Why Being A Stay-At-Home-Wife Is The Perfect Career Choice For Me
Back when my three kids were young, still in school and I was married to their father, I was fortunate to be able to stay home; raising the kids, taking care of the house, being ultra active in their school and extra-curricular activities and groups.
But once they were in school full-time (the youngest starting a full-day of kindergarten), I sought a full-time job outside the home. Talk about a culture shock for me I had been out of the work force for a decade. My resume was definitely out of date and my skills were limited; as I had not gone to college for a degree. I was married at the age of 17 and had our first son when I was 18. All I knew was how to be a mom.
Getting out into the workforce was an enigma to me.
I graduated high school at 17, got married one month later, bought a house two months later and three months after graduation from high school, welcomed our son into the world. Yeah, it was the 80's- I was a statistic Over the next seven years, I made a home and gave birth to two daughters. I wasn't me.. I was so-and-so's mom or his wife. I had no identity of my own; so to speak.
But getting my first adult job at the age of 25, I had an individuality of my own. To be honest, it felt weird.
In every job I had my adult life, I was in some way or another taking care of people. Whether driving kids to and from school as a bus driver, or being an administrative assistant. I was always making sure everyone's needs were met. Even as a newspaper reporter or writer; I was meeting deadlines, filling in for other staff writers who had cramped schedules and needed notes from a meeting or pictures from an event.
Jobs I've Had In My Lifetime
- Pharmacy Technician
- Licensed Cosmetologist (never worked in a salon though)
- Administrative Assistant
- Newspaper reporter and staff writer
- Office Manager at camp for disabled adults
- Teacher's Assistant
- School Bus Driver
- Freelance writer/stringer/ghost writer
- Barmaid
- Human Resource Assistant
Staying Home: Yes... It Is A 24/7 Job
When my kids were still at home I was constantly on the go. Someone forgot lunch money. Someone else needed a permission slip signed. Someone needed a class mom to organize parties. It was a never-ending rotation of mom needs.
When I was a newspaper reporter, freelance stringer and ghost writer, I had the luxury of working from home most days. But, the ids knowing this, called me EVERY chance they got. We were back to the signed permission slips, someone forgot their game jersey for that night's game or someone needed to be signed out of school because they weren't feeling well.
So while working a full-time job (at one point in time I was working three jobs as a divorced mom of three teenagers), I was still the mom. Making sure the house wasn't falling down. Making sure the bills were paid. Making sure everyone had what they needed.
Granted I loved being a writer and newspaper reporter, but being a mom and taking care of the house always made me smile. It didn't matter that I was cooking and baking all weekend (I dabbled in once-a-week meal planning for years), had a ton and a half of laundry that needed to be folded or put away, or that the bathrooms needed a good bleach spraying... I was in my element.
When I married my current husband, I was still working a full-time job as an administrative assistant (minimum of 50 hours per week) and I did that for four years after we exchanged our vows. When I fractured my femur back in October of 2016, I collected disability for four weeks. I was back home... I was able to clean more, cook and bake more... do all the household chores I was missing out on while working so many hours.
After deep discussion and budget re-planning, my husband and I came to the conclusion that I could give my notice at my job and stay home.
To say I was excited was an understatement. ELATED was more like it
And to be completely honest, this change in career couldn't have come at a better time. I had been suffering more and more episodes from my auto-immune disease and being able to be at home, pacing myself with chores and household duties and being able to take a break when I needed to was a God-send.
To some my life may seem boring. It may appear monotonous. It may not be what they would want for themselves. But it works for us. My husband prefers me being at home. He likes knowing I am here to take care of things. He likes it when he comes home and smells the aroma of homemade marinara sauce simmering on the stove. He likes that I am able to garden and grow some of our food- and save money. He loves that I keep the house clean and organized.
He is not an old-fashioned person or man that believes the woman's place is in the home; but he believes our chosen lifestyle is us.
So when people ask me what I do for a living.. I have my options...
- I am a steemit writer
- I am a wife
- I am a housewife
And I am proud to say I am a stay-at-home-wife (SAHW). I say it with a smile upon my face.
So how did my career of being a SAHW choose me? Not quite sure there is one particular thing. But I have to say... fracturing my femur two years ago was the eye-opening moment that made me what I am today; and allowed me continue being able to do what I love the most.
Great post. I commend you. Followed and Resteemed :)
Same. Always refreshing to see an honest post with something positive to take from. :)
Oddly enough, my wife started her first full time job in 24 years last week, having been a FULL TIME MOM, so and so's mother.
Congratulations for her!!! I wish her such luck with her new job and career.
For me, I think I have the DNA for being at home. Not sure but it brings me the most satisfaction than any job I've ever had.
