Bob, you've outdone yourself here. This is a fantastic, honest, and open post. You should be proud of what you've written.
I want to offer you advice, to help you, but I don't think it's my place. I think it's better if I let you know that you're part of a group (SteemianFoodNetwork) that values your membership; you're part of the team. If you want someone to listen, I'm sure there are plenty willing to lend an ear.
Your post also reminds me of a similar post from a Python developer by the name of Kenneth Rietz. The post is called MentalHealthError: An exception occurred. Perhaps you can find solace in what he writes.
Take care of yourself. Put your health and your sanity first.
Thanks buddy, it's good to know there's support there. We do have a good team and I wish only good things for all of you :)
I'll take a look at his work bro, thanks.
Most of this is probably fear of what I'm about to put myself thru over the next 6 weeks : /
Maybe too much pressure on the prospect of not earning here for that period?
I dunno, I'm workin with and through it with the help of friends like yourself :)