The sun was rising on the apartment building where Kiara lived. She had been staying there as a paying guest for only one day. Today was her first day in that building living alone in the PG. Her room was sparsely furnished with a wardrobe to keep clothes and a table and chair. Most of her things were still in the suitcase and only a few pictures of her family were resting on the unused table.
She went about her morning business in a haze. A powerful aroma of upma, a traditional south Indian breakfast wafted through the door; she remembered her college days when she and her roommate used to wake up to a similar aroma which then they all hated as nobody liked eating upma for breakfast. They used to call it concrete as it was rough as cement and tough to slide down their throats.
Kiara was newly separated from her husband. It was just yesterday that she had left the home where she had lot of memories, which she had beautified and furnished from scratch when they were newly wedded four years ago. She had packed her bags and left the house while her then husband was fuming at her attitude and stood with arms crossed.
Fresh with emotions, Kiara left for work with a smile plastered on her face. She has not yet informed her professional friends that she was going through a divorce. Her parents were yet to come to the city and in the meantime she had only moved a few blocks away to a new PG that opened only a few months ago. As the rooms were new, the paint was fresh and it had large open windows which let sunlight and air flow right inside her room.
Kiara could not concentrate on her work that day. She took an early leave and went to her room by 4 pm. She cried her heart out and hugged a pillow for company. She didn’t have many friends who lived in the vicinity and those who did, were busy with their own schedule of running from home to office or on maternity leave caring for their newborns. She did not want to disturb others with her sad news and get sympathy. She just wished she could only have that one person who would empathize with her, hold and hug her. She remembered the biggest fight she had with her husband. He would beat her up and slap her right across the cheek because he was insecure about himself and doubted her at every stage.
The physical abuse was not consistent. Abruptly he would get angry just for not passing the TV remote control; his anger would last a few minutes only and in those few moments he would break anything that was reachable. After those few moments of terror, he would cry like a baby and fall on her lap for hurting her and promised that he would never raise a hand against her ever again.
Kiara and her husband, Raj, had a love marriage. They both belonged to different states and it was really difficult for both of them to get their parents on board for the wedding. Brave and social, Kiara took matters in her own hands and brought both sets of parents face to face and forced them to converse properly. The older people were initially skeptical, but since both were from a respected society and a cultural background, they didn’t find any reason other than the difference in state to reject the relationship. Unwillingly at first, willingly later, the wedding happened with lot of grandeur; multiple ceremonies were conducted by both the parties to please and impress the new relatives. The honeymoon period lasted longer than expected and the two love birds couldn’t be separated. Although, things didn’t last velvety for long.
Coming out of her reverie, Kiara called her mother. She spoke to her about her dad, who was suffering from illness and was not encouraged to travel. Kiara controlled her emotions well enough and explained all the legal procedures; as if it is a chore to be done or some errands to run during the weekend. They were given 6 months of time for the final divorce and they had to appear in a family court after 6 months of living separately under different roofs. Both the families agreed for an out of court settlement which meant that they were their own lawyers and nobody would guarantee justice in case if a party was irrational.
Still this was okay.
Both families were not very keen on knocking the door of the court and paying hefty sum of fees to lawyers. They didn’t even know any lawyers. Only one lawyer was hired for the legal proceedings to occur for both parties.
Even though there was not much injustice, Raj’s family blamed Kiara for the entire charade. They spread rumors instantly about her behavior and attitude since she was earning a tad bit above him; how she was disrespectful and always conspired with her mother; that she was very ‘modern’ and would wear revealing clothes, disrespecting her family.
As these rumors reached Kiara’s mother, she was very upset. She knew that her daughter was the finest woman any man deserved. They shed a few tears for the false accusations imposed on her daughter by her mother in la but couldn’t do any more. Kiara’s mother thought that since Raj’s mother herself was a working professional, it would be easier for her to understand the woes of a working woman and she would accommodate her daughter-in-law for being independent and responsible, but to no avail.
Kiara’s parents were not really happy with Raj and his new business. They wanted their daughter to marry someone with a stable and well-paying job, but Kiara was very confident about Raj’s new startup which didn’t pay much but had a very good prospect in the future. Kiara wanted to support him through his business. Raj and his friends were working on this since the final year of their college.
