The Premeditated Driving Handbook
By J.E.Ola
Welcome Fellow Drivers!
Let me begin this brief reminder by noting that by attempting to rebuff your driving mentality, you are already on the golden road to reshaping America’s crumbling network of concrete and blacktop. It could be said that you are wearing a hardhat, have a skin tone glazed in sun touched bronze, and follow orange cones, wherever they may be found. It is this effort that will determine your worth as a motorist, you are off in the right direction, and for that effort I commend you.
An attempt has been made not to bark hoarse those notions already covered in other manuals. These include, but are not limited to tailgating, yielding, stopping prior to a crosswalk, and other things commonly encountered during daily trips. This handbook is dedicated to the further nuances within these normal frames.
You are in a position of tremendous power, and must respect that power. Your life, and the life of your fellow motorists are in constant peril. As such, these short sections should improve your chances of returning safely home in one piece. Sparing the gruesome imagery, the mundane statistics, and the pedantic barrage of finger pointing and snarls of State Agencies, I hope to uplift your driving spirits, but at the same time open your eyes to possible oversight.
I
Opening Your Eyes
It has been stated, “It’s easier to see the road ahead, when your head isn’t buried in your ass.”
This axiom obviously has larger implications, on many levels, but we take these words literally at present. So many ways to become distracted when behind the wheel! It is imperative that focus be on the impending frontier at all times, despite the immediate desire for a new song to be played from those lovely new dash speakers, but having your CD’s scattered throughout the vehicle in cases not their own. Upon finding the song of your choice it becomes immediately apparent that the skips and cracks are too much to bare and interfere with your most recent phone call, all of which has given more than enough reason for a smoke, and the cigarettes happen to be buried in a cardboard package beneath a layer of cellophane inside a stylish black leather purse which is crowded full of everyday necessities, behind the passenger seat on the floor. Now where did you put that lighter?
How likely is it that full attention will be placed on the dangerous task ahead? Enough implied.
II
Consistency & Consideration
Consistency is a highly underrated trait within today’s average minds. It would seem that the recent appreciation for fame plaguing our moderns has developed into a despicable mutant race that views blatant inconsistency as an avenue to recognition. In a certain social context, this is anything but troublesome, often times entertaining. When this abrasive behavior squirms its noxious way into the fabric of the coordinated clothing that we don to be respectful of those around us, obvious disregard for designed social fluidity ensues.
This social fluidity is best demonstrated in every person’s interpersonal confrontations. This confrontation is most graphically presented when speeding along at a high velocity within a thousand pounds of metal and plastic. It is during this stressful interlocking of pursuits and direction that we must strive to maintain consistency. It is vital that we can count on one another to maintain a driving “persona”, which will in turn allow one to determine to a minimal degree our fellow motorist’s next move.
The easiest way to determine a person’s intelligence is through that person’s demonstrated consideration. It is easily ascertained whether a mistake was a voluntary disregard for another driver, or if inexperience and ignorance was to blame. If you are purposefully jeopardizing the safety and balance of our roadways through egocentric strategies rationalized easily by recognizing the ignorant among us, then you are to blame for our highway problems. The ignorant will eventually succumb to the proper methods if surrounded on all sides by good examples. It is the deviant transgressor of highway law that is deteriorating the consistency of traffic flow.
The answer to this simple activity is patience for our young and inexperienced drivers, while maintaining competency testing for the elders. The perennial ignoramus in between is something that will hopefully wipe itself out with revoked licenses and one-car accidents. All three groups should be subject to more rigorous testing to prevent unnecessary road hazards.
To begin, our elders, who in this generation are the remaining pioneers born of the automation age, and responsible for its success. Even so, past successes do not warrant future driving privilege. Because one has driven for eighty-five years doesn’t give that person the right to “keep trying”. It is important that our elders get to the bank to cash the social security checks, then to the pharmacy to make sure they can live another twenty years, but it is likewise important that the next generation of driver be guaranteed as safe as possible conditions while striving for their own Golden Years.
First and foremost is seeing the road (see section I). If a person’s bone degeneration prevents them from maintaining an erect position in the cockpit, if the last remaining glimmer of vision is just not enough to determine a safe stopping distance, or if the corroded joints are no longer conducive to a significant reaction time, then driving privileges should be withdrawn. Other social services can be set up to care for the errands that must be attended to if a close relative isn’t available or has been disengaged from the inheritance.
