I totally sympathise with you, i've gone through similar phases. I'm used to setting goals for myself and it somewhat kills the pleasure of doing things. However, if your turmoil gives birth to beautiful pieces like this, it ain't all that negative :-D!
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Yeah just like the cycle of life. I wouldn't say it's all negative, but the pain was real. Kind of reminded me of the aftermath of a volcano eruption, the land becomes prosperous afterwards.
alas creativity also makes you very sensitive. I think you're a very talented writer as well though, i hope that you also write besides painting :-)