Kiara didn’t want to shed tears for the man who ruined her 4 years of wonderful life. She had lost those four years which would never come back to her ever. She wanted to live life to the fullest. Her parents were however not very convinced. Yet they knew how difficult her life was after marriage. They were helpless and their heart cried for their only daughter every day.
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One such evening, Kiara was sipping coffee on the balcony of her room when she glanced across and found another apartment adjacent to her building; a lady in her home wear was drying clothes on her balcony which was in line of sight. The lady must have been very upset because Kiara could notice her mumbling something even though there wasn’t anyone around. The lady roughly threw the wet clothes on the string and merely stretched them across and went inside the house only to come back with more clothes. Following her, another man came outside mumbling at her. They both were fighting over something. It seemed that they were a typical couple, fighting over something.
The following day, Kiara found the same lady brisk walking in the park; she was clad in a saree. She was slightly perspiring. Kiara completed her five rounds and sat for a while on a bench. She smiled at the neighbor lady who in turn smiled and sat beside her with a sigh.
The two women got talking.
Kiara: Hello. My name is Kaira.
Lady: Hello Madam. My name is Shanti.
Kiara: I live in the next building from yours.
Shanti: Oh really? I have never seen you around. How come?
Kiara: I recently moved here. Just today I started walking. It’s been a while I have been doing physical exercise.
Shanti: Tell me about it. I have been walking since two years, Madam. Except sweating nothing much is changed. Phew!
They both laughed.
Shanti: Okay Madam, I will leave now, I have to cook breakfast for my husband. I will see you later. Bye
Kiara smiled and waved: Sure. Bye-bye.
Thus Kiara made a friend that day. She remembered how she had stopped her morning routine because Raj wanted breakfast sharp at 8 am. Shaking her head, Kiara quickly stood up and walked towards her PG, trying very hard to remove the thought of Raj and the mornings spent with him.
Kiara and Shanti started meeting every day during their walking sessions. Shanti was working in the rice mill in the adjacent area which was filled with small huts. It was not a neighborhood people from higher strata would tread on, even for a walk. Shanti’s husband was a daily wage laborer and earned his livelihood by carrying heavy loads of cement, bricks or grocery items like rice and wheat into trucks that would fetch to and from the warehouse to various shops in the city. They were living in a dilapidated apartment which was bought by Shanti’s father and given as a dowry to her in-laws during her wedding. It was their custom.
If it weren’t for Shanti, Kiara would have never realized that Shanti was from a low income family and they lived on a day to day basis, counting pennies and buying groceries from the government funded ration card which bought them rice at Rs.5 per kilogram. Shanti always was neatly dressed; she never wore fancy clothes or embellished jewels or carried high end bag. Her completeness in clothing was noteworthy. Shanti usually wore sarees; they would always be neatly pleated and pinned; a set of bangles, matching earrings and a bindi on her forehead and tresses woven in a long braid. Shanti loved dressing up.
As days passed, Kiara and Shanti, two women belonging to different cultures, society and back ground began bonding over a 5 minutes break during their morning walk; both would go back to their own lives after this brief encounter only to meet the following day at the park.
Shanti was a simplistic woman with fewer expectations from life. She lived for a day when she could cook for her husband, a lavish buffet without having to worry if their grocery supply would suffice that week or not. After meeting the classy neighbor, Kiara, she was taken aback by her friendly nature and down to earth mentality. Shanti always looked wide eyed when rich people travelled through cars, smelled of expensive perfumes, wore fancy clothes.
She always had a dream to look beautiful; be appreciated for her beauty, long tresses and jewelry. But her work did not permit her to fulfill her dream. Right after marriage, a year ago, she had started working in the rice mill; her soft hands had gotten rough after carrying heavy bags of rice, wheat and millets which customers brought in to be made into flour. The owner of the mill was a middle aged man who owned many mills like this one and would sit at his desk all day counting money. He did allow Shanti to take a day or two leave whenever she fell sick.
Thus went Shanti’s 20s working in a mill. Recently she had discovered that she was pregnant and her husband wanted her to continue work as it brought in money. Shanti was in constant fear that due to her workload she may undergo miscarriage and this was the reason for her constant argument with her husband since the past week.