As for our beginners, they will make mistakes. With enhanced training these may reduced, but will never be prevented. The same patience we exhibit toward a shoe-chewing puppy as it grows to dog hood, we shall extend to the novice driver. This manual will help to round out the young driver’s education, but there is no substitute for experience. As they develop, we will determine quickly if they are bound for our third category.
What honestly can be said for the perpetually ignorant (see section I)? What area of life do they not inhibit progress and stability? With perpetually ignorant, we do not mean those who draft laws at the expense of our environment and civil rights for their own personal gain, or those who would vote for such a person without regard for any research demonstrating the detrimental nature of their policies. We do not here speak of bigots and their never-ending supply of pseudo-rational arguments that serve only to point at the base of the depraved and foaming hole within them lately since void of a soul. We are certainly not referring to celebrities, who having been given the great blessings of wealth, comfort, and adornment, turning to bath unapologetically in opulence and debauchery forming a vastness of decadence unheard of in the history of humankind. No, here we speak solely of those unconditioned minds reacting to impulses derived from a lifetime of never asking oneself why, for quite long enough. The questions never quite made it all the way to Answer Land. There was never enough diligence or mental vigor to come up with reasons for activity. These activities just were. The reasons were too hard to find, so the perennial ignoramus just gave in to his fate.
Within these people there is little or no malice, as that would require completing a thought. It is hard to become angry with the person who cuts someone off as he drives below the speed limit in the passing lane because he would first have to understand why he was driving in the passing lane to begin with. This of course super-cedes the thought process by assuming one ever knew there was a passing lane to begin with.
As evidence stacks up around us like piles of used tires, it becomes increasingly obvious that proper lane usage must be neglected in our customary driver training classes. There is in fact a proven method for which lane should be used, and for what purpose.
III
Lane Usage
For our current discussion, these statements of obvious fact to some, and revelations to others will be delegated to three or more lane highway driving only. This is where the largest volume of traffic is present, and not coincidently the most congestion. The reason for this congestion is not the sheer volume, as many have been led to believe. To blame our city’s civic engineers is to take the easy way out. We must accurately assess our own skills, with honesty and a willingness to improve.
Let’s start our discussion on lane usage with the entrance to the issue itself, the on-ramp. Merging is a highly underestimated skill that disturbingly few could qualify as experts. The single most commonly overlooked step in the merging process was discussed in detail in the first section. Awareness begins with actually looking forward in time to the impending emergence into the already established flow of traffic. It should be noted that judging the proper entrance point and speed is a developed skill, honed with practicing the correct procedure. One first must be familiar with the speed at which the other vehicles are traveling in order to establish that same velocity. This knowledge is easily accessible at your neighborhood law enforcement offices and is typically referred to as a “speed limit”, or simply by paying attention throughout the first sixteen years of life whenever the opportunity to travel on such a road may arise. By entering the highway at the correct speed, the chances of colliding with another automobile, or even disturbing that lane’s flow through the interjection of an incongruent impediment should be avoided. If the correct velocity is maintained while on the entrance ramp, it is next very simple to determine whether an established vehicle will be struck as a matter of merging. It is then left up to the respective pilots to avoid this through a series of slight speed alterations.
The same process as above constitutes the basis for other necessary changes across the three or more lanes for the duration of the travel period of such a freeway. To begin, leaving the merging lane is preferable to avoid the before-mentioned slight speed alterations. To enter into the travel lane, which is the lane directly to the left of the merge lane, requires the driver to increase velocity to mix with the flow of that lane. If no vehicles are present in that lane at the desired time, then the “speed limit” is acceptable. If this is the desired speed, there is no reason to proceed on to further lanes. An automobile that enters the next, or passing lanes doing only the speed limit is referred to as a “pace car”, and should expect dirty looks, obscene gestures, and an uneasy, guilty feeling similar to urinating in the bed.
