Optimism at the End of the World #10 : Selfishness and Selflessness - The two are not at odds

in #spirituality7 years ago

One big roadblock I run into when talking to many pessimists, or people who like to think of themselves as "realists", is this idea that humans are selfish "by nature". I don't use quotations to be derogatory, these are often highly intelligent people. Among them, selfishness is thought of as some aspect of "the human condition". "It's just how we are".

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Are humans truly selfish by nature?

The idea goes something like this. "Humans, as well as other animals, act primarily out of self interest. This is inevitable, as it serves as a primary survival mechanism, not only for the individual, but for the entire species". Ok, fair enough. In harsh environments this does seem to be how people act, And we could forgive them for acting this way. But there is something essential that is missing from this equation.

By assuming that competition or a lack of resources are a given, we severely limit our understanding of human nature.

We assume that competition is also part of our human nature, but we only know what human nature looks like in a limited range of cultural situations. We have a handful of cultures right now and a handful from the past that we can use to understand human nature. The examples from the present are linked to the past, and most examples from the past that we are familiar with are ripe with war, slavery, oppression, tyranny, and ruthlessness, at times veiling itself in the interest of the current historical narrative. There are many positive examples of human nature from the past that go overlooked or receive unfair treatment in our records in an attempt to glorify the idea of "progress", so central to our understanding of the world.

But there indigenous tribes who understood the importance of harmony with nature far better than our modern societies do. There were those who had a deep understanding of our inter-connectivity, the rhythms of nature, and the threads that tie it all together. We are disconnected from nature, disconnected from the realities of life, and oblivious to how deeply we are all connected, and yet we still claim to know much about "human nature".

Whether or not we have what we need to survive and thrive, we are made to feel that we don't have enough and this locks us in a state where human nature is selfish.

Human nature through the lens of abundance

When we change our framing and our perspective of lack to one of abundance, our entire understanding of human nature changes. We begin to see how inevitably linked we all are and our sense of self expands to include others as well. Our selfishness becomes selflessness. We are both and neither.

To express it another way, We naturally act in the interest of others when it doesn't conflict without our own interests. The only reason so many of us act selfishly is because we carry the false assumption that our personal interests are at odds with the interests of others.

When we build trusting relationship with other individuals and communities, we can begin to find harmony between our own our interests and the interests of others. Ideas of selfishness and selflessness become moot points when we understand that we are all one. This in no way conflicts with the idea of individuality. We are able to express ourselves as individuals in harmony with the collective. Everyone wins.

How do we break free from the past.

The first step is to realize that our ideas about human nature are influenced by our history. There is no need to condem it, it has taught us a great many things and has provided us with technology to build a much brighter future. But we also need to advance spiritually to catch up with our technology. We need to find faith in humanity.

The second thing to remember is that there is no need to feel guilty about your own wellbeing and abundance. Of course HOW you go about finding it is something you should think about but you will be most able to help others when your own needs are met, whatever those needs may be. Don't feel guilty about making money, as long as you feel ok about how you made it. Don't feel bad about receiving help and kindness from others, as long as you are greatful. This is trickier than it sounds and perhaps requires a change in beliefs. There is a such thing as a free ride. Money is not the root of all evil (although our collective relationship with it is unhealthy). Hard work may be a virtue to some but it's not the only virtue, it's not the only way to provide value for others.

The most important thing is building trust. If we build trust with others and create pockets of trust in our neighborhoods,we begin to get a glimpse of our true potential. We can begin to let our guards down and imagining all the possibilities. Then through trial and error we can come up with solutions to all of our problems.

In my next post I'll talk about how you can experience this for yourself right here on steemit.

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Excellent post.
Pockets of greedy minorities, set the tone in many ways, and in many places. They took advantage of hospitality across the world, saw it as a weakness, and proceeded to destroy trust. Colonising along the way.
It is impossible to reverse, but not impossible to progress.
Generations handing down grievances, in the form of a fashionable chip on the shoulder, has become common-place in a lot of societies, but not all.
We are not shaped by the truth, we are shaped by the way history is taught. There is nothing natural about selfishness, that has been taught, and is still being taught....
We are naturally selfless, with innate fight or flight or feed tendencies, designed only for defense purposes.

