when it comes to Steemfest - so we will see what comes out. Here is my free-write.
The Road To Steemfest Free-Write
Sorry @anomadsoul... I had to put in at least ONE header.... hahaha
Here goes...
I feel like I need to let out the fears, concerns, worries, anxieties before I can get to the stuff I am really excited about. It's hard to tap into those good vibes and higher energies when there is muddiness. My concerns are as follows.... Money - it's really expensive for me to get to Poland, but I have to remind myself that it is more of an investment than an expense. Solo travel... I have never, ever - one more time? EVER traveled solo and even though I have been wanting to buck my comfort zone and try this... I didn't think my first solo travel would end up being internationally.
Speaking of that... this will be my first time in Europe. I guess i'm just feeling the nervousness of things going wrong, or getting lost. I have to trust myself that i'll be able to handle any situation that comes up. It's not a nervousness that will stop me from taking action and going. It's the kind of nervousness that I feel when I'm bucking a comfort zone. It's uncomfortable... but I'll grow so much from it and next time it will be easier.
A lot of people don't know this about me...but I have a lot of anxieties. I've worked hard to work through them...but i'm cautious... I'm scared a lot. I need people around me to push me to stare those anxieties in the face and push through my fear. I've come so far. I dance all over things that used to scare me - but I still find new boundaries and limitations ALL.THE.TIME. that i have to push through. Some people are so fearless... I admire that about them so much. Maybe it's a mindset shift that I need to make - but I've learned to not judge my anxieties. I just let myself feel them FULLY and move forward. Action is the opposite of anxiety.
I know this has ended up getting really personal. I haven't had a chance to read anyone else's free-writes yet. I wanted to get mine on paper first before looking at others. Many are probably filled with joyous excitement... and I am too...but I have to let the worries flow through me first.
Ps.... @anomadsoul... I've fixed a couple typos already... I had to. lol
Now can I just say how FREAKING excited I am too meeeeet people! Wowowowow. When I attended the Creators Conference in Vegas, I wasn't sure how it would feel to walk into a room of people that you FEEL like you know from Steemit... and let me tell you... I felt like we were all BEST friends within moments! The connections we make here on steemit feel soooo real and translate over to in person interactions seamlessly. That is why I love this place. I love this place, I love this place. I've made friends with so many smart, creative, intelligent, forward thinking, generous, kind souls and they are the types of bonds that you can't find anywhere else. We are all on the cutting edge of this new world - a new way of being and living - that the bond I feel with you all is strong.
The funny thing is, I am going to the Toronto conference in a few weeks and don't feel any of those worries because I know many of the people there - but those feelings ARE coming up for me around Steemfest! Maybe because it's so big... there's so many people. Who will be my "buddy"? Is that weird thought? When you have a travel partner, it's almost like having a wingman. Travel feels less stressful because you are in it with someone else and problems just become adventures.... and when you are at an event - you can go your own way - but you always have a "home base". Always a buddy to fall back on if you need. I sooooo wish my sister @maryjaney could come! - but ya know... money. They just bought a house and got engaged!
She DID just let me know that she can come to Toronto though! I am soooooo excited! We literally make the perfect travel buddies because we like doing a lot of the same things and spending our time in similar ways. I can't tell you how lucky I feel to have a sister that is also my best friend in the whole world. Now, you might be thinking back to the comment I just made about moneeyyz. See, we have an arrangement where I'll pay for all the big expenses (flight, hotel) and she can pay me back in STEEM!
I love, love, love, this. I'll just keep her half of the Steem Sister Show earnings for while and she can transfer me any SBD she gets from post payouts. (she doesn't have a lot of time to post right now...but plans to start posting more soon). These kinds of moments are one more reason why I'm in love with Steem. If my sister had to pay with fiat - there is NO way she'd be able to join me in Toronto. The fact that I can offer to pick up the fiat expense and she can pay for an entire trip to Toronto - simply by making content??? - it blows my mind. This is just one small way where Steem is changing lives. It's afforded me a super fun trip with my sister.