A passing lane does exist. This lane becomes, by default, the furthest to the left. In countries other than the U.S. and Canada, I’ve not traveled on any roads with more than two lanes, so I’m not sure how this converts. However, in the West the progression of lane usage delegates the far left as the passing lane. This lane is often mistaken for just another travel lane. The majority of unfriendly gazes fall upon the “pace car” drivers that make the uninformed or just plain lazy decision to continue on in the passing lane because it’s easier although the pass has been completed. Inevitably some other vehicle will be traveling at a faster velocity, catch up, and want to pass. This is usually not a very big deal if traffic is light and another lane is available in which to do so. All too many times this “pace car” is moving at the same speed as other parallel cars, thereby creating an web of plastic and steel that catch inflamed emotional responses from other drivers that actually have somewhere to go and are aware that there is such a thing as the passing lane by which to hasten the journey.
It is these vehicle webs that create clusters within the flow of traffic that are commonly referred to as “jams.” With proper lane usage, starting with merging at the correct speed and place, and continuing on through to the recognition and proper treatment of the passing lane, ninety percent of all “jams” can be avoided. The other ten percent belong to temporary lane closures.
Temporary lane closures wear different colors, but are usually red and white, or orange. These generally come as a surprise to the oncoming motorist, but with sufficient warnings such as big orange signs or flashing lights. As a general rule construction lane closures warn several miles beforehand to discontinue in a particular lane, and many accidents have flares. The longer drivers wait to exit the lane in question, the better the chance that when the lane is no longer available there will be less room to merge. The problem then becomes one of lane usage, and we all know from above what this entails and what outcome we can expect. The correct reaction to lane closure warning signs is to take immediate steps in one’s deliverance from that lane, while maintaining the flow that is being enjoyed in the lane being entered. Sometimes this means passing will not be available for a time. This is an unfortunate but unavoidable circumstance.
Now that we’ve established the groundwork for lane usage, details concerning general travel can be discussed.
IV
Aggressive Driving
Defensive Driving is an oxymoron. Driving is an aggressive action. To propel oneself onward is aggressive. It is the contention of this supplement that the driver must maintain a truthful relationship with the task itself. There is such a sentiment as too polite.
To let fellow drivers avoid established traffic rules is to contribute to the decline of the order we need to maintain safety on our roads. To wave on another driver when they do not have the “right of way” is to decline a charge given forth by the decades of trial and error, practice and failure, and to dismiss the order necessary to survive our travels. The repercussions echo as an invisible specter throughout the remaining days of driving of every motorist involved.
At a four way stop, the driver to the right goes first. Always. If such a person declines this right, waving on the fellow driver as another vehicle enters the intersection, order is now lost. It may fall upon the “first to the intersection” rule, but if the newly entering driver recognizes the fact that the previous driver has relinquished the right of way, there is no reason to believe that that driver is not a perpetual offender. He may now go, or may not. This driver’s consistency and ability to follow simple rules is in question.
In a situation where vehicles are entering the flow of traffic from a stopped position and into a line of automobiles that are also stopped, every other vehicle has the right of way. It is the tendency for some to be the “nice guy” and let more than one vehicle enter the flow of traffic as space permits. This signifies to fellow drivers to the rear that these newly arrived motorists from the side deserve preference to those behind. While it may seem to be a nice gesture to those with which one must contact face to face (albeit encased in steel and glass), this action in effect will require another driver to spend extra time in that vehicle and possibly arrive at the intended destination only moments too late, because that person was unfortunate enough to end up behind a driver that has no appreciation for them not in a position to offer thanks for the easily given generosity. Eye contact should not determine right of way.
Now that everyone has successfully entered the flow of traffic, we must discuss exiting. We have before us a semantic task to perform. We must discontinue the use of the word “blinker”, when referring to a “turn indicator.” It would appear the relevance of the term “indicator” has been lost due to the replacement term based solely on its empirical value. The sole purpose of this device is to identify which direction a person is planning to travel. It is not to “flick on” when paranoia induces visions of financial repercussions in court. When a turn indicator is used properly, other drivers can alter their vehicle’s movement appropriately and may then avoid over-use of braking mechanisms and being pinned into a lane not favorable to the journey.
There is no occasion in which a turn indicator should be used after the brakes. To avoid the above-mentioned predicaments the turn indicator first must signify a driver’s intention, and then after the brake lights coming on should be expected. When they are enacted in the reverse, the turn indicator is worse than useless, it is an insult. It betrays the fact that this particular driver has little or no consideration for the fellow motorist. “Flicking the blinker on” is only an after thought, second to this person’s egotism and a desire to be thought of as always knowing precisely what to do at all times. If a driver is not familiar with a street’s exact location, a turn indicator will alert other drivers to this fact and give these people enough time to alter their paths to avoid delay.
