Very sincere and touching message. Thanks for doing this, our unknown friend. The pure you is your honesty, keep it by all means.
Everyone has his vices, his weaknesses, his faults. I am sure that everyone has a story to tell on this subject. And I remember being totally lost in this regard. I tried different ways to revive myself. But nothing seemed to help.
Maybe for some people this is going to sound primitive or weird, but I believe that only God is able to help in such situations. And I have personal experience of this. We can run away from Him constantly. But at some point we will see that we are unable to help ourselves. And nobody at this moment can help us except Him. He is a loving Father ready to forgive us all our mistakes. He is a loving Friend, willing to help us in the most desperate situation. And all that is required of us is to simply refer to Him sincerely. Just admit your mistakes and ask for help from Him. I believe that this is the only sure way out of this maze.
The pure you is your honesty, keep it by all means. If you're honest, you'll be heard. And help will come. No doubt.