Such is what I and many of my friends in China were told by our parents when we reached the age of curiosity pondering the question of the birds and the bees.
However, beneath this innocence, lies deeper issues of old ideologies meeting with the new. Sexual attitudes shifting along with societal reform. With China opening up and becoming more globalised, we are seeing China exert less control over sexual expression. The cultural revolution is over, and the sexual revolution has begun. Where Chairman Mao once tried to bury Capitalism and Sex, Chinese people have begun to embrace both.
With less stringent controls on sexual behaviours, attitudes and ideologies, the people of China have begun a sexual revolution that has seen previously taboo behaviours become more widely accepted. For instance, sex is no longer seen as a necessity for bearing a child, in fact, sex has also seen itself divide from love. Couples are no longer considered comrades, instead they are viewed as lovers. While the older generation may consider fornication to be improper behaviour, the post 80's generation of people generally do not. Sex is no longer viewed as a means to reproduce, but more than ever, a legitimate pursuit of pleasure and happiness.
Perhaps what ignited this sexual revolution was the one child policy. Ironically it had little to do with the sexual revolution that was to follow. Implemented as a way to curb a surging population, the policy inadvertently liberated people from having sex for purely reproductive reasons. However, liberation comes with's caveats.
Revolution and it's side effects
The one child policy may have inexplicably brought about the sexual revolution, but it has also created a generation of singletons who grew up over indulged by their parents. The term "Little Emperor / Empresses" is now attributed to the new generation of children brought up under the one child policy. It is argued that these little emperors and empresses have a higher tendency to have poor social communication and cooperation skills. And being over-indulged also leading to a lack of self-discipline and poor adaptive capabilities. It is because of these reasons that we see a generation of people who feel an unrealistic entitlement to their treatment as well as expectations of the "perfect" mate, a behaviour instilled in them by being spoilt by their parents who have afforded them with a better life than they could themselves live.
This lead's to yet another problem which is the skewed gender disparity. Traditionally, boys have been favoured over girls because they could carry on the family name as well take care of their parents when they grow older. Although infanticide is illegal, it was still a fairly common practice before the 1990's. Couples would go through extraordinary lengths to ensure that their one and only child was a boy. For example, sex selective abortion was widespread for many years.
On the other side of the story, women have control over their sexuality more than ever. A growing middle class has seen more women pursue a career and achieving autonomy before settling down and starting a family. However, this empowerment of women and the feminist discourse has led to other pressures and social labels. The prime example would be the derogatory term, Leftover Woman which I have discussed in a previous post on China's leftover women : Single and not necessarily successful
Sex Education is still an issue. Rather, the lack of proper sex education.
A typical sex education class would be a simple anatomical diagram of how the sperm meets the egg and that's it. Most people will learn about sex and intercourse from the internet and online porn, which is often a skewed and lacking view of what sex really entails. It's no wonder that there is a rise in sexually transmitted diseases.
But with a lack of proper sex education at schools, parents are finding it hard to fill the gap. In-fact, parents are even less likely to talk to their children about sex.
Being raised in a family that was religious, they feared the idea of sex. So the best that my parents did was make sex out to be a bad thing. Which has had a negative impact in my life. Your right there needs to be a better understanding of sex education, and better ways to teach kids not simply avoid or make it into a problem.
Yes, making sex out to be a bad thing can be quite damaging to a young person particularly in today's society where you might be alienated because of that. A lot of sex education should include understanding how to cope with different cultural, and religious beliefs.
I would agree with you on that! My wife's sister refuses to talk with her daughter about relationships. She even got mad at her daughter who is only 5 about liking a boy in class.
Great job, at the time of this comment, post is 16 hours old. value 200.03, 447 votes and 231 views. Very nicely done.
Thanks whatsup, appreciate you taking a read as well :)
It would be interesting to hear what you would consider to be "proper sex education"?
