Thank you for your honesty in your post. Personally, I often feel like that one has to "act" in a certain way (always happy, nice, positive) that people like you in here. That doesn't resonate with me. I'm more like a bit philosophical and thinking about like. Sometimes a bit melancholic. That's not what gets you many upvotes. But yeah, as @reddragonfly said: maybe that's the wrong reason for being here. Making friends with people interested in the same thing as you, would be an intrinsic motivation, whereas money/upvotes are only an extrinsic motivation.
Anyhow, I've created my account as an experiment. I promised myself to stay away from trying to please others . I will just post some pictures and write a couple of lines about me life. And I will see where this will bring me in a year. Will I make some friends? Will I earn some $? We'll see.
Good luck to you!