Please welcome my son, Gray
In this photo above, he is REALLY having a good time piling clothes on my head 🤣
Today I wanted to talk about grief.
As special needs parents we will experience times of grief, and I had to learn that it is perfectly normal. Not grief for the child we have. I would never change my son, except to help him be healthier. That along with helping him to thrive in this world. No, my wife and I experienced first, a grieving period for the child we had in our heads. The one that would be a star athlete, top of his class and dating the most beautiful girl in the world…simply, dreaming of the best life for my child who was in the womb.
When we got the diagnosis that he may have Down syndrome, we were crushed. Those dreams died that instant. With that grief came lots of guilt for the unborn child that was to be our son. We were still going to love him dearly, but WHY were we having feelings?
It wasn’t until later that we talked with other parents with kids having special needs that we learned this was simply a part of the process
Were we terrible people for having these feelings? Not at all. Every single special needs parent I’ve talked to has experienced this and if this is you, know that you’re not alone.
In fact, the grief is not over. When other kids reach milestones that my son should have hit at a certain age or time limit, I still experience that grief. Crawling, walking, eating, talking and even driving will be moments I see other kids reaching their goals that my son is supposed to hit. What I’m reminded of is that my son will accomplish everything he can, on his timeline.
We just celebrate those milestones when they are reached, and probably celebrate them a bit over the top 😆
After seeing the struggle my son had from the moment he came into this world, I have learned to have patience like no other. Patience for him to catch up and reach these common goals on his terms. Not what is determined by society.
My son continues to amaze me everyday! Sometimes it’s amazement at things we’d rather he not do, like learning to strip off all of his clothing, but still I cherish every moment.
Congratulations @recchemforbin! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s):
Your next target is to reach 300 upvotes.
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPCheck out the last post from @hivebuzz:
Welcome to the hive.
If you want rewards, you have to get out and make friends.
Commenting on the posts of others is one way to becoming known.
We can be a tough crowd.
Good luck.
Hey! Thank you. I’m so new to this I’ve been laying low and learning something new every day. Hopefully I’ll get comfortable with everything and venture out to comment more. I’ve been voting some on posts I like, but staying in my cocoon until I know I’m safe. 😆
Appreciate your help!