Little do we realize sometimes of how amazing we are as unique individuals. It can be easy to be self-critical and judge and doubt one's own worth and abilities. It is a habit of the mind, but is it true? It doesn't have to be. It is all perspective.
Think about the past experiences where you brought joy and meaning to others. Even making a person smile is a wonderful thing. See, that in itself is amazing.
Trust in our ability to learn, to grow, to become better and better. When we feel good and trust ourselves, everything falls into place. This is both faith and of natural course.
Okay, great. Knowing this much, what can we do to embody this knowledge?
So I decided to take out my handy dandy notebook and pen and take a sunny walk, meditating on the question: "How to be gentle to myself?"
Behold my super amazing messy draft!
I found out there are two ways to approach this question:
- Ponder with mind
- Experience without mind
I did both where I would either think about things I saw on my walk or momentarily pause my thinking-mind to engage with my physical senses. Here is what I learned:
Experience without mind:
How can nature be so vibrantly colorful?
Look at how furry that friendly little bug is!
I was tempted to bite this.
In the part of my walk where I took the time to quiet my mind and engage my physical senses, I perceived many lovely things. I went around touching trees, leaves, flowers, and bugs. I found out I like the smell of Jasmine plants. I also said hello to five different people and there was a Chinese old couple who greeted "nihao" to me so I said it back even though I don't speak Chinese hehe.
I realized that being gentle to myself is as easy as letting go of the mind, of thinking. Just being, exploring, playing, engaging curiosity. Being together with nature, and being like a child again. Smelling the flowers and breathing in the fresh breeze of life. How often do we make time to do this for ourselves?
So it seems that when we are not gentle to ourselves, it is actually the mind being mean to us. Letting go is real relaxation. That is being gentle and loving.
Ponder with mind:
Life is actually not complicated when we learn to appreciate the simplicity of life: the colors of the leaves, the shades of a tree, the curious creatures of the wild
Reducing expectations and the amount of responsibilities that we have. When we have less on our mental plate, we can be more at ease with ourselves and therefore have more energy and time for things that truly matter.
Everything happens for a reason. Like when a person does not like you, that reason is more about compatibility than it is about you. Or maybe they had a tough day. If you find yourself overthinking, either let the mind go via meditation or shift attention to other things. It is a skill that involves practice.
If here and now, you decide your life goal is to learn and play, then there can only be success. Because when there is failure, it is actually just another opportunity to learn. That is great because that is something we all do as humans.
I spoke about the Power of Attention in my previous post. Utilize that power by increasingly placing attention on your own being. Often, we outsource our health, independence, and ability to critically think, by over relying on authority figures, technology, and others. Practice taking back that attention and training yourself to be self-sufficient so you feel more secure in your own body .
By way of mind, being gentle to ourselves is retraining the habit of the mind to be positive, and I find one great way is to focus more on ourselves. Being with ourselves, making decisions for ourselves even if it leads to mistakes. Owning those mistakes and learning from them.
Perhaps all of this time when the mind is mean to us, it is because we are ignoring who we are and what we are meant to do. Then in that case, everything not only happens for a reason, but happens for our benefit.
The next time you beat yourself up for something, stop and pause and think, what is it you are supposed to learn, what is it that you are neglecting about yourself? Doing this is transforming and will signicantly help you to let go the mental load.
The truth is, we all have talents and skills and our own special way of contributing to the world. I image ourselves as nature in the shape of human beings having a relationship with other aspects of nature, and that each of us have our own style, color and personality that we add to the collective dynamic.
Therefore, everyone is important. Whether we realize it or not, each and everyone of us is important to this universe. Be kind to yourself, live life in your style, in your way. Express your uniqueness, because that is truly the only way to pay homage to yourself.
And as always, I like to share with you that never ending love we receive from the sun. Regardless if anyone ever pays attention to it or not, its love radiates out continuously and unconditionally. 💗
Thank you.
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