From what I know there's lots of women that can't orgasm during penetration alone, and the ones that can, don't every time. My wife has some toys, but if she came home with one of those "huge" ones, you know the ones the size of your arm, and said,"This one does it for me", then I may feel a bit pissed and inadequate and possibly thrown out of the window into the neighbors yard. ^_^
On your pie incident, what flavour was it?, If my wife wanted to do that to me, I would go for a lemon meringue, Yum Yum and most probably scoff the lot , leaving me in no mood for anything else. ^_^
But on a serious note I agree with @Kenny-crane reply.
haha. I think it may have been cherry but it was like 9 years ago, coulda been some other berry. :)