Here is one possible curricula that I ran across (knowledge once practiced by an elite ruling class, now more readily available - but who has the discipline to pursue this level of study?):
Basic Sexual Alchemy Practices
Sexual energy plays very important roles in chi cultivation. Taoism believes that sexual energy accounts for a large part of the energy that a human body generates or absorbs; a person cannot achieve spiritual fulfillment without conserving and leveraging the power of sexual energy. The first step of traditional inner alchemy (Chinese: 内丹） is transmuting the material carrier of sexual energy (Jing) into Chi. The basic sexual practices in the second formula can lay a solid foundation for the transmutation. However, because sex is a "hot" topic in a society, teaching sexual practices might be controversial. Nevertheless, besides being indispensable for spiritual development, sexual practices are beneficial to both good relationship and health if they are done right.
Male Sexual Alchemy Text: "Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy, The Multi-orgasmic Man"... Short Description: Control ejaculation (avoid semen loss) and transform the sexual energy up into chi and spiritual forces.
Female Sexual Alchemy Text: "Healing Love through the Tao: Cultivating Female Sexual Energy, The Multi-orgasmic Woman"... Short Description: Control menstruation (avoid blood loss) and transform the sexual energy up into chi and spiritual forces.
Dual-Cultivation Text: "The Multi-orgasmic Couple"... Short Description: Exchange Yin and Yang in whole body orgasms or valley orgasms
That's very interesting. I must admit, I haven't considered the importance of channelling sexual energy for the purpose of achieving a higher spiritual fulfilment but I can understand why it might be something worth learning and "training" for? Even on a superficial level, if the practices yield good relationship bonding and good physical health, then from what I can gauge, there isn't anything negative in trying.
There are some sayings in Chinese such as one drop of sperm is equal to ten drops of blood. And I guess this might have something to do with the idea of transmuting Jing into Qi. From my point of view, I think treating Jing as a scarce "resource" is one way of looking at it. Although it is true that unlike women, sperm can be produced throughout the life of a man, irresponsible use of that is like taking away the life energy which could have been channelled for use in much more "productive" ways during the finite time a man has to use his energy to make his life fulfilling.
To answer your question about what "proper sex education" might entail..
I probably wouldn't introduce them to seemingly advanced topics such as sexual alchemy because clearly there are grounds not covered at this point.
I think that sex education is something that isn't just a course that can be delivered in a small number of sessions at a specific age and then considered complete. For instance, what you mentioned would be a completely valid topic to be taught, albeit some time later when the child reaches or approaches that emotional tier of reasoning.
Thus, I think sex education should be delivered throughout adolescence, and support the transition to adulthood. The material should also be at a level that is relevant to their physical and emotional development. For instance, puberty should be taught before the onset of it, and sexual activity around the age children start to desire it.
The earliest delivery of sexual education should start with the anatomy of the different genders, and how they change going into adulthood. Items such as puberty should be taught so that dialogue on this matter between parent and child would be natural. (Things like periods, breast development etc.)
At this stage, I also think it's fine to teach how a baby is conceived and born. So, this would include intercourse and how sperm fertilises the egg. But this by no means advocates nor promotes things like sexual activity. This stage I feel is about understanding physical development and reproduction as a phenomena.
Throughout the teenage years, I feel more emphasis should be put on the emotional side of sex as well as relationships. This is of course in addition to more detailed coverage on different kinds of sex, and sexual orientations. Since in the early teenage years, some adolescents may even begin their sexual activity and so proper teaching on the various methods of contraception should be delivered. At this point, contraception ties in nicely with teaching about relationship dynamics, the emotions that might be felt, the responsibilities each individual has not only for their own sexual development, but also the people they engage with. Knowing the consequences of their actions.
With sexual activity there is also the importance of understanding how to be sexually healthy, in tandem with education contraception, things like sexually transmitted diseases and personal hygiene should be taught. Not only what the diseases are, and what is considered hygiene, but details on how to deal with issues arising from these two issues. Cancers, lumps and bumps should also be taught, how to identify, and what to do if you think you have it.