Wish I could offer her that for Steemfest... but the flights are a wee bit more expensive! Besides, I'm not sure if she can take that much time off work. She just became a manager and they are working that poor girl to the BONE.
Ok... back to Steemfest.
There are so many people that I am excited to meet. People that i've gotten to know and interacted with... people that I have a great deal of respect for... people that amaze me with the things they are putting out into the world. I look forward to lots of laughter, great conversation, and some crazy shenanigans. I'm also really excited to learn from the best. I can't wait to hear everyone's talks and see what people share. It's going to be an incredible incubator of knowledge.
Ok... I'm feeling like I'm at the end of my strain of thoughts and emotions for now. This has actually ended up being MUCH more vulnerable than I thought it would be when I sat down to write this - but it's what needed to come out. I honestly think any time there is a pent up emotion or worry - just talking about it and bringing it to light is the best way to disipate it and start moving through it . I already feel lighter after writing this.
Thanks @anomadsoul for this free-write challenge. Now that I've written mine - i'm excited to go read everyone else's and get to know other attendees on a deeper level.
Ps guys... I'm not even reading this before I hit post. That scares the sheeeet out of me - but the point is not to judge what comes out and If i go back and read it - i'll start editing and fixing sentances ... maybe even take out some of the more vulnerable points and I don't want to do that.
Thanks for reading. Love you guys. <3
First travels to Europe, and it's going to be a solo mission - how exciting huh?!
On top of your anxieties, I think it's only natural to have some feelings of concern for the trip, but I am sure (speaking from experience) that they will quickly fade away once you arrive and get chatting to those familiar faces.
The 'advantage' you, and other vloggers have, is that we will all recognize you, and so you wont be stuck for people saying 'hello Kate(cate?)'. I arrived in Lisbon last year as a minnow, who hadn't done a single vlog, with a ridiculous account name :)
You'll be reet (alright), as they say in my home town :D
p.s. are you sure you didn't spell-check, I just pasted your blog into Word and cant see a single error! :P
Thanks for the thoughtful reply @abh12345. I think you are right that my anxieties will fade pretty quickly once i'm there. :)
Good point on the facial recognition too - It makes things easier! Your account name isn't toooo crazy. hahah But i see what you mean. Speaking of usernames... my name is Lea, but everyone things my name is Cate. haha I'm sure i'll be explaining that a lot at Steemfest.
As for spell-checking - I'm impressed that there weren't ANY! wow. I did fix a few words - but not many. I don't know if you saw this line...but I totally fessed up to that in the post.
haha those red squiggly lines under the word were bugging me! ;)
Anyway, i'm SUPER excited to get to meet you in Poland! This is going to be such a cool experience.
I will try to remember your name is Lea - it's tougher to adjust when the username contains a name I think!
Yes I saw your confession, it read 'a couple' - i didn't know that meant 'all' haha :D
I'm sure SF 3 in Poland will be awesome - now, where are my winter clothes again!?
gosh I have ZERO winter clothes. Legit problem/question
It sure is, it's been flip-flops and shorts for 3 months now 😎
And for you I assume it's always somewhere between warm and boiling. I might have to go to England first to buy some cheap stuff.
Same! I have no close-toed shoes, just flip-flops. And yep, warm and boiling is accurate!! I never thought of England as a place to buy cheap stuff, but then again I don't really know any better.
We'll just show her the steemian way. Let's just hope she doesn't get scared.
I'm scared, of freezing my ass off!
haha @abh12345 I'm laughing at the last part of your comment... you just can't help but analyze things, can you? :P
Sad isn't it!
lol no I love it
☺️
I did my first free-write ever for #roadtosteemfest. It was a bit scary because as I progressed into it, things started to get personal. Okay, not exactly personal, but it started with sharing of opinions that I would have edited out, had it not been a free-write. I knew after a couple of minutes that I was going to keep it short because if it went on, I would start sharing stuff that I'd rather not. At least not until my Steemit account is a bit older.
