Just like vaginas, penises come in all shapes and sizes. While stereotypes will tell you that “bigger is better,” it can be kind of alarming when you come face to face (er, crotch to crotch?) with an oversized penis.
“Bigger is not always better—that idea is absurd,” says Jessica O’Reilly, Ph.D., host of the @SexWithDrJess Podcast.
That doesn’t mean you should write a guy off because he has a big penis, or assume that your sex life is screwed—you just have to get a little creative. There are a few basic truths to keep in mind when it comes to having sex with a bigger guy. Lots of lube is crucial, says Rachel Needle, Psy.D., a sex therapist and licensed psychologist at the Center for Marital and Sexual Health of South Florida.
It’s also important to take it slow and use plenty of foreplay so you’re ready by the time you move on to P-in-V action, says sex therapist Debra Laino, D.H.S.
Of course, sex positions matter, too. That’s why we got experts to share their top positions to try when your partner is bigger down there.
1
Reverse-Back Cowgirl
You want to avoid deep penetration, which is why Needle recommends this move: Have your guy lie down on his back and straddle him, facing his toes. Then, lower yourself so that you’re lying on top of him, with your back against his chest, and have him enter you that way
2
The Seated Straddle
Ask your partner to sit down in a chair or on the edge of the bed, and straddle him while facing him. “This allows you to control the pace and how deep he penetrates you,” Needle says.
3
The Close-Up
Have your partner sit on his butt with his legs bent in front of him. Then, sit the same way while facing him, and scoot yourself forward until your legs are intertwined. Have your partner enter you from here. Since you’re on top, you can control the rhythm and how deep he gets. Plus, the padding from his thighs and your butt create a barrier to prevent him from getting too deep, O’Reilly says. And, it’s hot. “This is erotic for many—they have direct eye contact as they are sitting at the same level,” Laino says
4
Reverse Spoons
Think of the spoon position, but opposite. “Lie on your sides, facing one another, and slide on in,” O’Reilly says. “This position tends to facilitate shallow penetration and leaves lots of space for kissing, stroking, and clitoral rubbing.”
5
The Snake
O’Reilly calls this her favorite position: Lie down on your stomach, and have your partner lie down on top of you and slide in from behind. You can reach back and wrap your hand around his shaft to help control how deep he gets or change up the angle of your butt for the same effect.
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