I first started asking myself some big, meaningful questions after almost killing myself.
Who am I?
Is there more than just this physical reality?
What’s my purpose?
Why am I here on Earth?
How can I stop these bad habits?
How can I be happy?
What can I do to grow as a person?
All of these questions, and more, became a daily search for me, after one fateful night…
I was in college. And I was at the lowest point of my life. I fought with my parents almost every time I talked to them, I neglected my sister and brother, my grades were terrible, I wasn’t having any luck with girls, I was desperately trying to fit in and be viewed as “cool” among my peers, I had overwhelming social anxiety and I drank until I blacked out 2-3 times per week.
Looking back, I send love and forgiveness to that aspect of me.
One night I went to a party at a friend’s house. Like most nights, I was drowning my sorrows in alcohol. I was damn good at it too. I would chug beers, take shots, whatever it took to escape. And though I considered it fun, there was so much pain beneath the empty, drunken smile.
After getting really drunk, we ended up going to another person’s house, who happened to have a massive liquor collection. The last thing I remember was taking a few shots…
I woke up in the hospital.
Apparently, someone found me in a parking lot at 5am, passed out on the hood of a car. And when they measured my blood alcohol content at the hospital, it was 0.31 (0.4 is death). That was hours after I stopped drinking! So let’s just say that I have guardian angels. I’m lucky to be alive.
I called my mom later that day, after I was released from the hospital. She wasn’t mad at me, she was just really, really sad. I was filled with fear, guilt and anxiety. I remember laying in bed that night, thinking that my heart was stopping. But it kept on beating. And I was grateful to be alive.
Over the next few days, I had some more conversations with my mom and a trip to the school psychologist. Once the fear, guilt and anxiety dissipated, I started soul searching.
There was something within me, an inner calling, that I knew I had to follow.
That’s when I started to ask myself some big, meaningful questions…
Who am I?
Is there more than just this physical reality?
What’s my purpose?
Why am I here on Earth?
How can I stop these bad habits?
How can I be happy?
What can I do to grow as a person?
Even just entertaining questions like these sent a wave of energy through my body. I’d never experienced anything like it, so I kept following that calling.
It led me to spiritual, self-help books. It led me to journaling. It led me to eating healthy and honoring my body. It led me to developing a love for fitness. It led me to love nature. It led me to meditation.
Since that “rock bottom” moment, I’ve gradually been grounding myself deeper and deeper into love. It’s been quite the journey. And it continues to this day.
While I don’t recommend seeking out a “rock bottom” experience to spark the divine within, I do recommend everyone explore the deep, meaningful questions that come from such an experience.
That’s why I created the Divine Inquiry Journal.
It allows you to ask yourself inspiring questions, that spark the divine brilliance within you. It’s simple, incredibly effective, and most importantly, it comes from within.
There’s no guru to depend on. There’s no authority figure to tell you what to do. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.
Allow the Divine Inquiry Journal to come into your life today. Get a copy HERE.
Keep shining.
Love & Blessings
– Stephen Parato
Thank you so much for sharing this part of your life with us. Gurus and spiritual leaders are great, but ultimately it is our inner guide that we need to (start learning to) tune into. Wonderful post x
Thank you :)
I am happy for you that you got the right track in life after all the suffering. Inspirational story.
Thank you! :)
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Thank you so much :)
You are welcome! 🙂
Hello @stephenparato, thank you for sharing this creative work! We just stopped by to say that you've been upvoted by the @creativecrypto magazine. The Creative Crypto is all about art on the blockchain and learning from creatives like you. Looking forward to crossing paths again soon. Steem on!
Thank you!