Kiara knew nothing about pregnancy. She didn’t have a clue whether Shanti should work or not. With half and half knowledge she didn’t want to give wrong advice to Shanti and be a cause for a mishap in her otherwise simple life. Kiara advised Shanti to visit a doctor and get directions for her pregnancy from a trusted gynecologist; but Shanti laughed and mentioned that none of her family members had ever gone to a doctor for pregnancy.
This reminded Kiara of her own appointment with her gynecologist who was her childhood friend and helped Kiara when she had faced minor issues a few years ago. Kiara’s friend/gynecologist was working in the most famous corporate hospital in the city and was helping women with their pregnancies who couldn’t afford to pay hefty prices. Kiara made a mental note to talk to her friend and try and help out Shanti as much as possible.
With a task in hand, a good will to help a friend, Kiara slowly got back to her own self and started getting used to her routine. She didn’t tell much about her past to Shanti in the fear that she would also abandon her. The fear of losing the only friend in her day to day life made Kiara livid with anxiety. Kiara was much nicer to Shanti than she needed to be.
Shanti was a new friend after all who didn’t know her past.
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Saturday morning, Kiara had fixed an appointment with Riya, her gynecologist friend. They had discussed Shanti’s case and wanted to provide her support to go through a normal delivery. After much convincing from Kiara, Shanti’s husband and Shanti were on board to seek medical advice from Doctor Riya.
Initially Shanti was skeptical, but Doctor Riya was as cordial and nice as Kiara. This gave her some courage and after a few minutes of discussion, Shanti poured her heart out to Riya about her woes as a working, pregnant woman. Riya took a few tests, confirmed her pregnancy and prescribed a few health supplements which would aid the vitamin deficiency in Shanti. The hospital charges were covered under the government program that helped pregnant women to get the best medical supervision in today’s era.
Shanti and her husband were surprised and were all praise for the doctor and Kiara for supporting her and giving her knowledge about the complexities of pregnancy. Riya allowed Shanti to work at the mill but asked her to avoid toiling or lifting heavy bags. She further mentioned that day to day work will aid her in a smooth delivery and a healthy child.
Meanwhile, Kiara too yearned to have a baby. She and Raj had been trying to have a baby since a few months but due to their fights, it never happened.
Riya asked Kiara also to do a checkup since she too was available and to check on her over health. Kiara agreed.
What followed next changed the course of her life.
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Dazzled, Kiara reached her room and collapsed on her bed. She could not believe that she was pregnant. This was not happening; she was dreaming; any time now she will open her eyes and Raj would be besides her snoring softly and all would be well.
But it was not.
Kiara was getting divorced and she was pregnant, with Raj’s child. She was sure of it. It had only been a few weeks she had left Raj and she did not realize that she had missed her period. Kiara thought that due to her emotional upheaval, her body system was upside down and this delay was only a one time lapse.
Riya had confirmed her pregnant for 4 weeks now. She had yet a few more days to decide whether she wanted to continue or not. As days passed, the complication increased. Kiara wanted to get an abortion then and there, but Riya asked her as a friend, to think about it and let her know the decision after a few days. She had a week’s time until her next appointment.
But Kiara was surprised; she knew she was happy. She had always wanted a baby since few years and it was only Raj’s uncertainty of managing finances and work-life balance which had them set back. Kiara had finally convinced Raj and he was half on board and still skeptical.
Kiara took out a notebook and a pen. She made two columns named Pros and Cons and drew a long line vertically, dividing the page into two. This was rational Kiara; this is how she had always taken decisions in her life. She would jot down all the points that would pop in her mind and then make a fair decision.
With regard to her life now, under the Cons section she mentioned- divorce, single-parent, financial responsibility, no more dating, no one to care for, social stigma. Her pen stopped at this point, she thought about her parents. They would be against it if they ever knew. The social pressure, the questions the family and neighbors would ask; Kiara’s character would also be questioned. Many amongst her family members already knew that she was separated from her husband.
Then it hit Kiara, her child would be fatherless; this one thought tortured her more than anything else. She didn’t want her child to face the atrocities of the society as a fatherless child. This was the biggest decision she had to take for herself and her unborn child. She thought how she would face her husband and in-laws after 6 months during the final settlement; how they would react if they knew she was pregnant.
