I like these honest confessions :)
And it is also good to reflect on paper. What you say about being an influencer is true.. I only come across to you now for the first time, but as building my own SP still, we tend to reflect on what the 'bigger' players are doing and if it is accepted or not.
Keep it balanced madame, there is also a life outside the steemside, but the life inside is also nice!! We will see each other along the ride