I know self love and prioritizing ourselves blah blah blah BUT DAMN does it suck to stick to it sometimes. Truth be told I’m aware I feel this way because I’m still grasping the concept of my own worth. Step by step tho I’m starting to become more self aware about how others treat me and learning that tolerance isn’t a promise of “eventually people will treat me better” I can’t control how people treat me but I can make decisions on what treatment I allow to experience. In all honesty, that has been a reoccurring theme for me in the dating world as of lately. Things go well for a while but slowly as I get to know them, I see some standards (of mine) not present or some inconsistencies.
I argue with myself often about it. Heart vs Mind. I tell myself I can’t hold on to something that I just don’t see I can be my true self. I can’t settle with anything less than what I want because I am already everything I need.
Anyways, maturing is weird but also really satisfying, it’s still a learning process even can feel like a reconditioned behavior. I like to think that I trust my conscious and know my resilience is strong enough. Haha life is life.
I wasn’t expecting for this text to be long but if it means anything it helped me move on from my current feelings.
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