I am actually a bit jealous of how good your free-write is :-)
The 'no-editing' policy is a dual edged sword for a writer. On one hand you can't remove unrelated crap from your post but on the other hand a reader can get a much better insight into who you are........ and isn't that the purpose of this all? It might not seem like much to others, but for a guy who hasn't even shared a personal picture here on Steemit, that is some pressure to handle.
This comment is getting far from the topic............ the thing is that before coming to Poland, I was living in France and when I came here, I couldn't believe how cheap everything was (as compared to other parts of Europe). I am hopeful that people will find Krakow to be much less expensive then they originally thought.
As for travel – Folks who are coming directly to Poland from outside Europe, the chances are that they are going to land in Warsaw. Krakow is like 3 hours from Warsaw and it’s a nice, clean and safe city. It’s actually the cultural heart of Poland. Although it’s the second largest city here but frankly it’s not that big (you can go to a lot places just by walking)
I'll try to go to Krakow in a few weeks to check out some hotels and review them for Steemians here. Hopefully it’ll help people to come up with a much clearer picture of their travel plans.
hhahaha! Me too. I was writing this damn free-write thinking, damn, I shouldn't have said that - Oh well! It's on the blockchain now!
I really look forward to your reviews on the hotels.
lol so many blockchain shame moments for me even AFTER I edit my posts. Sometimes I'll read old ones a few monthts later and be like oh man, why did I say that?! Haha looks like I'm not the only one @princessmewmew! The struggle is real
Yes it is! I wanna stay true to the challenge but I don’t want to write crap!
Oooh i can't wait to go read your free-write! I'm still just so excited that we get to meet in Poland. It's even cooler to me that I'm traveling across the world and already have a friend that is a local. I think your idea to head into Krakow to check out some hotels and review them is brilliant ... like freaking brilliant. I know that I and many other steemians would find that helpful. You could even give tips on awesome restaurants to hit up (especially ones that are within walking distance of the event)... Maybe do a post talking about the BEST places to get perogies ... The possibilities of content are endless for you!! :)
Cool to hear that Krakow is the cultural heart of Poland... that sounds amazing and I can't wait to explore the city.
I think free-writing is a really cool way to glimpse into someone's mind. Usually when we write - we just see the more edited and polished thoughts. With free-writing, you get to glimpse the imbetween moments that string all these different thoughts and ideas together. It's a pretty intimate experience to witness that for someone else because everyone's brains and how they work are sooo different. Super fascinating.
"but it started with sharing of opinions that I would have edited out, had it not been a free-write. " <-- at least you were honest. I'll have to read that.
That would be so awesome of you to check out hotels in Krakow if you could! Although I always just pick something random and wing it haha. So far its worked out
That's a HELL of an awesome freewrite!!! I applaud you. It's hard to be vulnerable and you did it. Be proud <3
Yes, it's scary, and yes it's more scare if you are anxious at times, and YES it's a first time solo travel but DAMN will you grow.
I've done a lot of solo traveling and you know what? The decisions you make are all yours and all that happens because of you and it's so liberating to be the center of your own life for a few days or a week or...
Let me tell you: I live in Europe, I'll go to SteemFest, and we can exchange phone numbers so you can send me a message or even phone call when you feel lost for a moment. I'll know how to help you or where to find a person who can help you :-)
I'll be your wing-woman in a phone call away sort of fashion, and maybe even knowing I'm on the other end of the line will make things less scary :-)
I did my first freewrite ever yesterday as well, and I broke a lot of rules (headers and fixed a few typos today, couldn't look at them anymore!), but we're learning on the go. Can't wait to read more from you, you're a beautiful person and I'll love meeting you in Krakow :-)
@soyrosa Yes, yes, yes to everything in this comment!! You are so kind to offer me your phone number so I can call if you if I get lost or scared. I feel so much closer to you already just from your generousity and kindness! <3
We should totally exchange numbers as things get closer! I'll be getting a local sim card I think so that I can use my phone and data in Europe.
