How to move forward after a painful relationship

in #steemchurch7 years ago (edited)

When facing a situation of rupture in a romantic relationship that causes us pain and anxiety, there are several useful measures that can be applied to propitiate the process of overcoming those feelings.

It should not be forgotten that, ultimately, they are feelings that impede our good emotional and social development.


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First, and although it seems obvious, it is important to say: Stop frequenting the places where it is possible to find your former partner.

When speaking with young people, it is usual to state that it is difficult for them to forget because "by chance" they usually find the other everywhere.

My ordinary recommendation is to do a self-assessment to determine if, rather unconsciously, there is a search for the other and, therefore, attend the places where a reunion can take place.

No matter how much we like to go to certain places, at least until the wound heals, it is better to consciously avoid those reunions.


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Look for other environments, other circles, relate to new people, and not for romantic purposes but diversifying and deepening friendly relations.

Also, if you think it is especially difficult to overcome this trance, think about the possibility of seeking the help of someone who can guide you professionally in a process that allows you to be free.

Determine if, rather unconsciously, there is a search for the other.
Ultimately, only intentionally, through rationalization and planning, is it possible to overcome a relationship that has hurt us.

Through this process we can learn the valuable lessons that this experience can leave us and even more, walk towards learning what it really means to love and be loved.

Walk towards learning what it really means to love and be loved
We can say that a true recovery and internalization of new ways of relating healthy, begins with the conscious decision to overcome the crisis, strengthen existing friendships, foster new relationships of friendship, assume a new attitude based on a healthy self-image and finally , love and let yourself be loved under a correct conception of what love really is.

Now, at this point they will ask themselves: So, what is the true face of love? How to love and be loved correctly?

Although in the following pages we are going to talk more concretely about the true face of love in a romantic relationship, I will answer this question with the most accurate description I know of what it is to love (1 Corinthians 13.47, TLA):

The one who loves has patience in everything, and is always kind.

The one who loves is not envious, nor believes more than anyone else.

He is not proud.

It is not rude or selfish.

Do not be angry about anything.

He does not spend his life remembering how bad others have done to him.

Do not applaud the wicked, but those who speak truthfully.

The one who loves is capable of enduring everything, of believing everything, of waiting for everything, of bearing everything.

This description of what it means to love is the most important resource that one should appropriate in order to satisfy that affective need inherent in every human being, without falling into amorous relationships usually eroticized that cause pain.

One of the most important points to avoid getting involved in unhealthy relationships is to add to the feelings intelligence.

When I refer to intelligence in love, what I propose is that you take the time to get to know the people around you.

If you feel attracted to someone of the opposite sex, reflect, in the most objective way possible, on your character, attributes, morals and way of acting, among other things.

Reflect on what a relationship might look like with a view to a future commitment among you.
When you fall in love, often you do something that attracts you to the other person, but when you get married, you marry a character, a way of being, with the learned customs.

Therefore, add intelligence and objectivity to falling in love. Ask yourself: Do I see myself living with such a person? Do I like the way he relates to his parents?

I'm sure you've already wondered what parents have to do with their romantic relationship. One day you will be part of that inner circle and will be treated according to that particular way of relating.

Love is not blind, love thinks and is capable of projecting itself in time.

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RELEASING THE WOUNDS.
Proverbs of King Solomon, chapter 16: With mercy and truth, sin is corrected (Verse 6) When the ways of man are pleasing to God, even his enemies makes him be at peace with him (Verse 7) Before the breaking is the arrogance, and before the fall the haughtiness of spirit (Verse 18) Better is to humble the spirit with the humble than to share spoils with the proud (Verse 19) There is a way that seems right to man, but its end is the way of death (Verso 25) In this chapter, King Solomon urged us to understand that true freedom is possible only within the sphere of a life centered on God, for which he created us. On the other hand, slavery inevitably comes to anyone who does not really know God. Slavery comes when we let ourselves be governed by rebellion, pride, arrogance, lawsuits, and malicious conflicts. For all this, Jesus left stipulated that he came to give us the freedom that every human being needs.

DR

Releasing the Wounds "No human being can live with bitterness because bitterness is poison against the soul and that forgiveness brings God's healing in our lives." Texts (Matthew 18: 21-22) (Ephesians 4: 31-32)

This part got me thinking for a while:

This description of what it means to love is the most important resource that one should appropriate in order to satisfy that affective need inherent in every human being, without falling into amorous relationships usually eroticized that cause pain.

Trying to move on after a broken relationship, can be likened to one who has just been discharged from the hospital, and having to live again.
As individuals, especially those considering of going to a relationship or those who appear to have gotten out of one or more, we must clearly distinguish love from infatuation. Infatuation is blind and cloud one's reasoning but love never does this. Like you said:

Love is not blind, love thinks and is capable of projecting itself in time.

Thanks for sharing @xiore

The one who loves is capable of enduring everything, of believing everything, of waiting for everything, of bearing everything..... that is how a Christian should love God

You have to forgive and take refuge in God!

Mending sets aside time for individuals particularly when we've put our chance and life into someone else. This is the thing that makes it difficult for individuals to proceed onward.

For any relationship we find our self which is not of God will always scrumble and will never last.
Weay be passing through some difficulties in relationship but we should always remember that Christ is always with us in the times of our weakness and in times of bad situation.
Built your relationship in the Lord

Reflect on what a relationship might look like with a view to a future commitment among you.
When you fall in love, often you do something that attracts you to the other person, but when you get married, you marry a character, a way of being, with the learned customs.
Thanks for sharing

Interesting post about love, friendship and relationships, and how to move on after a breakup. In my opinion, true love is when there is respect, understanding and cooperation. In a toxic relationship, only one partner put efforts in the relationship.

Walk towards learning what it really means to love and be loved
We can say that a true recovery and internalization of new ways of relating healthy, begins with the conscious decision to overcome the crisis, strengthen existing friendships, foster new relationships of friendship, assume a new attitude based on a healthy self-image and finally , love and let yourself be loved under a correct conception of what love really is.
Thanks for sharing

Healing takes time for people especially when we've invested our time and life into another person. This is what makes it hard for people to move on.

Discharging the Wounds "No person can live with sharpness since severity is harm against the spirit and that absolution acquires God's recuperating our lives." Texts (Matthew 18: 21-22) (Ephesians 4: 31-32)

for which he made us. Then again, subjugation unavoidably comes to any individual who does not so much know God. Subjugation comes when we let ourselves be represented by insubordination, pride, haughtiness, claims, and vindictive clashes.

Bhae seedhi si baat hay aap relationship mei aao hi nahi bhae sukoon raha ga apki Zindagi mei.
Dekhou aik baat yudh rakhna meri hamesha.
Sab chutiya hain or relationship chutiyap hay :D

wah bhai
ultra legend

Good write up about how to let it go...
You just have to let go for it can hold you back from moving forward.

When facing hard time in a relationship, you can definitely seek God for advice on what and what to do.
Also there are other ways you can live on after a very bad relationship, you just have to stay positive and forget about the past.
Always seek God before going into a relationship. Build your relationship in God.