In Nairobi, survival is for the fittest as it is in any other jungle, city, or habitation. This does not stop with the business people or people going to work. The small, medium and big thieves too have their survival tactics. This is where the scrawny"fart" thieves come in.
Traffic jams start from the terminus at peak hours. And with them come a series of strategies thieves apply. And so that one is informed when around our famous trademarked matatus(check the dictionary we made it in there). The three most famous strategies are;
One, the thief drop coins and starts picking them. They categorically drop some on the side that you are seated, and since you are trying to be a good Samaritan ( remember this is a no no no no no no. I cannot stress enough) you decide to bend and help them. And there you have given them the chance they wanted to pick your pockets, bags, and maybe the wig ( hahahahaha for the ladies).
Two, You are using your pricey phone on the window seat, in traffic, that dude passing by is not a pedestrian. He can jump ( you would think them pro basketballers) no matter how high the window is. You are not safe, keep the phone in the bag.
Three,People pushing you to alright, while the makanga/conductor is rushing you to alright? They might be in cahoots. Especially if they are carrying suspicious bags.
So I have become so vigilant in identifying the three types of thieves, especially suspects as I have never fallen a victim. The other day, however, my friend had an interesting story to tell. That of the fart thief.
She had been on her errands in town and very tired. She gets into a matatu which is empty as she boards. This means she can choose the best seat (window seat with a window that can open). It's mid-afternoon, so no traffic from vehicles or people. She decides to check her messages on her new Samsung phone. She gets carried away and people keep boarding the matatu at a slow speed. After the messages, she is on Facebook ( stalks one or two friends), Instagram, and of course, let's see who is trending on Twitter.
That is when she is hit by a foul smell; " is that sewage? rotting beans? what the hell? " the mind soliloquy goes.
image from google photos
The small guy seated next to her takes out a handkerchief and covers his nose and mouth; looks at her suspiciously and she starts to "shuku" doubt herself. She opens the window and immediately her phone and bag are jerked away. Still confused
she cannot understand what is happening. The woman behind her starts shouting.
"Mwizi! Huyo mwizi, ameibia huyu dame". (That thief has stolen from this girl)
The small dude starts making his way to the door., hoping he has not been made but, the woman witness is relentless.
"Huyo ameshuta na walikuwa na yule mwizi" ( That is the guy who farted, he is in cahoots with the thief) She continues shouting
He dashes out but falls on the last step. Today is not his lucky day as people keep explaining this strategy. One person pretends to be a passenger. Identify someone gullible enough to steal from. Sit next to them and fart forcing them to open the window and another snatches the belongings from outside.
To cut the long story short, there is no shortage of creativity in Nairobi Thief industry. Be vigilant, be safe.
My friend was lucky but not everyone is lucky.
hahhahahahahahahahahahahhahhahah i love it
Omg! I had my bike stolen last week and watching these videos makes me feel so much better! Please reply to this if you guys see this I want to see more! I subscribed and I'm going to smash that like button on every video I love it! I hope you guys keep busting thieves and teaching them lessons. I work hard for what I did and I did stolen from sometimes and it pisses me off so much. Keep doing what you do! We need more people like you! @saimonuddin
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