Read are we racist...

https://steemit.com/misinformation/@joeyarnoldvn/are-we-racist#@fortyplus/re-joeyarnoldvn-are-we-racist-20170817t145506063z

It is wrong to lump everyone into the same category, so to say we are all this or that is not correct. We tend to make generalizations, and that can be used to make a point. I agree with the original post and this response, but wish to add one comment for something to think about:
In the USA (which is supposed to be the richest country) where abundance is plentiful, why do we still see so much greed?

Not disagreeing with you, but what do you define as greed? My idea of greed is trying to gain no matter how it hurts others. So, I'm not sure there is "so much greed" in the US. I think it's more like a few greedy people/ companies that end up controlling a large part of the economy because of their greed. But the majority of Americans I meet aren't greedy.

Excellent question @kendewitt.
I suppose I define greed as not being satisfied with having enough to be comfortable. So many strive to keep up with all the excesses they see others having and want the same.

Abundance with fear is no true abundance. As I said above, we are made to feel that we don't have enough, no matter how much we have. We worry at we will lose what we have and that the world is not trustworthy enough to help us. We also confuse freedom with egoism and think that having so much more than others is a natural goal to pursue, rather than seeking opportunities to bring others up with us.

Lots of programming to undo.

Absolutely a lot of programming needs to be undone.
Believe it or not, it took losing practically everything I worked for in order for me to lose my fear of losing everything! Perhaps that is why poor people are often happier than wealthy people? The poor have nothing to lose and thus no fear?

So easy to believe because I went through the same thing. ;-)

I don't really think there is any correlation between happiness and wealth whatsoever. I find 95% of people to be some kind of unhappy regardless of other factors until they deprogram and face their fears.

Beautifully put, I'll be paying attention to your posts and checking out the article you linked. You sound like a true ally in the quest to realize the true potential of humanity :-)

This is by far the greatest advice! I should accept help and kindness from others without probably overthinking about their motives. If they want help, i'd try to assume they are genuinely wanted to help although if I look on the other side of the coin, they don't.

Don't feel guilty about making money, as long as you feel ok about how you made it. Don't feel bad about receiving help and kindness from others, as long as you are greatful.

Letting our guards down isn't as easy as it takes. Experiences from the past plays role in creating a wall and our self defense mechanism. Just by imagining possible outcomes by trusting people isn't easy but I gotta say, sometimes we have to just take a little risk and come out from our little world to see what other people has to offer. Sometimes help comes from the most unexpected ways isn't it?

The most important thing is building trust. If we build trust with others and create pockets of trust in our neighborhoods,we begin to get a glimpse of our true potential. We can begin to let our guards down and imagining all the possibilities. Then through trial and error we can come up with solutions to all of our problems.

Keep healing people and making them believe in human once again :)

Cheers!

Well, I think it's important to try to understand people's motives and also to make yours as clear as you can without inviting drama.

As for trust, it's important to start small and also be realistic about what everyone has to gain and lose and not be too paranoid either. This is why it's important to create situations where everyone wins. If everyone can win, the motivation to fuck someone over goes down and it's easier to start to build trust.

Nice. I would put it this way, if you expand your definition of what self is then your natural selfishness will be more effective at meeting your needs. Selfishness and altruism are both human nature. Favoring one over the other is imbalance. Denying others is denying yourself, and helping others is helping yourself.

You say it well and make it easy to understand. I was worried this post would be a bit roundabout.

I'd love to get rid of that word selfishness and find some alternative though because it's so packed with negative connotations aisle I think it's pointing in the wrong direction.

If that "selfishness is survival" and "scarche goods will alwaas lead to fights all against all" is really ture you can easily see if you look at e.g. Favelas.

Yes, there are "wars". There is a lot of fighting out of frustration. There is a lot of theft.
But there is also a deep and wide net of help. There is even pride when the people manage to get their hands (legally) on a bucket of paint so that they can paint their tiny sheds.

"We may not have much", those sheds say "but at least we have a beautiful home that everyone can enjoy looking at".

And even in the darkest corner of the black continent where millions of people die of hunger, theft and murder is not something everyone does.

Human nature is vast and responds to its situation. I talk about framing a lot because framing will dictate how your human nature expresses itself. If you see love and beauty, you will reflect that. So human nature basically just mirrors what it sees.

Check out your patreon. :-)

Ahhhhh thanks dude! <3