SITUATION
Hi. I have a 1 year 4 months baby, everyone says that she looks like her father and the truth is that she looks a lot like him. What happens is that my husband sent a picture of the baby to his family so that they get to know her, and everyone said that the baby did not look like them. My mother-in-law said that she did not look like her son at all, which is a lie, and I cannot help but feel bad. I have already discussed this with my husband, he says that I should not pay attention to his mother, that she is like that because she is jealous. I cannot help but feel bad, I know they do it to annoy me because the girl looks exactly like her dad, and they only say the opposite. I do not know what to do, what do you recommend to cope with my husband's family that I cannot stand.
ADVICE
First of all, you must make an analysis of why the opinion of your mother-in-law and your in-laws in this situation is important to you. From a spiritual point of view, wanting other people to change or think the way you want them to think is a waste of time. We cannot change people unless we want them to lie to us. In this case there are two possibilities. Maybe your in-laws really think that your baby does not look like your husband, which they have the right to express it openly, since a spiritual person must respect the opinion and perspective of others. Or maybe they tell you that with the intention of offending you which speaks a lot about their own unhappiness. A person who makes comments to another person with the clear intention of hurting them does so because they are hurt inside. This wound has nothing to do with you, it has to do with some trauma from their past. What they want from you is exactly what you are giving them, a reaction to their comment. Telling your husband that you feel bad about it is the reaction they expected. If you understand this simple but effective way of looking at this situation, instead of feeling bad, you will feel compassion for your in-laws. They act like this because they do not heal wounds from their past, deep down it has nothing to do with you, your son, or your husband. It is something more personal and hidden from the eyes of others. Commenting on your life is a way to avoid their own life, it is a way of feeling good about themselves. Your reaction feeds their starving egos. If you analyze that deeply, it is really sad that they live that way. The important thing here is that you do not get emotionally affected by it and let go of the situation for your own emotional peace. If you fall into the trap of the comments you can get to affect something that it is truly valuable to you, your husband and your son. You will continue the chain of pain caused by your in laws and you will infect it in your family. Be honest and ask yourself. Why am I so interested in my mother-in-law and in-laws' approval? The answer can lead you to a path of personal discovery of your own traumas and the healing of your being.
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