So a bear walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartend and says "Hey I'll have a Scotch......................and a coke" The bartender looks at him puzzled and says " What's with the big pause?" The bear replies "I've had these my whole life"
A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants. The bartender looks at him and says "Hey, why do you have a steering wheel on your pants?" The man says "I have no idea but its driving me nuts"
One more...
A man comes home drunk in the middle of the night. His wife wakes up and says "Where have you been!? He says "I've been at the Golden Bar, it's the most magical place. They have golden beer, golden stools, and even a golden urinal.
His wife was suspicious and so she called the 'Golden Bar'. A man picked up the phone and she asked "Does this bar have golden beer?" The man said "Um, well yes" Then she asked "And do you have golden stools too?" The man said "Yea, yea they're kindof a goldish color" Then she asked "Well how about a golden urinal, do you have a golden urinal?" The man leans away from his phone and yells to someone in the background "Jim! I think we got a lead on the guy that pissed in our saxaphone!"
Great jokes @patton46 - however you should post these one at a time otherwise risk losing my attention - just an idea mate. SK.