On occasion a turn lane is available. This is a lane designated for slowing to a proper speed in which to turn. The speed at which to turn does not have to be achieved before reaching this lane. This behavior defeats the purpose of the lane itself and subjects other drivers to a speed at which they need not be traveling. For this situation a driver must first turn on the indicator to alert others to a motivation. Next move into the turn lane, then slow the vehicle, and at last make the turn.
These simple standards have been proven to provide a successful formula for driving, and are easy to follow. However not everyone is happy with a simple set of rules.
V
Creating Criminality
A political scourge has brought criminal implications to otherwise responsible drivers. Mother’s Against Drunk Driving (M.A.D.D. as they’d have us know) has brought a war to the doorstep of responsible drinking adults. It is war against recreation fought with a checkbook, against checkbooks everywhere.
There is an unproven theory that operating an automobile with a certain blood-alcohol ratio can create a perilous situation. There is no doubt that there is a point at which a responsible driver will abstain from operating a vehicle because of the amount of alcohol consumed. At this point and beyond, many irresponsible drivers have taken to the road, despite lacking in the mental and physical faculties necessary to safely operate an automobile. For many years these people have been appropriately dealt with by law enforcement. Today this is not so.
There has been an erosion of the police’s right to use discretion in many varying degrees and circumstances. This disgusting display of disrespect aimed toward the brave men and women by who we expect protection and aid when we are in our worst moments has gone past rational. These officers can no longer use their discretion in matters concerning domestic violence or drunk driving, effectively telling them they are nothing more than low scale minions, not paid to think but only to react.
These laws set into motion the further deterioration of individual rights through acts by desperate, emotionally unstable organizations that were knee-deep, wallowing in an insane witch-hunting frenzy. The burning hatred for a person that has taken the life of a loved one is the most powerful emotion a human can know. The ability to make rational decisions through this perspective is impossible. There will be irresponsible people to commit these horrendous acts as long as there are laws to substitute for individual responsibility. During these blood-thirsty and desperate attempts to resurrect a close death, individual accountability has been replaced by laws that not only remove the responsible driver’s right to a few drinks, but also put into place another crutch that will suspend the need for individual decisions. This is our current direction as a society, and it needs to change.
The before mentioned blood-alcohol ratio cannot possibility determine which driver is safe, as every person has there own threshold for which they can safely perform tasks. To make a certain percentage the standard for intoxication is irresponsibly stigmatizing all drinkers who have higher tolerances.
To remedy this discrepancy, this supplement proposes individual testing to be done bi-annually through the DMV or Secretary of State, depending on the state in question. After imbibing a chosen amount of alcohol, a driver is subjected to a driving test as well as a Breathalyzer test. If this driver performs adequately at the level of blood to alcohol tested for, that person’s operating license is demarcated accordingly. This removes the uncertainty of ability and sustains an individual’s right to choose against the tyrannical organizations that effectively extort money from hard-working citizens.
Speaking of money, who will pay for the expensive alcohol testing devices? This supplement concedes that as an uphill struggle against these reprehensible laws, the individual at first must pay to be tested at a chosen level, and thereby gaining back a stolen right.
Another blatant theft of our rights is that of the right to decline wearing a seatbelt. This is ridiculous in the face of motorcycles speeding by, and is obviously another slobbering attempt to disguise greed in a veil of concern for our safety. Cancer causing agents are alive and legal, but Congress cares for our safety so dearly that it wants to protect us from impacting a windshield. Force the auto companies to provide them, and keep your scrounging paws out of the personal vehicles and wallets. This law is an insult and should be repealed immediately on the grounds that it assaults our freedom to choose our own destinies.
VI
The Golden Rule
The golden rule of driving safety is that one should never drive faster than it is safe to do. Meaning of course that even if the speed limit on a certain street is sixty-five, with a foot of snow on the road it isn’t safe to do sixty-five. Alternately this rule can also be in direct conflict with reigning speed laws. If there are no drivers in sight on a dry sunny day, why not travel at eighty-five when it is safe to do so?
