Both intros are pretty good, I'd tend to go to #2, as it sounds clearer to me :)
I remember seeing your post, but obviously my memory is not serving me well, not even sure if I commented! Looking at your link here: https://steemit.com/steemit/@williambanks/this-is-a-real-game-changer - doesn't seem like I've made comment, but anyway, excited bout this! But I'm all the way in Asia, and I'm not sure if there are enough vendors that will participate in this to make me a valuable alpha/beta tester atm! Very interested though!
I think Asia is a really hot potential market for this, so is Latin America, Africa and other emerging markets.
I'm all the way in Mexico and yet I've managed to get a hospital, a barbershop, a taxi company, a boutique and just today I think I got a print shop. No small business owner would say no to this. It's literally free advertising of products they have for sale already. It's advertising delivered directly to paying customers with money in their pocket that they are desperately looking to spend on those specific products.
Think about it this way...
What good is a billboard when no one looks up from their phones anymore?