Dear Diary: I Realized That I Am Lonely

in #steemit7 years ago (edited)

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The year 80's was full of joy and hopes for me, it was the years that I was still enjoying movies that are shown on television because we don't own a betamax player. Those were the days that I still enjoy cartoons and there were no PIXAR animations then, just Disney and Hannah-Barbera produced cartoons that tickles my imagination because of my naive mind as I was easily moved and taken away by movies, cartoons and my hopes that the future is also bright for me.

Well little that I know that I will soon realize that movies and cartoons are just made to entertain, make money with, and show people things that are impossible can be made into a possibility only in our eyes and ears. So you will eventually say "Oh I already know how it's done" so with that you are not fooled anymore by what you will see in movies as you already know that the character really didn't get hurt or die or that event or scene was just done by computer application. So the movie magic for me is gone thanks to my mature mind that I wished today didn't grew up with me.

A little years later my life changed as my medical condition just had put a leash on me on everything that I would do in my life. At school I couldn't excel because I am already sick, my blood circulation just got affected especially for my brain that quite affected my ability to just be a good student grade-wise. So I couldn't get high grades and at college I abruptly just stopped going to school because my grades are already affected because I couldn't concentrate literally on my studies.

My body also deteriorated as years go by as I struggle to gain weight and later my height went south then currently it all just went bust as I suffered one of the rarest form of bone disease plus the collapsing of my backbone which makes me unable to breath normally not to mention the pain it caused me in a number of years and to top it all was the changing of my appearance that although I do not want to think about just saddens me because people treat me horribly in a annoying manner, they all seems to be like each other most of the time, like an impolite child that is as curious as a cat.

The changes in my mouth also gives me a burden as it feels like what it looks like. I am always having a bad breath because I cannot close my mouth properly and I cannot brush my teeth because it bleeds. It is hard to eat and chewing was a struggle as I have to be horizontal so that the foods that I chew would not fall out from my mouth.

I couldn't even converse or chat normally with my gums raised and people are just struggling to understand every word that I say. So what really is my life? It is a life full of frustrations, hardships, and misery. So I am just elated that somehow there is my friends here at steemit that supports me and the fact that I can get help is a reason enough for giving thanks but it doesn't mean that I am not hard-up and struggling. I am but the only difference is that I have not much pain and I am having a hard time breathing.

Looking back into where I had been and where I am now currently physically makes me lonely and it is a sad fact that I do have the most unimaginable health conditions that a person can get and live with until me eventual demise. One of the things that keeps me going was my friends here at steemit as they fight alongside me, I also can't let them down. But my body really is enduring the times and I don't really know when it would capitulate so I am just holding and keeping my goal of self-improvement physically and medically because it is the right thing to do right now. A tough and lonely battle against all odds in my dear life.

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You're wrong, we all are with you. You can not think of loneliness. All of us who wish you for your well-being. You can live so well. You should be healthy and come back to us. Pray that we are all in our heart Since you are praying for yourself, you are actually living your life with so many people You alone are your success, your well-being, we all want the New Year, many wishes and many more love

All the steem members are with you.Please do not feel that you are alone .Please be with us thanks @cryptopie

i pray for you, You can return to normal life quickly.

Happy new year @cryptopie. Hope you succeed on what you are wishing for. Cheers!

Hi @cryptopie, here's I will tell you.. you're the most amazing person that I know. Despite of what you are going through, you are still doing best to beat that disease.. unlike others that just lie in bed and wait. Your blogs are colorful so I guess your life as well.. be strong friend.. you're not alone.. steemit is here listening.. keep that head up high!

Be strong, dear. God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers, so you are.

you must change your position after half an hour so you will feel much better. You will be fine soon, May god with you and his blessings too. Amen

One big problem in our lives alone. When we have a problem, we feel lonely. Then life becomes very difficult.

Why do you think that you are not alone, we are all alone, and we always will always be good wishes. I wish you always be good and healthy. Today is the first day of the year every day from today's day and I wish you a happy new year

O Friend Happy New Year you are not alone, Of course we are all yours. Steemit user All friends A family I also think you never alone yourself Happy New Year

You are not alone man, Steemit is with you.

The World is Yours 🌍

Dear not think ur alon, we are all in ur side.
We always support u.
Many loves for you....thanks

@cryptopie

From the bottom of my heart, I wish this year you will receive opportunities to grow emotionally, mentally and spiritually! Happy new year :)

You ain't lonely, you got us here at Steemit for you. Stop feeling sad, we got you. We love you so much and don't forget you also got God. As long as you are alive there is hope, stop beating yourself dear, we understand what is going on, we would go through this together. Smile this is a new year dear. Pls smile

You look quite young for someone born in the 80s. Moreover despite your brain being affected, your writing skills are very good as I don't see a single grammatical mistake. It really sucks though that people treat you impolitely just because of the way you look. People nowadays are very materialistic, you know.

@cryptopie
Who said you alone? You're our favorite friend. There is bad time in everyone's life. So do not be frustrated. We are always with you. You must be the win in the war of life.

Do not be frustrated.
We are with you.

Great post 👍

You are not alone.all members with u

You are going through lots of struggles! That is unfortunate! But have faith in Almighty! He might have different plan for you, either in this world or after that. One comparative good thing is that you can write! By this way, world can know about your life and your journey!

Dreaming a good thing, sometimes the dream will come true ,, your hope in the future will be better. which is important to live our lives thankful for what it is.
@cryptopie

Moga cepat sembuh