Speed limits are based upon below standard driving conditions. Factors such as traffic volume, the lean of a curve, and the ramp length at an upcoming merge all determine what speed is acceptable. These laws are based on the operating of a top-heavy conversion van, and traveling on a rainy night. The speed limit doesn’t change throughout the day, even though conditions do. The golden rule, beholden to its definition, does not ever change.
A corvette can better handle the centrifugal force of a sharp curve than an SUV. Conversely the SUV will better handle the depths of snow. What then to do with limits that have outlived the Model T? With proper lane usage (discussed above) these speed limits can be raised almost to the height of our ability to maintain quality roads, and develop efficient engines. As of now however, it only depends on how fast one needs to be somewhere measured by the risk of a ticket.
VII
Common Miscalculations
When progressing toward a light, it is imperative to look upon the flow of traffic bow-side (section I). All too often the impudent sojourner engages oneself engine block-deep into an intersection in the hope of finding the other side by the time the perpendicular lanes are awarded with a green light for their patience. When traffic is not moving, it doesn’t matter whether there is a green light or not; one still needs space to move forward. Because these brazen fools devour the limited space in an intersection, the patient and proper drivers are pinned down, and the light governing these proceedings is futile. This situation is extremely agitating to the victim, and creates either additional angst in the resentful among us, or embarrassment in the many who haven’t read and understood the first section of this supplement.
The opposite of this behavior is logically the inaction at a green light above. When the light emerges from its red autumn slumber to the springtime green of motion, it is incumbent upon us to embrace this signal, proceeding forward at the earliest opportunity. This is first determined by making sure the last of the red-light runners are through the intersection. This only takes one second extra if the driver is looking at the light at the time it changes.
There is nothing more important for a driver to do when behind the wheel than to operate the automobile. There are many distractions than can take one’s attention away from this task, but one must remain vigilant in the obligation to continue when directed. A lengthy period of inaction will deter a fellow driver from passing through the intersection when they were entitled to do so. One must act like there is somewhere further along the road that needs to be reached.
This somewhere, generally speaking shouldn’t be in the road. If a friend is walking along the sidewalk, and a conversation is necessary, park the car. There is little more disrespectful than to assume that the conversation with a pedestrian, while blocking the street, is more important than a fellow driver reaching a destination. It is important to remain courteous. As Deadwood would say, “Don’t make your problems other people’s problems.”
The fact that a cigarette butt is no longer needed does not provide a person with ample reason to discard it out of an automobile, and onto a public roadway. California issues a two thousand dollar fine to those caught littering, Amen! Thank you California. May the rest of be as wise one day. This insult to our planet and its inhabitants must be dealt with severely. Jail time should not be ruled out, but the best way to deal with this incredibly disgusting display of human ignorance is to deck the offender in prison orange, put them on the highway shoulder and embankment, give them a large bag and plastic gloves, and pick them up in a bright yellow stake truck with “IDIOTS” written broadside when the bag is full of trash. This avoidable menace has no excuse. People who report littering should be heralded as the saviors of our planet.
VIII
Summation
A word to the women collecting beads on their rearview mirrors, police notice these things. These are not items usually bought for costume jewelry, placed into the public view, and adorned when appropriate. They are the result of alcohol and public nudity.
If the point of displaying these bead necklaces is to promote the showing of breasts in public, so be it, however the stigma of the alcohol involved in the process is enough to enter one into immediate suspicion while driving. If the purpose is to attract more beads from other possible contributors, a major risk is being taken for this small reward. Or perhaps the initial lose of inhibition has a powerful positive memory that brightens up the drive from the ordinarily mundane stops throughout the day. Whichever it may be, the “wild and crazy” tag will put one into that category, for good or bad.
This supplement believes safety to also involve designing more environmentally suitable vehicles. The automotive lobbyists are very strong, but Mother Nature is stronger. Remember Senators, you are in a very important position, and the fate of your lineage is your responsibility. It comes down to you. Be our leaders in health, as well as prosperity.
There are many hazards one may come across while traveling in today’s mazes of concrete and gravel, and with these simple tips added to the government sponsored highway safety guidelines, a safe and efficient trip can be had by all who share a desire for long, meaningful life.
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