25 Ways to Marry Your Muslim Crush for Islamists

in #satire4 years ago (edited)

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Hi, my fellow islamist. Are you looking for a life partner, but not the same type of homosexual life partners who committed suicide by stabbing themselves in the back 108 times? Are you looking for the right woman who is unlike the other type of bitches showing the ocassional wrist while moving their hands?

You are in luck, when it comes to marrying Muslim women we have all the ways to marry them, excluding their approval as yours is all that matters.

1- Talk to her father: don't be naive by seeking the girl's approval before proposing risking her saying no. Women don't know men well, therefore wouldn't know if you are good or bad for them.

2- Talk to her brother: There are two approvals needed for you to consummate your marriage to a woman, yours and any other male in her life

3- Talk to her neighbor

4-Talk to her local grocery store owner's son

5-Travel to Spain, take a train to Catalonia, attend a home game in Barcelona, find a Muslim there, ask him

6- Jump in front of her mother's car: Use your tribe to demand her as a wife to compensate for your injuries, if you play your cards right, they might offer her themselves

7- Pick her up at a club

8- Pick her up in the street

9- Pick her up from school by tying her up and throwig her in the truck of your car

10- Use the fact that she doesn't follow your belief to just take her

11- Propose to her at the young age of 18: The younger the girl, the easier it is to convince her to get married

12- Propose to her at 14: All you need is to promise her Netflix account

13- Propose to her at 9: seriously, buy whatever toy or candy bar on your way

14- Get her brother drunk and win her in a poker game

15- Offer marrying her as substitution to paying he 374 dollars that her family owes you

16- Go back in time to when she is three, and have her father promise to marry her off to you when she grows up a little. Nothing is wrong with a little preorder

17- Offer her famly 3 camels

18- Offer her famly 2 camels

19- Offer her family 1 camel

20- Show up on a camel

21- Show up

22- Spread a rumor that she is a whore and have her famly kiss your hand when you offer to marry her

23- Wait for her to post a picture showing hands om Instagram then offer to marry her before her family committs an honor murser against her

24- Just take her

25- Rape her: Her parents would marry her off to you so she would pay for the sin of getting raped

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Being a non rapist, I find it difficult to laugh at these.

You should do one about Christians, so I can feel better about being racist.