I can't wait to go read your freewrite too! I think going back to fix typos is part of the creative expression for you. If it's bugging you - you should fix it and I don't think there's anything wrong with that! Freewriting isn't supposed to have rules right? So who says you can't fix em! ;)
Ah I am soooo excited to meet you in Poland. <3
Yay! We'll be in touch before that time for sure - a local SIM card sounds like a great idea, no need to inconvenience yourself while being in Poland for a few days at least :-)
Thanks for your reply, it made me smile! :D I'm excited to meet you too! <3
Now this is a freewrite. It's great to get to know you in a personal level :)
Keep writing these, I think we got to know more of you in this post than in 10 videos, that's the magic within free writing.
aww thank you Eric. Thanks for the push to write this too. I pretty much exclusively make video content and I'm starting to think that free-writes like this may be a cool way to share. You really see deeper into someones soul when it's unedited and free flow. <3
Can't believe we finally get to meet in Poland! This is going to be so fun.
"I already feel lighter after writing this."
And so you should. That was the most personal, moving, likeable, relatable thing I've read in ages!
The truth will set you free. :)
awww @rodnesreviews you have no idea how much your comment just made my day.
This literally made my whole soul SMILE. Thanks for making me feel seen/appreciated. You are awesome. <3
Are you thinking of going to Steemfest?
Aww thanks. I'm glad. I freewrote the comment cos it was so moving to read something straight from the heart.
Vulnerability is underestimated. Almost everybody secretly feels that way, and almost nobody admits it. I was tearing up reading it lol.
Commitments and being in debt make Steemfest this year super unlikely, but at worst, I can follow the exploits of everyone there on dTube and dLive! :)
You know i'll be making all sorts of crazy content for Dtube and Dlive! hehe Totally get not being able to make it this year. Maybe next year! I'm rooting for something on this side of the world... hehe
I think Mexico could be cool. Beautiful, warm, and pretty inexpensive once you get there. We'll see what happens though. :)
Damnnn can you believe I finish reading this and I found it enjoyable! I did scroll up a bit to see and holyyyy I REALLY DID finish reading the whole thing. (I'm more of a watch type of person) I was actually not too sure about free-writing. I just also posted mine a bit ago and after reading yours, I'm thinking..'was mine free-writing..???' LLOLOLOLOL Too bad your sis couldn't come with you! Would love to meet you both. Congrats to her tho for the new house and engagement! I'm applying for the visa soonish once I get back to Thailand..
Now that's when it gets a bit ironic :"P
xoxo
hahah I totally noticed that I misspelled the word "sentences" and it was just too funny to change. Hilarious that you noticed that! :)
I will definitely go read your free-write!! I think doing these more regularly as we build up to Steemfest could be really fun and a a cool way to feel the vibe and energy of how everyone is feeling!
I am soooo excited that we get to meet!! aah!!! We should make some fun little video together! Maybe we can go on one of your awesome food adventures in search of perogies or something. :)
I'm so looking forward to meeting you too! and yes, fun vids together would be so cool ! I like the concept of free-writing.. This is actually my first time doing it and I just found this cool website.. https://www.themostdangerouswritingapp.com/ while reading @elizacheng's roadtosteemfest post.. next time this would be super challenging!
Till next post ❤️
This is great @coruscate!! I love this :) I have to be honest lol i clicked on your picture like 7 times before I realize this WASNT A DTUBE VIDEO. Awesome open writing and thanks for sharing this part of yourself with us !
hahah right?? No video? This was definitely a little different content for me. Kinda fun though. I might do more of these Steemfest freewrite's leading up to the event!
Still trying to click it!!
This was great! I totally feel you about needing to get the anxieties out before you can get to the lighter emotions :) I love the vulnerability. I won’t be making this steemfest, but would love to get to one in the future. Have a blast! The universe has got your back 💙
aww that last line really made me smile! Thanks so much for your thoughtful encouragement. Maybe we will get to meet at next year's Steemfest! <3
I loved the freewrite! It's so freeing letting it all out. The one header made me laugh! I hope you have a wonderful time in Poland, and a huge adventure even if you don't have a travel buddy!