This was an ethical conundrum for Kiara as she judged whether her husband had the right to know about their child or not. A small thought occurred Kiara. She wondered how it would be to get back with Raj, for the sake of their child.
It was painful. The thought brought bouts of emotions that lay unstirred in the back of her mind; an intense feeling rose in her stomach and as she ran to the bathroom and heaved the last of her dinner in to the basin.
This was just a start; there was more to come, if she decided to keep the child.
She called her mother and explained the situation. Her mother was dead against her keeping the child. She reminded her of the society which would not accept her child without a father’s name. Life of a divorced, single mother was not pleasant news in the neighborhood. Kiara’s mother asked her to swear not to mention this to anyone. Kiara however convinced her that the father of the child has a right to know.
The next phone call was made by Kiara’s mother to Raj. She explained him about Kiara’s pregnancy and asked him to suggest abortion. Raj remained nonchalant. He denied having anything to do with Kiara anymore; he said the only time he would meet Kiara next was in the court and other than that he had nothing to do with her life or her family.
This was the end of it.
The whole family was in a shock. Kiara’s father was too weak and yet in this hour of need, they both travelled and reached Kiara. They stayed with Kiara and they discussed about her having a child in such conditions.
Kiara’s mother gave her hope that once she gets out of the divorce, she would find her another man who would love her and take care of her; after all Kiara was only 28 and there would be plenty of men who would not deter to marry a girl as beautiful as Kiara, but for a man to marry a divorced woman with a kid was too much and the possibilities were less. She urged Kiara to think practically.
Kiara did think; but all she could see were cute little socks, pretty lacey baby clothes, the incredible baby smell and a tiny hand wrapped around her finger.
She realized that right now there is a small human growing inside of her who is literally dependent for sustenance on her; she imagined having a conversation with the baby face to face and could see its cute little eyes that would be just like hers.
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9 months later………
They were standing outside the court Room.
The divorce was final. All the legal procedures were complete. The whole charade was over. Raj’s family met Kiara for the last time and there was disgust in their eyes. The only person who looked her in the eye was Raj. He had softened a bit. He saw Kiara with her large belly. Kiara was holding her Mom’s hand and walking towards them. She struggled to walk as she held a hand behind her back to support her weight. As they came face to face, Kiara and Raj were a few steps away from each other; their parents just stood a few steps behind their respective children.
Kiara said – “Thanks Raj, for making this easy on me.”
Raj replied – “That’s okay. How are you feeling? What did the doctor say?”
Kiara –“She says that delivery can happen anytime now. It is just a matter of few days. Everything is in place, don’t worry.”
There was regret in Raj’s eyes. He couldn’t believe they had reached such a point where he couldn’t even dare to hug her. Although there was no love, only a concern and a flimsy thread tying them to each other as exes.
Kiara said – “Bye Raj. I hope you have a good life.”
Raj asked her – “Kiara wait. When are you leaving for Canada Do you need any help? Please let me come to the hospital during delivery. I know you will need me”
Kiara replied – “We have been over this many times, Raj. I don’t want any negative energy near me or my baby while in the hospital. Well, my Visa is ready. I will be flying after 2 months. Bye”
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Meanwhile Shanti had delivered a baby girl a few days earlier to Kiara and they named their daughter as Kiara. Shanti was thankful to Kiara and Riya for their constant support and immense knowledge about pregnancy myths and facts. Shanti and Kiara remained friends for a long time since then. Eventually Shanti stopped calling her friend as Madam.
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As a single mom, Kiara stood at the entrance of flight with her stroller beside her. Little Rakhi was cozy under the blanket. Kiara’s Mom and Dad were ahead of her with their bags. Noticing Kiara taking a moment, they moved forward quickly leaving her to take a moment.
She pushed the stroller inside the flight; found the seats and settled in. The whole family was moving to Canada to start a new life. Leaving behind a few painful memories and a million happy memories, the family of four looked forward to a new beginning in a new continent, far away from a society who wouldn’t accept the broken hearts and unconventional families.
Thus began a journey, Kiara chose for herself and her baby, for which she worked for during her third month of pregnancy. Her parents were an immense support during her delivery, PR application, career paths and divorce. If it weren’t for their constant emotional support, Kiara would never find the courage to stand alone with her head held high.
The End