Words can't quite put into words what I felt when I read your story. I think I now know why you are who you are...having hit that pivotal moment is so gut wrenching that you reach a level so deep within yourself that it literally gives you that glimpse of truism and clarity. You really have to hit that shocking point in life that knocks you down to a place never seen before. To me that is connecting to you inner being. It is always there but rarely touched.
My feeling is that life is a path toward living but also learning, through ups and downs, with happiness and sometimes the deepest pains ever imaginable. It is not to hurt us but to teach up what really matters. We would never be able to appreciate what we have if not for experiencing total pain to gauge from. I've also been to that rock bottom place but I think it has made me more real and more loving. My appreciation would not have been to where it is today without that pain.
I have always told you @bubke that you are really an honest and true person. I knew it from the start and now I know why. I really appreciate your ability to share such a painful but poignant moment in your life. I think it is one of the reasons you are so grounded today. Wishing you and your family happiness and love. Please take care!!! .....Cabbagepatch!