THE BLOCKCHAIN BLOWTORCH - Now that Bitcoin has moved back over the $8,000 mark, cryptocurrency investors are praying for a new surge. Who else but Pope Francis to answer those prayers and reassure blockchain enthusiasts around the globe that God himself is indeed on their side.
So far, the Vatican has remained fairly quiet on the rise (and fall) of Bitcoin and so-called altcoins like Ethereum, Stellar or Ripple, but during Sunday mass at St Peter's in Rome, the pontiff himself announced Christians may soon see their own Deity 'shed His traditionally centralized divine authority' and opt for 'much more efficient and collaborative channels of Creation and Judgement.'
'It is true that the times are changing fast,' the Argentinian bishop of Rome added after blessing his congregation in person. 'And the Lord simply cannot stay behind. Perhaps, He has simply been waiting for us to harness the truly democratizing power of the Blockchain. In fact, by granting His flock the power of free will, you could say our Father planted the seeds for a decentralized, peer-to-peer economy Himself. He remains the one and only Innovator. The Unmoved Mover. The Bringer of Bulls. The Original Satoshi. Get your Lambos ready, Children. God is Great. Amen.'
No fetuses were aborted in the process of writing this article. No souls were irrevocably lost to the depths of Hell. No prophets were crucified. Carry on.
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