My dear friend, I think that you already have priorities. That is your kids and comfort. Love was gone when you started thinking about options. Now it is an arrangement with little joy, you are looking for. I would say that you re not wrong anywhere.
It's our choice and you have made one. Maintain peace and try to bring your charm back for what he fell for, initially. Dialogue is a great weapon which can end wars without spitting blood. Try to talk and engage him in the family. I am sure that you will be able to save your marriage.
You are a beautiful woman and trust me he won't be able to stay away from you long.