I am actually feeling not good right now because of the pain in my body, my tailbone, my back, my hip joints, my feet, knees, and elbows. If the lid of my eyes had joints I believe that they would hurt too, its terrible and worrisome to be honest. It is just my fear that I won't get better with my bone and joint complaints and will suffer a further pain or worse total immobility with pain that goes along with it.
I just pray to God to take my spirit already because i know that even though I am an evil person I do not deserve this kind of flagellation that not only affects my physical body but also my inner strength and mental state as well. It is hard to manage my health because it not only involves pain, it involves disfigurement, speech impediment, eating problems, and of course the large expenses that I have to fulfill because hospitals and pharmacies doesn't accept leaf as a payment.
That is why I am very thankful and grateful about steem community because it is giving me the way to at least earn some money that I can patch for my life's necessities particularly for my medical essentials that I have to make sure that I am getting because just to make things get some hope of improvement although in the back of my mind my case really is hopeless.
But I will keep on fighting no matter what and see what I, God, and the steem community can do to help myself take-out my body from these hordes of medical complications that I am battling with for about more than a three quarters of my life here in this world already. How sweet it will be if I would triumph, it will just be like I am born again.
Anyway today's session went well as my BP didn't crash, it just went as low as 110 systolic which is really my normal BP without feeling light-headed. Eating a pepperoni sandwich which maybe I assimilated an hour and a half before my hook-up for my dialysis, I think it is better than getting hooked up immediately after eating that. I was able to eat my usual fried meat with gravy on rice meal because it is nice to eat when it is hot that way.
Not much of a fuss happened except we were there early and the patient before me had to wait for its BP to normalize before he got up, it meant that I waited for a long, long time before I got with my turn. But thanks be to God for this day and I had my needed excess body's water reduced although I believe that there are more left and of ocurse I had my needed blood-cleansing session that made me feel good again if not for the pain.
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Gotta get some good days in once in awhile :-)