In order to be a real man or woman in the world, one need to act on their own instincts and ideas and trust them.
In 1841 Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote an essay called “Self-Reliance” on the need for the individual to avoid conformity and false consistency.
“There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self Reliance
You can not trust the rules of the group, they might be enforced by powerful individuals in the group that have intentions and motivations for their own benefit. If you conform even if you know these rules are not right, you loose you own truth.
You can not conform to laws the government put in place, because they might change tomorrow based on corrupt politicians and the feeling of the times. For years, slavery was written in law and the next day, slavery was forbidden. You need to think for yourself in order to know what is right.
You need to be a non-conformist in order to be yourself.
You need to make up your own mind. You can do this by practicing self-reliance. You need to be independent and find the truth about anything yourself.
You need to trust you own heart and mind, your instincts, ideas and feelings of right and wrong. And most importantly, you have to act on them in the world in order to be a real man or woman.