The White Race’s Apology to the Black Race: A Solution to the Black Race’s Complaints and Our Common Problem To the entire Black race living in America, we, the Adamic, pink complexioned race (better known to you as the White race) that came to these shores from Iceland, En- gland, Ireland, Scotland, and Europe, apologize for freeing you from slavery by fighting a horrible war among ourselves that cost the lives of almost two million of our own race and totally wiped out an entire way of life. We apologize for continuing to fight among ourselves over that very issue, even though you’ve never told us you appreciate our freeing you. We apologize for splitting to pieces our entire race the world over to take sides with you to help you survive and become a freer race. We apologize for forcing the rest of the world to outlaw the slavery which your ancestors had practiced for thousands of years, even though many nations on your home continent still practice it today. We apologize for thinking we could civilize you when you have proven that it is indeed an impossible feat, a feat beyond anything we could have ever imagined. We apologize for introducing Christianity to you and dragging you away from the Voodoo you previously followed, although you have managed to sneak that religion back into cultic Christianity and our people have accepted it, which is attested by their animal- istic whooping and hollering and stomping and screaming instead of respectfully wor- shiping our God as they ought to.
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