I was convulsing.
I thought I had fallen asleep-but there I was, lying on the floor, shaking and not really knowing what was happening. All I knew were the visions I was having, and that somewhere in the distance was the faint rattle, keeping us entranced in the underworld, and calling us back to reality..
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On the wooden floor of the small shop room, our instructor sat cross legged, lighting Pine Resin in a tiny cauldron. Smoke billowed out of it like hallows eve, and the smell was comforting-Forresty, but not smoky. Just nature-y in a way that brought memories of the UP and summers with grandparents. A welcoming smell.
She passed the pot around for us to smudge ourselves (a type of cleansing for spirits, karma, etc) while we settled in to begin the guided meditation.
Shamanic Journeying. Not something I'd ever done before, or ever really heard of. I wasn't the type of person to assume a label-But I'm always open for new ideas-so when the new Crystal shop down the street decided to open its doors to multiple worlds of strangeness-Of course my only answer was "YES"
Full disclosure-I'm not "spiritual AF" or some "Hippie Guru." I don't try to push anything on anyone-I simply open my eyes, ears, and arms to the Universe and what it’s trying to tell me. I've learned that Universal language comes from Within, and do my best now to listen to it. To its absolute fullest. And so, our Shamanic Journey Began.
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"Each experience is a new experience. And each meditation is a different meditation, depending on what spirit tells me." Our instructor Nyrie disclaimed as we lay back on our thin mats, eyes closed, breathing deeply.
"Today’s mediation will be completely different. They've asked me to start off with a cleanse before leading you to the underworld. We've never done that before."
As she said this I almost felt guilty, as she walked around the room, smudging it. As if my demons were the reason we had to cleanse the Entire room before starting.
Behind my eyelids I felt the lights dim and the coolness of the air on my skin. I tried not to expect anything, while also willing all of the "cleansing" needed done to come to the surface.
Honestly, I really hoped they'd find it. Whatever "They" were. Whatever "it" was.
She started chanting while walking in-between us and shaking a rattle. Guiding us through a meadow, and having us sink Deep down into the Earth..
The last thing I remember before I black out.
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There was a bear. A bear and a Toucan.
What was a toucan doing here??
I didn't really ask much questions. A voice in the distance was guiding us-telling us to ask questions. What we were supposed to know.
All I knew is there was a bear, at the entry way to this cave, with a toucan. And both of them were waiting for me.
I walked out as they guided me along the snowy path.
Wasn't this bear supposed to be hibernating?
Hibernating...
“You’ve been hibernating on your dreams.”
The voice was my own, and no one spoke. It was a message speaking to me from within. I had been hibernating on my dreams.
“Bears gather all they can in the summer and spring, to get them through the winter. You’ve had your time of rest. You’ve had your time of hiding. You don’t need to hibernate anymore”
I looked off in the distance. A cabin lay waiting for us as the snow fall. We stood quietly, waiting for permission to enter.
“Someone is waiting for you.” The ominous voice was back.
I opened the door. Standing in the entry way, a young native American man-right away we embraced. He looked unfamiliar but Somehow, we knew eachother.
He’d been waiting to meet.
We sat down on the floor, where an old Native chief appeared, with magic fire blazing and sparkling. It was hot..but majestic..mystic. Both of them started talking to me, to tell me what they’d been waiting to tell me…
“Time to leave the cabin” The voice commanded, before I could understand anything that was being said.
With arms outstretched and pleading, I was able to grab my young friend for a last hug goodbye,
and I was gone.
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The bear stood waiting for me in the snow. The toucan looked up into my eyes, and disappeared.
A Puffin..He was a Puffin..
When I looked back up, we were no longer in the meadow, but by the river.
All around us, wild salmon jumped out of the current, as brown bears grabbed their feast.
Spring now..
“See how easily the fish come? The bear does not move. But waits as the fish, seemingly jumps into its hands…” “The current must continue to flow. And as long as you flow with it-the abundance comes to you.”
All around bright pink salmon jumped in to the air. Each bear gnawing, striking, diving. The air was cool and the marsh nice beneath my feet.
I plucked the feathery bulb from the ground, and pursed my lips.
Make a wish..
“Time to go” the voice was back. And suddenly, I am at the entrance of the cave, waiting to depart.
“Before you go-Your guide has a present for you”
I looked at my bear, and there, in a white box with a red ribbon-A journal.
I hugged the bear. This whole time we’d said no words. Funny, how language doesn’t need to be spoken for things to be understood..
Thank you..
The rattle grew louder as chills flooded my spine. Just flashes now, in and out of what was real and what was meta. I knew I was dreaming, but I also knew, it wasn’t fake.
Freezing and sweating
Goodbye…
And I was awake.
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What Does it mean?
“Those who have puffin as their animal totem usually understand the parental abandonment. Puffins usually leave their young ones to dive to a far away part of the ocean to get for them some small fish food. This teaches us the feeling that a child has when they are abandoned by the parent.
If you have the puffin power, you will want to have a lifetime partner or mate just as the puffin that encourages lifetime mating. Partners are very important not only for procreation but also for companionship. Those who don’t have partners tend to live a lonely life.
Puffin shows up as a spirit guide when...
- You need to understand the parent and child relationship.
- You need to live longer.
- You need power to thrive in darkness.
- You need to have a lifetime partner.
- You need to understand your surrounding.
Puffin info copied from: https://www.auntyflo.com/magic/puffin
When bear comes wandering into your life there are several things this Animal Spirit may be trying to tell you.
Bear Spirit provides us with strength in times when we feel weak or helpless. If you have been swallowing your words and compromising your vision, Bear’s message is stay TRUE.
When we look at Bear’s hibernation cycle we are also reminded of the value of rest, quiet and privacy, particularly in our busy society. It is important to move away from daily clamor so we can truly listen to our higher selves and the Divine.
Bear may have also arrived at a time of self-examination. This could be a moment where you need “cave time” so you can really listen to your heart instead of 101 voices all of whom, while well meaning, seem to think they know what’s best for you. Find your truth. Then, live it with the same humor and honor as does Bear.
https://whatismyspiritanimal.com/spirit-totem-power-animal-meanings/mammals/bear-symbolism-meaning/
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I made nothing up of what I posted above. The “Messages” I felt were told to me by my spirit guides were verbatim with what I felt was the message in the meditation. It was only afterwards (just now) that I looked up the actual animal meanings to these messages, and stumbled upon the picture that actually made me realize the bird in my dream was a Puffin. To give a brief overview so you’ll be able to see how scarily accurate this all was-
I’m a young entrepreneur about to leave the country. I’m trying to live based entirely off intuition (inner truth-finding your own "cave"??? BEAR!) -so I still haven’t bought my tickets yet (even though I’m supposed to leave..Oh I don’t know..Tomorrow??) (trusting your TRUTH)
I live in California by myself, where all of my family is back in the Midwest. I was the middle child and have often felt “Alone”
I’ve never wanted to be married. But I have always wanted a life partner (puffin).
And just left a semi-toxic relationship.
So..If you couldn’t see how much sense the Puffin and the Bear made any sense before..hope that clears it up somewhat now.
If you enjoyed reading this post please like it/follow or comment! I’ll be leaving the country in a few days to travel (forever!) starting in Bali! And will continue my spiritual journey and mediations! Please let me know what you’d like to hear or see along the way!!
All for now, Love,
<3
Elise