Good for you, I would love to have my wife be a stay at home wife. Our youngest moved out to start a family of his own about a year and a half ago. Right after that we began the process of purchasing a couple of acres to build a small homestead with the goal in mind to build a small house out of pocket. Hopefully within the next year or so we'll get to that point where she can pick or choose to work or not. All the best to you, JerryT
That is our plan too- to buy some acreage and settle in for the retirement years.
Once we really started looking at ways to save money and how we were wasting... that dang nickel-and-dime crap. We are actually able to save $6-800 a month into savings.
I love being a SAHW and I think Chad loves being a SAHH more :) I am in complete awe of Mothers. I truly don't know how you do everything you do. I get asked all the time if I am bored now or what do you do with your time. I have no idea some days what I do. Feels like I look up and the day is gone. I enjoyed learning more about you and am happy you have found your groove in being a happy SAHW. Thank you for sharing some more of your story.
OMGosh!!! Same here. I am so busy; and now that gardening season is knocking on the door,I am re-configuring my schedule.
I never get bored... lol- not sure what boredom feels like.
Love it! I've had a job all my life. But seeing my sister at home with all the kids I know it's a 24/7 job and it has so much more meaning ;)
Yes the gratification of being able to be at home with the kids is a gift. I am fortunate to have been able to do that for decade before and now that's it's just me, hubby and our chocolate lab... I have the me time to do what I want, contribute to the household in my own way and with steemit, save for our retirement years.
Sounds perfect :)
And yes it's really a gift!
Being a Stay at home Mom is the most difficult job ever hahha.
A task that is never finished even when everyone is asleep.
I commend you for having the capacity to do all of these things and raising a family.
My hats off to you engagement goddess.
Even in your role in Steemit you are still taking care of people.
Thank you!!! I have this underlying personality of being a care-giver. I've always had it and being able to do what I do gives me the chance to fulfill this passion.
Once a mom, always a mom. And never say being a SAHW is not work. It is. It is just that is is a different kind of work, one where you don't pack a lunch and go to a 9 to 5 job! What you are doing is every bit as important as being that bus driver. People here think I am lazy because I run a homestead by myself. I am not sure what they think I do in an average day...
Lazy? Running a homestead? Really... hmmm, would be interesting to see them do your job for 24-hours. Homesteading is anything BUT being lazy.
That was beautiful mam. It brightens up my day. I am a stay at home mum too and it fullfills my heart. Thank you for this content, it boost the confidence on me being a stay at home mummy. Xx
I have always heard that being a SAHM or wife is one of the most unappreciated "careers" and it is so true. We are everything from a nurse, human resources, budgeting control, cooks, tutors, you name it, we do it all.
Congrats on being a SAHM- nothing more rewarding in the world!
I love this post. Being able to stay home is a blessing that I have to periodically remind myself not to take for granted!
100%!!!
It is truly a blessing- I never thought to use that word in my post. Thank you for reminding me.
It seems like big changes in life often come painfully, even if they are good change--like breaking a femur. I'm a SAHM, and yes, it is the never ending best job ever.
lol- kind of weird how fracturing my leg opened my eyes. But that little bit of pain for pain for a few months really was a God-send to me and my home.
I've been at home since 1990. I ran a boarding stable until 2001 when I was too sick to continue. I homeschooled our son. And I devoted a LOT of time to living frugally on 1 income.
Now I devote a LOT of time to raising most of our own food, and lately, to creating Steemit posts. :)) I also spend a lot of time doing educational things: teaching about gardening, nutrient density, food preservation, raising healthy chickens, etc.
At my age, it would be hard to find a job, not that I could work a standard 40 hr week anyways.
Interesting reading about how your life has evolved and how you identify with it.
See, I wasn't in the position when my kids were younger to be able to home-school them.I wish I had. I think back now and tell myself... "I could have done that. I could have taught them so much more about basic living skills, homestead skills, etc". Not to say they don't have life skills now from what I taught them, but to have been able to be more hands on (instead of working two and three jobs) with them I think would have given me satisfaction we all as given them more advice on certain topics.
DITTO...
I went to college in the '70s because I had scholarships, use them or lose them. I didn't know what I wanted to "be." I ended up with a B.A. in teaching, but soon found I didn't enjoy teaching at all. When I got married, I "retired" from my brief career and became a full time home-maker. And discovered that's what I really wanted to do! I taught my children at home, and we always had a big garden, and sometimes we raised chickens. I had grown up in a family of limited means, so making do with limited finances was not new to me. I don't regret those decisions at all. My children are grown now, and I am ready to scale back the gardening and the DIY approach to life, but that's ok. We don't have to keep on doing the same things forever. If "homesteading" became a necessity for survival some day, at least my kids and husband and I know how to manage!