You didn't manufacture your feelings. They were real.
Things change people change, feelings change, perspectives change and give us the impression that we were mistaken. No, we weren't. At the time your feelings were as genuine and pure as is possible.
I don't know about his feelings and I am in no position to judge him. Or you.
I realize that greater love provokes greater pain and greater pain can result in drastic reactions.
Oh dear, I am getting nowhere with this crap :)
To cut it short. You are here and extremely alive. This is all that counts. Future is here for you to take it.