Perhaps some material relating to the broader purpose of sex outside of reproduction. Of course, they will have by now been taught it's purpose for reproduction, but may not have thought about the other reasons people choose to engage in various kinds of sexual activity. So, at this point it would be appropriate to emphasise the importance of respect. How not to feel pressured, or pressure people into engaging in activities they don't feel comfortable with.
As physical aspects of sexual education are covered in varying degrees of detail up to this stage, it's important to not leave out discussions on feelings and other aspects of relationships such as marriage, raising children, having a family etc. Different kinds of sexual orientations can also be discussed here, for instance Bisexuality and Homosexuality.
I guess after these grounds are covered, other topics I would expect taught in high school or even college would be things similar to sexual alchemy as you mentioned but also other contentious topics such as promiscuity, polyamory vs monogamy, ethnic and cultural differences in attitudes towards sex, relationships etc.
Thank you. That was a very thoughtful and detailed response. It would have made an excellent post on its own and added to your growing reputation on steemit :-) As it is, it now lies buried here in a comments section. Oh well.
I think that your ideas of what would constitute "proper sex education" are spot on. Would that I had been brought up with such an education! It would have saved me much heartache, and an extraordinarily damaging cul de sac of drug addiction and toxic relationship, on my life path.
Where we might differ is how such a program of education could possibly be implemented. Being a voluntaryist (all interactions between people would be voluntary in an anarcho-capitalist or voluntarist society. A person owns himself/herself.), I am fundamentally against having such education in the hands of the "State". Except in rare cases of spiritually developed people or communities, the old adage "power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely" seems to have held true throughout history. A top down approach will fail in my opinion. To succeed, implementation will spread out from small centers of conscious, intentional communities.
I also think that, unless a particular community has made other arrangements due to local conditions or aims, the first responsibility for the education of children would lie with parents. Unfortunately, there are virtually no parents left in our modern world who would be capable of imparting such an education to newly arriving little beings.
Therefore my thinking runs along the lines of small groups of people forming communities. Participants would support each other's development up to a state of having the capability to become the type of parents who could impart such an education as the one you envision.
Sexual alchemy is not an advanced course in sex. It is an advanced course in Qi-Kung or body qi yoga. If you do not know about energy flows, and cannot flow energy during your regular daily practices, then this advanced form will have no meaning. Its like reading the Kama Sutra thinking it is just a book on positions.
In addition to the physical aspects that you talk about, I would also like to see much more talked about with energy and spiritual aspects.
Such as when you copulate, you are sharing the energies of your base chakra. This is also where your physical world problems are. So, you are sharing all of your problems with your partner.
However, as I have said above, most people in the west don't even believe qi exists. And those who do know it exists, few actually work on it. Most would just excuse any teachings on this as silly or "not something I need."
Currently, in The U.S. sexual education is required class in high school. But, the way its taught seems to lead to all kinds of problems. Probably the biggest problem is the oversexualization of media, and then teaching kids that what they should do is to ignore their sexual desires. Which usually creates a bad feedback loop.
None of this means what you think it means.
... unless you are chi-kung master or have practiced Tantric Yoga.
Yes, all of this is doable. But, most americans do not even believe in chi.
And of those that know chi, few practice working with chi.
Even in american (body) yoga, most don't even practice chi flow.
Alchemy means the converting of base elements into higher elements. Or, to use a bastardization of terms, you convert the simple physical sexual ejaculation into higher kundalini energy.
First steps are learning to flow chi through your body.
After you know its feel, then you practice converting lower vibrations into higher vibrations.
Then you learn how to take your rising sexual peak, and turn it up the spine into higher energies.
and wikipedia is not a place to start this journey. Be well
I was a student of Mantak Chia for a time. What did you think that I thought it meant?
