How to Make Sex Last Longer

Reaching climax faster than your partner is common, so don’t get down on yourself. Fortunately, most people who climax quickly can learn how to last longer.[1] Exercises and lifestyle changes can help improve control, and there are lots of climax-delaying techniques you could try during sex. Climax control products and medications could also be worth a shot. If your partner finishes too soon, try to approach the topic as a team. Avoid placing blame, and let them know that you want to work together to build physical and emotional intimacy.

1 Relax and encourage yourself.

Anxiety and self-doubt are major mood killers, so try to be optimistic. Approaching sex with confidence, self respect, and a positive attitude can make all the difference for both you and your partner.[2]

Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts about your performance, think to yourself, “Sam, finishing fast is common and you shouldn’t get down on yourself. You can deal with this!”
Referring to yourself by name can be more effective when practicing positive self-talk.[3]

2 Work on lasting longer during masturbation.

Trying to reach climax as quickly as possible during masturbation can train your body to expect a quick finish.[4] Masturbating a few times a week and a couple hours before sex can help delay climax, especially if you practice lasting longer when you masturbate.[5]

3 Start doing pelvic floor exercises.

Exercising the muscles that control ejaculation can help you last longer. To identify these muscles, stop urination midstream and tighten the muscles that prevent passing gas. To exercise them, tighten them for 3 seconds, relax for 3 seconds, then repeat 5 to 10 times.[6]

It might be easier at first to exercise while lying down or seated, but try to do them standing, too. As you strengthen the muscles, aim for 3 sets of 10 repetitions per day.
Try to only tighten those muscles that help control urination and passing gas. Don’t just flex your buttocks or thighs.
Breathe normally as you exercise, and avoid holding your breath.

4 Cut down on alcohol other drugs.

Alcohol and other substances can cause premature ejaculation, erectile disfunction, and other performance issues. Avoid drugs and alcohol before sex and try to cut down your overall use.[7]

5

Find a regular sexual partner if possible. If you typically date around, consider settling down with someone. Being intimate with one person can help you become more comfortable and confident during sex. When you’re comfortable with someone, it’s easier to have an open conversation about improving your sex life.[8]