IN ZE FUTURE, YOU VILL RENT YOUR CHILDREN
Guten Tag vile Peasants.
It is vith great delight that I am announcing zis new policy from your masters at ze Vorld Economic Forum. As you may be avare, I have decreed zat ze private ownership of Cars vill soon be banned, because zey are only used around 4% of ze time. Zis is not efficient and YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I DEMAND EFFICIENCY.
Instead, in my new #Utopia, if you vant to be doing journeys in ze cars, you must rent a ride from an approved driver, and you vill be required to have a social credit score of at least 4.3 in order to qualify.
Zis will mean ve have many less cars on ze roads, vich, yes, and zis got me thinking about vot else ve could transfer from private ownership to rental.
And zen I had zis very good idea, that perhaps #parents spend only a small amount of time vith their children, because zey spend much time at ze school learning important zings like why zey need to have zer penises and breasts cut off and take the very good #puberty blockers.
So, I am announcing a new diktat vich is zat all #children vill no longer be regarded as ze property of ze parents, but instead zey will belong to ze state, and if ze Mutties and Vaters vish to see the Kinder, zen zey must rent some time to take zem to ze park, or accompany zem to Drag Queen Storytime (as you know I am a sehr big fan of the queers teaching ze children).
Renting your children vill make you and zem much happier, and for ze pregnant people, zey can either choose to suffer ze agonising pain of ze birth and zen just hand ze newborn useless eater over to be raised in one of ze many vunderbar education camps vich ve are setting up, or zey could just have an abortion like zey should do, and zis vill do much to help all of #society, because ve vill be able to provide more jobs for fetus dismemberors and there vill be more organs zat we can zen harvest for ze #billionaires in China.
On top of vich, renting ze children means you vill be just like my elite friends. I mean, zey all rent children, for all sorts of purposes you know? Like Herr Bill Gates, he is alvays renting 12 year olds.
Zis new policy vill not be discussed or voted upon by anyone, because voting leads to misery unt as you know, here at the #WEF, we demand zat you VILL BE HAPPY OWNING NOTHING.
Danke for your attention, plebs. Now on vith your menial labour.
Klaus.
Klaus, you're such an utter Bastard. How do you manage to come up with such brilliant, yet evil, plans?
It is a vell honed skill. Unt call me eine Bastard again, unt you vill be sent to ze Gulag (Portland).
Is there a price break for quantity or long-term rentals?
Ja, if you rent two little boys for at least 2 nights, you get one chained up mexican girl vith ze little titty buds, like ze one mein friend Joe Biden enjoyed whipping...
Does your evil plan include rental insurance?
Ja, of course. If you are in any vay dissatisfied vith ze service, you can write to your local WEF representative, and zey will haf you burned to death in a cage. Zen you vill not mind I think....
Klaus, you truly are an evil bastard. Don't let anybody say otherwise.
Of course not. I vill have their mouths nailed to the back of an elektric car unt taken fur a scrape through their town. Zen zey won't be able to say anything ever again. Problem zolved....
Hey, Klaus. It looks like there is some resistance to your evil plans.
Oh, zis Kotzbrocken vith ze bad beard? Ja, ve have had our eyes on him for some time I think, and he is scheduled for ze Drone Strike vith ze White Phosphorus...
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Zis account is not endorsed by ze Vorld Economic Forum. Zerefore you vill be banned under mein global plans to rule ze planet and ze account owner vill be placed in a re-education camp.