We have all had trouble riding out this awful bear market and to help all you aspiring crypto traders out there, I delved into the archives for this Showcase-Sunday to give you a splendid advisory piece to "see you right."
Dig in!
As a well known and deeply respected Crypto Trader© responsible for articles such as Crypto Trading Techniques and Crypto Trading: The Soggy Biscuit. I felt it time to chime in with some help for the new and not so new Crypto Traders amongst us on how to operate in the red markets we are currently experiencing.
Note: I say red markets because I dislike bears. Filthy creatures.
Don't worry, follow these tips below and soon you will be hanging your hat on a gold peg and that is not a euphemism for penis.
You simply could not ask for a better qualified man to walk you through the perils of a red market. After all, not only did I leave my wife for the life of crypto trading, I have also met and killed the real Satoshi Nakamoto!
So let's get stuck in. After all, as just about everyone and their dog is saying, this current market is not a bloodbath but an
First thing is first. You gotta have or get some of that sweet crypto in order to buy some of that sweet crypto. this pretty much means buying some Bitcoin.
There are several ways to do this.
You can blog on Steemit, earn Steem, spend Steem, BE STEEM. Then swap Steem for Bitcoin. This method is guaranteed. (*note -not guaranteed)
Or you can pony up some of that sweet greasy fiat and buy direct using whichever user friendly, not mind bogglingly confusing routes to do so. Oh wait, there aren't any? Ok, You can jump through 1 MILLION hoops and buy it that way.
There. You are in. You have that sweet Bitcoin, time to turn it into unmitigated profit.
I know, I know. The markets are all red you say. It's a BLOODBATH!
And no, I am not going to quote that old todger Buffet.
Find a coin outwith the top ten cryptos by volume. Aim to find one that costs cents rather than dollars.
Buy the shit out of it.
Sit back and smoke a sweet sweet cigar.
Wait, there is more. Did you think you had cracked it? That it was all so easy?
Oh no my friend. There is work in this trading game.
Now comes the fun part.
Check your portfolio hourly.
Watch as it steadily decreases in value along with every other crypto in this god-forsaken realm.
Weep as its value plummets to less than half of what you paid for it.
Yell in delight as one day it bucks the trend and rises up into the green. (Along with every other crypto. Usually a Tuesday.)
Weep again as the very next day it sinks to new lows.
When it is worth approximately a third of what you paid for it, it is time to forget about it.
That's right, forget about it. If anyone asks how your investments are going just tap your nose, wink and say HODL...
Choose another crypto, this time from the top ten cryptos by volume.
This revolutionary technique is called
Get more Bitcoin with that sweet, safe, stable I mean, greasy FIAT. Yech, dirty dirty FIAT. You might have to get into serious debt. That's ok though. Life is all about risks and when I say risks I mean opportunities.
Select your preferred top ten crypto.
Buy the motherfucking shit out of it... BIG STYLE.
Still got them cigars? Smoke one of them sweet sweet hoagies.
Now, check your portfolio.
Weep big fat tears as it reduces each day.
On Tuesday shout, scream and dance for Joy as it bounces up a little into the green.
The next day and the following days find yourself weeping with terror and debilitating fear in bizarre places like public toilets or clothing store changing rooms.
When you can take no more, sell all that shit for about a tenth of what you bought it for.
If anyone asks how the trading is going, tap your temple and nod wisely, telling them.
It's a tough market to operate in but the knowledge to be gained... Is...
Tell yourself this as you rock yourself to sleep each night.
Please be aware that my eccentric opinions do not constitute real trading advice. In other words don't be an arse
This is both deeply hilarious and utterly brutal. You have reawakened my trauma and now I am torn between laughing, crying and sh***ing myself 😅😂😭
Sounds to me like you got some trader inside you!!! :0D
I was mostly a Panic HODLer (if that makes any sense), only salvaged from scalp-tearing madness by Steemit's greater earning consistency (I used to call it the conversion of "literacy into lucre.")
Haha, that's a good name for it. Panic hiding is the place to be, much more fun than selling and buying all the time!
Ha ha, I got my golden peg a while ago from the profits I made from.... bitconnecccccttttttt... and it gave me a major stiffy!!! wait a minute, I meant golden egg... that hatched into a shitcoinbird. Damn... fckn chicken/egg trading 😂
But, yeah you're right Hodl... a nudge is as good as a wink to a blind man 😉
Haha, all of the above and more!!!
I think bitconnect was one of the crew I skipped during the good times
Lol!!
Youre on point Boomy!
I have wept sir....lol
Weep more when you buy more. It's a wonderful thing!! ;0)
The other day being at home in my kitchen, just by saying out loud the word 'crypto', even the onions started crying ...
When the onions start crying then you know something is going right!!
Ok thanks, so from now on better let the onions buy BIG STYLE I guess ...
If it ain't BIG STYLE it ain't nothing!!!
Really? Now that could be the time to buy!
and remember, If you buy-in to steem at $0.20, and you start powering down at $2.00, then sell at around $4.00. You might be a good investor, but you are a deserter!!! You are going to be the cause of the next downswing in the price.
T that's right, you will be a pariah among your fellow men!!! Unless you are possessed of whale-age then you are forgiven!!
Hurrah for coffeeA!
!COFFEEA
!shop
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Ah yes when every day except Tuesday is down, well you know you want to go in heavy in that. You see even though our investment goes down day by day, we have the advantage that we know so much more than the average Joe that keeps his money silly fiat in the bank or especially the wankers that buy stock in companies that make a product and sell such a product for a profit. How bloody ridiculous is that, I mean anyone can do that!
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