Through mindfulness, I have identified three different kinds of horniness I experience.
Physical
This is the feeling when my genitals are screaming for attention, the burning sensation in my groin that demands an orgasm for release. This sort of horniness is very distracting, but it is also the most easily solved since masturbation gives me the release I need.
Attraction
When my horniness is directed at someone, it is a craving for that person. Sometimes it manifests very animalistically, as a need to devour them, sexually. Sometimes it's just a need to be intimate. This kind of horniness can be a nice build up. It can cause me to initiate in flirtation and creates anticipation we can both share, provided it's mutual, of course. If it isn't mutual, well, it's a bummer. There is no outlet. I can try masturbation with them in mind, but that usually only tones it down for a couple of hours. The best way to get rid of it if it isn't mutual, is to direct my horniness elsewhere.
Fantasy
This to me is the most interesting type of horniness I experience, and is the one that brought me to identifying the different types. It is a horniness that is a yearning for a certain experience. A fantasy is played out in my mind, and that fantasy is the drive for my horniness.
This kind of horniness drives me to window shopping if I cannot find an outlet. For example, if I have bdsm fantasies, I often find myself window shopping for sex toys. Well, sometimes I find myself actually buying them, but I try not to do that in a heated state.
The other example has to do with my gender. Sometimes I crave being fucked, being penetrated, as a sort of validation or enhancement to me feeling feminine. When that doesn't have an outlet, I find myself window shopping for men.
You?
Do you experience those kinds of horniness? Other kinds of horniness? how do you deal with it when it has no outlet?
Would love a discussion in the comments.
I've used a picture of a devil for this post because that's one of the presumed sources of the word horny.
well everything is knowledge ...
I have experienced all three of these, but physical horniness in a reaaaally small amount compared to the others. I have fantasized about almost anything, and I can easily feel attracted to someone- sometimes fantasy and attraction combine when there's no outlet, but physical horniness has been almost non-existent for me. I'm still questioning if I'm demisexual or not because of that.
Great post!!!
My understanding of demisexuality is that attraction to individuals is based on feelings or other ways of getting to know them, rather than physical appearance or mannerism.
I think the physical desire for release is something more dominant in males than females, though I haven't researched the subject. In which case, it might be testosterone based. No idea though.
Yes, exactly like that- like, if I'm at a concert or a bar and there's this person who I think is attractive, I can fantasize about them and feel those kinds of desire you mentioned. But if this person decides to approach me, it becomes a whole different situation, because it would be really hard for me to get into it with them unless it's someone who I really know and feel emotionally connected with. I still gotta do my research on that haha. I might talk about it later on another posts. As for today, I've only identified as bisexual, but I could also be biromantic and demisexual... It's a journey haha.
I have a few male friends who've felt related to what I said... But i really have no clue yet about that concept so i really can't say 😅
Good luck on your journey!
The third is the best when combined with the first, although it doesn't externalise for me like that.
Knowing my body and my mind, better then anyone, I can and have taken myself to outstanding highs, and into fantasies that don't really have any bounds, but I'm sated by that fantasy, once I'm back in the world and capable of walking, I shelve them for later use.
Also thus was a great post, it's good to see queer sex positive posts.
👍
I have been through the first two and the physical one is the one which I have been undergone various times, its really disturbing and can be released by mastubrating.
just get married homie n u gonna be alyt.....all kindz of horniness permanently cured......or a sex doll.....lol
The third is safer than the physical but there still is an emotional affect whether watching or sexting without sharing pix (which is umpteen times worse than physical because of the risk of exposure).
BTW taking pics with a Brownie camera and film is less risky because you should learn to develop film. Hint. Hint.
I'm sorry, I don't follow.