Don't give up! And if I may suggest, try not to be so angry. My first attempt at a marathon I tore a tendon 3days before--after all that training! Please remember that taper week means TAPER! as in, cool down. I ran a trail marathon a year after.
You are right about music, it does matter, and it does motivate!
For you I would recommend looking into two things for running strategy:
- Jeff Galloway run/walk http://www.jeffgalloway.com/
- Chi Running http://www.active.com/fitness/articles/5-elements-of-chi-running
With the help of these techniques I was able to run that trail marathon, and a 50K early this year! You can do it too.
Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate it. I don't really mean "angry" as destructive anger, or that I am abusing my body mercilessly when I run, but anger as a energy that ejects me from the pit of dwelling on things in an unhealthy and unhelpful manner.
I really look forward to checking out those links.
Thanks!
Good luck on the 50K!!! That is insane!!