The first SLAP-THE-SPAMMER contest was truly a success. The aim was simple: how to respond to spammers in an original yet effective manner. With 16 responses from all around the Steem world, @diebitch and myself would like to thank everyone for their participation.
Without these original Steemians, Steem would be a much less beautiful place!
@horzymandias, @ahmadmanga, @tinypaleokitchen, @barbaarseevelien, @practicalthought, @mjm3101, @the-maker, @demonsthenes, @firststeps, @clayboyn, @pjay96, @jayna, @professorhobo, @sabas and @roydestory.
The Winner
But now of course, we need to let you know about the winner. Although there were several spamilious responses, the jury has decided to select @jayna as the winner of the SLAP-THE-SPAMMER contest. Jayna wrote a lengthy analysis of the spam, which I would like to repeat here for you all, as it may inspire us all. I have added some editorial notes, in case jayna is interested in refining their spam-reply-technique even further..
This was the original spam that was to be responded to:
The Winning Response by @jayna + Analysis by @nobyeni
My dear Blank40. I was so enthralled with your comment that for a moment I found myself speechless. Did you come up with that all by yourself? How delightfully insightful!
Your enthousiasm is striking, @jayna. So much so, that I wonder if you actually mean it. You write you are speechless but yet you proceed to write a pretty long comment. That is paradoxical, and it doesn't sound very honest. But let's see if you can make me believe that your excitement is not all feigned - I know winning this contest might also have helped you loose sight of credibility. It happens to the best of us.
What is your secret? Perhaps you've been studying some of the great poets who are known for their ability to communicate immense ideas in just a few words.
Here I feel you bring in a lot of creativity and wishful thinking. This says more about you, than about the spammer. Is that really your intention? Consider staying close to the material at hand, have you considered how the spammer may feel, when they cannot recognize themselves in the 'ability to communicate immense ideas'?
In fact, I'd like to examine this further, for the deep, and profound truths that are embedded in your minimalist comment bear further examination.
How is it possible that you say you need to examine something, that you want to examine something further, but you've already decided what the outcome will be--deep and profound truths. This is not a great way to start an investigation. If you already know what you will find, why would you even go looking?
When you said "like," I could only assume you meant "similar to." And yet, upon deeper reflection, I find myself pondering. Could you have meant something else? I paced my house late into the night, in fact, fixated on this one thing. Perhaps you meant, "So," or "Hello there." Is it possible you meant nothing by that at all? Perish the thought!
Here again, a very personal reflection. If this is your style, of course that is fine. Yet what exactly are you saying here? Is this the best way you could have said that? I get the feeling you are letting things slide in this paragraph, I hope you will be more careful about this in the future.
Moving on to "wery," I was amazed anew! This could mean so many things. It's like a little phonetic puzzle. I suppose it's possible that you are an India native, and wrote this word as you might pronounce it. A dictionary gave me an additional clue, explaining that "wery" is simply "eye dialect" for the word "very." So THANK you. I've learning something new today!
Excellent. Praising the material is a very good way to interact with the reader, the spammer in this case. (See also an earlier spam tutorial on this topic.) Good that you focus on your own experience with the spam, how it effected you. This is very effective - which was one of the criteria of the contest.
And finally, let's look at "good post." This little aphorism took my breath away. Your brevity is remarkable. I'm truly enthralled by your ability to communicate this incredibly deep thought so succinctly. Kudos, my friend.
Here I would like to point you to this article written by @tinypaleokitchen where she explains why the use of adverbs is generally not a good idea. I'd really recommend you go and have a look at it, it might help you to improve this paragraph.
Oh, and thank you for the link. Shameless self-promotion is always highly valued, and putting your completely unrelated link in a comment on my post of course means I will immediately go visit, upvote, and resteem your wonderful content. And naturally, I will follow you and suggest all of my friends do the same. I can't wait to see what you will come up with next!
I'm not sure what you mean here. (People who have read the latest spam tutorial will recognize an excellent use of the 'philosophical turn' here.) If you de believe that putting your own link works so well, why haven't you done so yourself?
Brilliant... just brilliant. If only I could learn to do what you do.
I'm not completely convinced you actually mean this. Your ability to learn from the input of the spammer and turning it into a transformative experience, tells me that you actually have a lot of abilities. Therefore I would like to encourage you to trust yourself more, and to continue learning. Where-ever it may lead you.
@jayna, to support you in your learning curve, hopefully the 1 SBD prize money will come in handy.
Thank you, Steemians, for your continued support
In case there is a clear need, @diebitch and myself will contemplate holding another spamilious contest.
Thank you for all the excellent tips. I shall consider them and incorporate your tutelage into my writing and spam commenting in the future!
👏 😂
Oh my god this is hilarious I love that you did this. @jayna, awesome response.
@nobyeni I hope you do another -- this would be a treat to enter =]
It was fun!
Hahaha!! I'm amazed by @nobyeni analysis more than the actual response of @jayna. Well, If I wouldn't be busy at the time I read a spammer comment I might make comments like these.
I like giving people the benefit of the doubt, or at least trying "until proven guilty approach." So @janya way is more like me.
Oh, she doesn't have to be honest in what she says, she has to be kind and assertive at the same time!!
I agree with you that not all spammers intend to spam. Some are just newbies and don’t know any better. But for true spammers, who ritually use the shotgun comment approach, it probably doesn’t matter what we say. They are not interested and won’t read it. So, my long love letter was merely for my own amusement. 😁
Keep spreading the love, @jayna and @ahmadmanga!
Exactly, that's me too~
Upvot me back pls!
Brooo. I hope this is an ironic joke.
I don’t think so, unfortunately. Ironic, yes. Joke, no. I somehow resisted the urge to say “yes, we are happy to upvot you. Bend over.”
Let's keep this one as a backup plan. I hope he gets the message. If not, then go for it ;)
You got it. 😃
I suggest to read the Spam Tutorial - warning: this week's tutorial is for advanced spammers only. If you are new to this, please start at the beginning.
It's never too early to learn. It's always to late for excuses.
Thanks for helping me to discover this series! You have a wonderful wit, my friend!!
Every time I read one of those responses I imagined that clicks fingers and walks away
This was truly hillarious! Maybe there should be a permanent creative outlet of how spammers are slapped.
good post. ok i upvote now u upvot back pls.
As I am more a visual artist than a writer, I have created this short cheerful response that I now leave as my comment to a spammer :
I like the way it draws attention; like a little flag on a dog pooh pooh in the street...LoL
Unfortunately the contest has already ended... but you would have made it difficult for the judges for sure! Thanks for stopping by!