Since most of us are here in the west (western culture) I have no idea what to expect.
I get responses of the above ranging from porn to magic.
I do not know if this is from you or wikipedia. Anyone who has been a disciple knows exactly how much practice they need to put into it. And "elite ruling class"???!!! Where does that come from. Only in Tibet were the Rinpoches and Rulers the same people. Most rulers had very little wisdom in the spiritual. It is not something that you just have to have the right teacher and bang, there you go.
So, taking all your replies here, I have no idea what you meant.
That is from Mantak Chia, an accomplished master who introduced me to these practices. The techniques were most certainly used by various Chinese emperors in T'ang and and other dynasties. And the practices were kept confidential in the past. They are now out in the open, similar to the way Tibetan practices have now been widely written about, hence your knowledge of their existence - unlike many years ago when I lived in the Himalayas and they had not yet been made public.
It is interesting how China is changing. Thanks for posting!
I suspect that China may be just one example of many developing countries with similar developments in their attitudes towards sex.
This is a very interesting article about things I never would have known about if I didn't read it here. I knew about China's One Child policy but not about the consequences. Thanks for sharing this!
Thanks, just to note, that the one child policy was abolished in 2015 and now the restriction is on two children per family. Their considerations are mainly on the diminishing number of people in working age.
your post outstanding
Thanks anasz
起床晚了，没抢到沙发，抢到了最后 :)
没关系呀 还是很感谢你的支持！^-^
China has come a long way in the last 50 years. As far as developed countries go, China has seen a very fast-paced evolution from a primarily agrarian culture with very traditional views to a more urban population with new ideas in such a short amount of time. Given enough time, maybe these kinds of experiences will become less prevalent.
I think the progress is extremely fast, but for countries that have already made headway in sexual liberation and advanced their attitudes towards sex and sex education, there still remain challenges. So, I believe humanity still has some ways to go. Not just in China.
I just wanted to emphasise some of the unique issues arising from some of the government oppression as well as cultural attitudes attributing to the dysfunctional sexual understanding of many young Chinese people.
Great post! It's refreshing to see the world from another's point of view.
国内是没有性教育的，有的只有岛国片。看来甜心要开讲性话题了，不错的主题！
其实有 只不过太肤浅 很多空间可以进步的。 当然性的话题大家都有兴趣！
It is an interesting article, yet there are a few things as an outsider to China who has been there would like to add.
The World Elite are hugely into human depopulation programs, "soft kill" techniques to keep the rapid population growth "in check". That is why the United Nations gave China the Model Country award for instituting the crazy "One Child Policy" that will lead to massive problems in china both demographically and sexually with the massive differential between numbers of males and females. The pushing of homosexuality, transgenderism, etc. Is a pushing of the "Illuminati Religion of Dualism", and fits into their Population Control Agenda.
The Woman in China as far as I could tell from conversations there only care about money and status. They could care less how ugly a dude is or how much of a prick he is, so long as he is a communist party member who drives a Lamborghini, which brings me to my next point.
Why do the Chinese allow themselves to be ruled over by a group of morally unethical, completely corrupt, lavish "communists" who drive around in Lambo's like they are some sort of Capitalist Tycoons. You got a few billion people there, you got a few completely psychopathic communist party members who need to be removed and the Chinese government replaced by something that makes sense. Why has this not happened? Why do the Chinese allow themselves to be monitored at every corner, and censored online? Do the people there not see the rapidly growing Police State in cities like Shanghai and Beijing?
It's different where you live?
Yes.
It's sad the whole world is being corrupted into immoral animals. Very few men and women of character, honor, and commitment. The human race is becoming a bunch of selfish, self-centered, pleasure seeking perverts.
Eventually the Almighty God will have to destroy this race for the third and final time, just like He did before in the days of Noah and in the days of Sodom and Gomorrah.
Interesting write up! 👍🏻