I'm not sure we've ever met before, but my hubs (@freedompoint) and I will be in Toronto! It's so much fun learning who else is going!
aww i'm so excited to meet you guys!!! I know we haven't chatted much yet here on Steemit - but I saw your hubs post something about your new nomadic life adventures! That's so freaking cool. I followed your new account so I can follow along on all the adventures! My boyfriend and I have thought about getting an RV and traveling around too... maybe in a few years. :)
Yay! Thank you for following it!! I hope you guys get to travel too. I'm really excited!
That’s awesome that you’ll be attending SteemFest. Also, know that it is ok to be vulnerable and let your thoughts just flow out. You allow others to see a side of you that they never knew before. I’m sure as well, many people reading will say...”Yep, that’s how I’m feeling too”. Looking forward to more free writes. Have an incredible weekend Lea. Cheers.
-Ken
Posted using Partiko iOS
aww Thanks Ken. Your right - who knows who else will relate to this and find solace. Thanks for the thoughtful comment. :)
Are you thinking of going to Steemfest? I imagine Poland is a little far with a brand new little baby at home. Either way - i'm excited we get to hang out again in Toronto! :)
Nope, I will not be at SteemFest this time around. But yes, Toronto for sure which is about a 5 hour drive from my home 👍🏻
Posted using Partiko iOS
Cant wait for going on Karaoke with you! Good luck collecing the Money necessary! Bye the way what is the price for the Ticket so far?
aww so cool that we will finally get to meet! Last I looked - flights are at least $1500 USD - so I gotta start getting creative. I might try to find a cheap way to get to a major European hub like London and then hop a budget airline to Krakow.
If you arrive at Berlin, consider me as a help. I live close (Leipzig). I probably go by bus. would be nice for you too as you might see wonderful European landscape.
As far as i remember Steemfest Ticket cost about 333€ last year, so keep that in mind. Tickets are not for sale right now.
Oooh good to know. I wasn't sure how much they would be. That's not too bad - but definitely something to factor into the overall budget of the trip. :)
Thanks for the offer to help too! I'll probably fly into Poland, but that's a fun idea to stop in Germany and take the bus in. :) I bet it would be a beaautiful ride. hmmm!
As i recommended earlier - if you go to warsaw you should take a Day to See city Center and go the birthplace of Marie Curie @museproject #strongwomen
best of luck for steemfest free-writing 🙂courscate
A very useful story, incredible friend.
Hey @coruscate I've DM you in discord, Im looking for sponsorship for byteball airdrop...
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I so look forward to meeting everyone!
You're going to have a blast! Last year I went by myself, and it was also my first-time ever solo-traveling and also my first time in Europe. At first I was bit nervous, but once I started talking about STEEM with people and running into names that I recognized from online interactions (and of course after a couple drinks) the anxiety settled and it was really fun. It was definitely one of the best trips ever. @roelandp and the @firepower crew put on an extravagant event!
See ya in Krakow @coruscate!
You won't be solo-traveling because you are going to be meeting so many friends! You will be surrounded by people when you're there!! So exciting that this is your first "solo travel" though!!!
Since I've done plenty of solo traveling, I already know how this is going to turn out- you're going to love it!
I hope that helps ease some of your anxieties... just some random girl on the internet telling you that you're going to be fine! Afterward I may even be shameless enough to say "I told you so!"
Also, you're a hella good writer. I wish I were half as articulate as you are!
Steemfest2 was the first and (so far) only time i've been on Europe. When I first landed on Lisbon and collected my bags, the only question in mind was "What the hell happened in the past 29 hours?", I was dumbfounded that I wasn't somehow trafficked to some human meat market considering I had no idea what to do throughout my whole 4 leg flights from my small town to Lisbon..
It's exciting, amazing, and scary as hell all at once.. Its exhilarating.
Word of advice though, since you're flying eastward the jetlag is gonna hit you in Poland. Not so when you fly back. Its the other way around for me as I fly westward. Maybe land a day ahead or use the Jetlag-calculator thing from the web?