Mentally Strong Habits 3: Thought For The Day #58💭✍

in #steem6 years ago

They Don’t Focus On Things They Can’t Control

‘You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduce by them’
Maya Angelou

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Keeping Everything Under Control

It feels safe to have everything under control, but thinking we have the power to always pull the strings can become problematic. Do you respond to any of the following points below?

  1. You invest energy into wanting others to change
  2. You try and prevent bad things from happening.
  3. You think you can single-handedly fix everything.
  4. You assume good luck has nothing to do with your future, only based on how hard you work.
  5. Other people accuse you of being a control freak.
  6. You struggle to delegate.
  7. You are uncomfortable asking for help.
  8. You struggle with team work.
  9. You have difficulty establishing meaningful relationships because you don’t trust people.

When you learn to let go of what you can’t control, the amount of time and energy you’ll be able to devote to things you can control will give you the ability to achieve great things!
Trying to control everything is a way of managing anxiety. You rather control your environment rather than your anxiety. We don’t trust other people’s capabilities.

Locus Of Control

Deciding what is within your control and what isn’t largely depends on your belief system. Your locus of control can be external, ‘whatever is meant to be will be’, or internal, people believe they have full control over their future.
Take the example of a job interview. An interal LOC would respond with, ‘I should have redone my resume, I’ve got to sharpen my interview skills’. External on the other hand would be, ‘It wasn’t the right job for me’. This is just a matter of your beliefs, which stem from environment and childhood.

You Can’t Control Everything

Take notice of when you’ve devoted too much energy to people and circumstances that you just couldn’t change.

Remind yourself that there’s a lot you can’t control:

  1. You can host a good party, but you cant control wether people have fun.
  2. You can give your child the tools to be successful, but you can’t make them a good student.
  3. You can do your best at your job, but you cant recognise your work.
  4. You can be the smartest person in the room, but you cant control whether people choose to follow your advice.

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Influence People Without Trying To Control Them

  1. Listen first, speak second. People like it when you hear what they have to say.
  2. Share your opinion and concerns, but only share it once. Repeating unease can backfire.
  3. Change your behaviour. Set a good example.
  4. Notice the positive. Recognise people’s good efforts.

Benefits Of Giving Up Control

  1. Happiness: balanced locus, bi-local expectancy. Do what they can and accept the rest.
  2. Relationships: fewer trust issues. Ask for more help. Increased sense of belonging.
  3. Less stress: not carrying around the stress of the world.
  4. Opportunities: not controlling everything invites more opportunities into your life.
  5. Success: recgonise good fortune and positivity in life.

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Thank you very much for reading today's Thought For The Day. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below, I'm eager to hear!

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@Luppers

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@luppers, Control towards particular situation comes from Understanding and by that i mean, most of the times people fall under illusion and they think that they know everything about particular situation, but most of the times it's not the case and it leads to fail to control particular situation. So, we have to analyse situations and every aspect to gain an effective control towards anything and without proper understanding it's definitely tough job. Stay blessed.

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Yes, we can become consumed by thinking we know everything and thinking that we can do everything by ourselves! Letting go is a powerful thing, something I need to work on more, allowing things to come my way!

Thank you for the kind words! Please feel free to share your thoughts on my posts again in the future, I am eager to hear what you have to say and will also give you another generous upvote!

Upvoted 50%!!

Yes, human beings cannot master everything because we are Infinite beings and always stay in the state of Evolutionary and not Completion. And people who stops learning they stops their evolution and to attain evolution we have to leave Ego behind. Have a joyful time ahead.

Grrat point. I guess this was what i was lacking back then. I thought i can control everything, control anyone, try to change everyone but my effort was in vain and i later realise it was and it can not be possible

Letting go is really healthy. I have been realising recently that I should try and let go more about life as a whole instead of trying to have everything worked out and be perfect all the time!

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You truly believe that you can not control everything around you. You have to be convinced and believe that what is happening is possible and destiny
You have to motivate yourself and not listen to others and if anything is lost from you will come better than it if it was good for you was lost to you and if it was good to stay for you
thanks @luppers

I like what you're saying. Positive mindset!!

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I guess moderation is still the best.

We often times have tendencies to have and to get more and much more.
This is the reason why we end up working very hard in everything that we do in order to be greater than others.
Because of our extremities, we lose control of ourselves and often times we control others and everything.
Thus, we end up exhausted and produce useless energies.

Yes that is true, so much of our self esteem in the modern world comes from what we are achieving which is an unhealthy frame to come from and yes as you say this can be so exhausting!

Thank you for the kind words! Please feel free to share your thoughts on my posts again in the future, I am eager to hear what you have to say and will also give you another generous upvote!

Upvoted 40%!!

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 🧘🏼‍♂️🧘🏼‍♂️🧘🏼‍♂️
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Thank you for the great quotations again!!

Thank you for the kind words! Please feel free to share your thoughts on my posts again in the future, I am eager to hear what you have to say and will also give you another generous upvote!

Upvoted 40%!!

I agree with you that everything in control is absurd, but if you just sit and watch, you will see how limitless your thinking is. If you try to calm him down, it will only get worse. But over time, thinking itself calms down and you learn to control it. At this moment, intuition wakes up and you see everything around much more clearly than you saw it before.

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Thank you for the resteem!

Upvoted 25%!!

Great quote for the day!!
Upvoted and resteemed

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Resteemed - great post I needed this

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