Being a MILF is not the same thing as being a COUGAR

in #sex4 months ago (edited)

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MILF vs. COUGARS

Just because I'm a MILF doesn't mean I'm a COUGAR. I know they overlap. But they are not the same. I'm 47. I'm not LOOKING for younger men. I am not TRYING to go out with them. I am distinctly more attracted to OLDER men without a doubt. But I stopped dating a long time ago. I say no. Often. Younger men are especially no exception.

But every once in awhile...one of them gets through the pearly gates. He does enough to express interest, show persistence, and genuinely make an effort to boyfriend me, while making me feel entirely safe and sexy, I occasionally find myself giving in.

Does that make me a cougar?

I don't think so...but I'll tell you what, If I wasn't one before, I might be one now. This younger generation is....different than their Gen X counterparts. If I do decide to date again or search for a partner some day, I might just be tempted to examine the possibility of increasing the age gap...significantly.

Keep in mind, I've only actually BEEN with three men below the age of 33. But I've been in sales and technology for the last 5 years and have worked predominantly with men between the ages of 19 - 30 during that time. Mark my word, there is something different about this age group. Society HAS softened them, but mostly in good ways. It has not emasculated them like we feared. At least, not to my experience. Still plenty masculine, just more internally aware and more sensitive toward others.

Why Sex/Relationships Might Be Better With GenZ

CATEGORIESGEN ZGEN X
Attentiveness in generalTuned in/interestedDistracted/bored
Attentiveness during sexOh My GodThey "try" but they're not connecting
Disposition in generalKind / peacefulJaded / distant
Disposition during sexHungry, eager, passionate, responsiveEntertain me please
Goal in generalTo please meTo impress me
Goal during sexTo please meTo impress me
Eye contact in generalDecent but distractedMostly distracted
Eye contact during sexUncomfortably goodNot so good
Listening skills in generalMama taught them well"Fix It" mentality
Listening skills during sexI don't even need to say anythingI have to do a lot of coaching
Confidence in generalInsecurities show and they'll say soInsecurities hidden behind beards
Confidence during sexStill a little insecure, but it fadesIt's a mixed bag
Masculinity in generalGreater balance between masculine and feminine traits. Sometimes too sensitiveMostly no feminine at all. Too masculine and insensitive
Masculinity during sexPretty strong, but they wait for "consent" signs or words firstStrong, but they are more likely to assert sooner
Consent in generalMore likely to ask my opinion and value itLess likely to ask my opinion or value it
Consent during sexMore natural and comfortable with the ideaA little more awkward and worried about being "rapey"
Manners in generalOthers oriented; "where woul you like to go"Self oriented; "give me the remote"
Chivalry in generalAlive and kickingWorried about the feminism, so they don't try as much
Puts me at ease# 1 goalIsn't sure what this means
Stamina during sexStays up even after they cumTakes more to get it up, goes down immediately after

The sex is far better, but not for the reasons you would think.

Read the chart and see if you can make the connection as to why.

It's what you do LEADING UP to and DURING the sex. Men of my generation seem to be more fixated on "performance" and "action". Younger men seem to be more obsessed with "connecting" and "serving." Dominance is not an issue. Plenty of dom to go around in either scenario. But the younger men would rather lay back, listen, watch, wait, feel, breathe it in, and allow as they learn you. And you can FEEL their patience and their pleasure, while they then proceed to take you over and consume you. It feels equal parts predatory and worship. Not a bad combo.

It's not our fault the vajayjay works that way.

Don't blame the vajayjay. LEARN HER. Men, if you want responsive sex, drop your guard and worship the goddess. I know this little pussycat needs to feel truly worshipped...at least, just a teeny bit. And she will give you the best sex of your life, pretty much all day looooong. She'll want you all the time, and obsess over how amazing you are as a man and how you complete her and make her feel safe and secure. And...she'll tell you how amazing your BLEEP is and want it nonstop.

Isn't that what you want?