One of the most overlooked and yet most powerful determinants of your success and failure in life is the primary circle you have. In other words the people you hang around. To often people are looking for the secret to success and happiness. They are searching for that new methodology or that powerful strategy when the very key to their success already lies within their circle of influence.
The people we spend our primary time with are the very people who have the greatest power and influence over the direction of our lives and the level of success we will ultimately achieve.
They say there are at the most basic level two types of people in your life. They are either lifters or leaners. The lifters are the people in your life that lift you up, inspire you and encourage you no matter what you do. They believe in you and support you even when the going gets tough. These are the people you want to have on your corner cheering you on. Then there are the leaners. These people are cynical, critical people who only see the negative in everything. They tend to lean on you and drag you down to their level. Most learners of course may well have your best intention at heart but they are working from their own fears, limiting beliefs and worries and this ultimately rubs onto you.
The idea in life is to have a primary circle of lifters rather than leaners. This doesn’t mean that you go out tomorrow and abandon all your negative and discouraging friends in your life. Rather you need to start being conscious of the people who influence and speak into your life. You want to mindful that there is power in association and the influence that your key friends have over your life. You can then go out and consciously start to determine which of your friends are lifters and start investing in their lives as they invest into yours. Start to see who has a positive influence in your life and decide to spend more time with those people who encourage you rather than those you come away from emotionally drained from their endless turmoil and strife in their life. To become more successful in life you need to start to be around who are more successful. The power of association simply dictates that if you are constantly around people who are more successful, then your expectation of yourself will be raised. Its like learning to play golf. You can either play with your best friend who is a weekend hacker and spend half the round looking for the balls together in the rough or you can play with the top professionals like tiger woods. Imagine spending your weekends teeing off with the top golfers your game might still be atrocious but you will quickly improve exponentially due to the fact that you can watch, imitate and learn from the way they play and also you will begin expecting a higher standard from yourself in order to reduce the amount of embarrassment you are facing.
To get around encouraging people, become an encouraging person. Work on yourself daily. Work on your goals daily. Instead of focusing on what you can get, focus on what you can give to every person in every situation. If you can contribute value to others’ goals, chances are they’ll be likely to contribute to your goals. Leaders hang around leaders.
If you want to stay focused on your goals, seek out and hang out with others who have their own. Why waste time with people who are happy to live average lives you you don’t.
Get around people who force you to grow. Get around people who challenge you. Get around people who work on their own personal development. Get around people who encourage you to work on yourself. Get around people who encourage you to stretch. Get around people who cause you to be a better person. Get around positive people.
Take an objective look at the people you are spending time with. Ask yourself, who are you hanging around? Are your current associations aligned with who you want to become?
If not change it. After all it is your life and you will be the only person that will be held accountable for it. So why not make a difference with your life and be around people making a difference also.
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